Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.3

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

Lovely to see you back to the wise lady you have shown on this thread Patience, I am so pleased you are passed your glitch.

ET sorry that you are being pulled back into your XP problems, you know this is only an off day and hopefully in the next day or so you will be back to being strong and detached again.

Goo that article in the Times sounds interesting, have tried to find it to read but havent had any luck.

Hi to everyone else on the thread.

Hi ROM and thankyou.I think I just post my own experience tbh.Having the truth allowed me to move forwards,my Xs values are in the gutter.he lies to protect himself and his 21 yo gf. Any relationship with a 21 yr age gap is mental.the fact the kids got dropped off early today shows me how insecure she is and how weak he is.he denies he is still seeing her LOL.What is nice is I can be dignified and disinterested now .I am the dcs mum and a strong woman.
When my dd s daddy didn't want to see her up on stage dancing her little socks off it just brought it home to me what a sad selfish fucker he is.
I don't need him in my life ,he is only there because of dcs and their maintenance.
I don't get drawn into any negative conversations anymore.I don't ask about gf because I don't want to be lied to anymore.he is a weak snivellin man and the funniest bit is that gf thinks she has won a prize .
Indifference is fa
Snow has gone ,just up on the hills now ,take care everyone we are doing a great job ,be very proud of urselfs ,WE DIDN'T LEAVE !

*is fab

Patience 21 years difference! my H has got 27 years difference between him and OW!! No one thinks it can work only him (why are they so deluded) and I do hope I get to a place where Im not bothered whether it does or not. Im sure one day I will! They really have won a grand prize, both of the OW havent they!

I think I can honestly say that I will never have an undignified outburst again at my X .I wouldn't give him and his gf the satisfaction and tbh since I found out she is a permanent feature any feelings I had re X have gone.it just makes me shudder that I was attracted to him in the first place and he is dcs father.how one human being can hurt another so cruelly is beyond my comprehension.All because they think they are entitled to be complete selfish bastards .someone recently said to me re dv and mental cruelty my relationship was 9 out of ten and sometimes 10 out of ten re abuse.what is frightening is my X doesn't believe he was abusive.he still believes it is my fault he was violent.what is great now is he is showing his true self and he can no longer blame me.

Rom she texted me that I was a bad wife that can't keep her man happy,she keeps him very happy now .
LOL she is a waitress that lives with her mum.
She has no idea what she is dealing with.

I bet cutting up one of his shirts would be therapeutic Rom,

Who fancies having a laugh at my Exp?

Last night I was having trouble with my computer and really wanted it sorting out. It was about 1am but saw Exp online on skype. So I sent him a message asking if he could talk me though this problem. As it was lunchtime where he was I didnt think there would be a problem.

He did, so after we started chatting about the arrangements for a relatives funeral and other stuff that has been going on. Anyway, about 3am I told him I was going to bed and thanks for the help.

He then asks me....

So I cant have a show then? Meaning he wants me to um...play with myself over video on skype while he has a wank.

Er..no. I told him.

"What? not tonight or ever?" (can you belive this?)

"Ever. Night" I replaied them hung up on him.

What the hell was he thinking. We split up months ago. Di he really think I was going to do that? I never did that when we were together, never mind now we've split up.

I'm still not sure wether to laugh as I'm still to disgusted by it. It's just shown me yet another reason why I am sooo better off without the plank.

Blimey you remember that I have kept all his nice shirts!! In fact I was thinking what I should do with them today, a case in the shed I was thinking, maybe a pair of scissors would be more therapeutic as you suggest.

Sell the shirts and use the money to buy something nice for yourself.

Exp left with all his clothes still in the wardrobe. I sold them all and bought myself a really nice ring.

Any contact equals ego boost / green light IME mole.
Just another wanker eh ?
At least u got ur computer fixed and he's in another country LOL ,no chance of him turning up on ur doorstep.

Mole nice idea, like that you sold all his clothes and bought a nice ring, sound like my type of girl, thats the type of thing I would do.

Yes patience another wanker, we must all sound like men haters to any men reading.

Why ?
I dont think men agree that adultery and dv is acceptable.
I think most men would be cheering us on tbh.what would they want their mothers or sisters to do? The days of having to put up with a man disrespecting us everyday are over.A bit of u dies when u keep accepting the unacceptable

Hi all.
Good day full day now knackered.
Quite right Patience re last post - a bit of you dies. Then comes back to life slowly as you learn to love yourself!
Hi Rom - sell the shirts!
Mole - eh?!!!!! What a....well, wanker. Literally and metaphorically! The sheer arrogance of it. You should have said "Oh wonderful! Hold on, I'll just go and put some make up on!" Then logged off and sent him a message this morning saying "I had a better time on my own"!!!!

Morning everyone hope ur all good !
It's a new day ,hope everyone has some fun x

I have another 6 whole days b4 I have to see X again.his lies and bullshit are truly the only black cloud in my life anymore.How many people can say that ? If I didn't have dcs I would have moved on months ago.His crazy dysfunctional life has caused me so much pain.This time I need to let it go or forever be shackled to him as the scorned X.
My life will flourish I have no fear of that ,I just need strength to stay in my world and not wander into the blackness of his.

I have another 6 whole days b4 I have to see X again.his lies and bullshit are truly the only black cloud in my life anymore.How many people can say that ? If I didn't have dcs I would have moved on months ago.His crazy dysfunctional life has caused me so much pain.This time I need to let it go or forever be shackled to him as the scorned X.
My life will flourish I have no fear of that ,I just need strength to stay in my world and not wander into the blackness of his.

Oops ,sun is shining here and I'm walking further away from X everyday .
Broadband hub arrived ,woo hoo !

Did a long post and lost it grrrr

Getting, sometimes when I post and it doesn't 'go' straight away and I think I might lose it I press 'preview message' and then press post message and that's usually fine.

Hello,
getting I think I know exactly what you mean about another relationship. I feel now like I need to travel to my own peaceful place in my head and life and just enjoy it. I've always been v independent. i think thats probably why I settled with my x because he seemed to like me doing my own thing too and never made me feel suffocated- a blessing I sometimes thought not realsising at the time that to him I was probably a v low maintenance unsuspicious wife! Some day I will maybe fall for love but I do believe that love finds you if you learn to love yourself wholly and pour forth positive vibes!

Patience I'll do the 9 squares too but need to get the book and can only do that when I'm settled back In Ireland. Its a shame that x still casts a shadow on your brave life. your wee girl sounds like a star. Eventually i think you will move away from x's darkness and completely snap free but it must be hard. I can relate to it and would have cut my x loose years ago were it not for the boys. Now we are stuck with each other although once I move geographically i will feel so much freer. Not long to go eek wednesday am. still loads to do but I feel much better, my mum and brother have been great and i've a few good friends helping me tonight.
Waves to pink, googs, starting,tea, rom and elsie
xxx

Thinking of u Maybee ,have a safe trip,its just X lying again ,I let it bother me again but ur right its only the odd day.

Will post about 9 squares tonight,I just think if I get busy and motivated its just the thing to keep thoughts of x out my head.

Just had phonecall from hell from my X says he has to work now on Sundays and can't see the kids and I should pay my own way he cant afford maintenance.just when u think it cant get any worse ... Tried to explain to him he has to pay maintenance til they are 18 yo regardless of my earnings and he flipped it at me .

Hello, hello - everyone ok?
Glad you're feeling better Maybee.
Patience, wish I was walking as fast as you and in the right direction instead of losing my way all the time.