Help! Accidentally locked DP's bank account (snooping for evidence of cheating) what now?

[thisisnotmyideaoffun]

I've given up challenging DP on whether his (IMO) suspicious behaviour is because he's cheating. He's either a wrongly accused man, or he's lying through his teeth. Either way it was getting me nowhere so I decided to do some snooping instead.

Only it's all gone wrong, I feel like such an idiot.

I tried to log into his bank account. But I got the password wrong (or he's changed it) and now it says account suspended!

Shit!

Is this temporary or will it still be suspended when he tries to log back into it?

FWIW I also bought a card reader but that didn't work .

I'm not willing to confront him (again) without some actual evidence this time - but perhaps this has forced the issue and I'll have to.

I'm at a loss - I don't know what to do.

You need to come clean and admit what you did, else you're as bad as him (lying).

I wouldn't lie about attempting to access his bank account - it'll probably become clear that you've done this (either he will realise, or he will get the bank to check out the security issue - he knows what's what with deceit) .

You need to tell him you were trying to access the account, but have a plausible reason - you were trying to balance household budgets and needed to establish how bill-splitting was working, for instance- and you believed you had his permission because you share passwords. And tbh, in a marriage, sharing of financial info is reasonable.

The background issues are another can of worms but you clearly don't want to rummage in there today. I agree with you about not wanting to create further lies though.

You need to tell him you were trying to access the account, but have a plausible reason - you were trying to balance household budgets and ...........

Inertia that's even more of a lie than just keeping quiet

Justforthisone - it's not really a lie though, the OP intended to check expenditure from the household bank accounts. She 's looking because she wants to look for evidence of infidelity, which she may or may not want to bring up. I don't think keeping quiet would be an option - he will figure out she has been looking, and inventing a hacking story is likely to rumbled too.

i wouldnt say anything unless he tackles you about it, and if he does i wouold tell him the truth and thats that really, towards the end of my marriage i began to look at my ex phone when he was in the shower and if he said anything i used to say yeah i ve had a look and if you werent so secretive and lied to me so much i wouldnt of done it, he had huge issues with porn and phoning sex lines and pictures of porn on phone and guess who was paying the bill and sorting out the finances every month!! ( my ex used to look at my phone all of the time and read my texts and then forget to tell me someone had messaged me, he was as nosey as they come but didnt like it if i did it back to him) anyway you done it now and so the least you can do is be honest,

Any news, did he notice? or did the thingy reset itself?