The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into Spring - BOING!!

[Mouseface]

Previous Thread

The One Before

And All Others Before That

So, this is The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

All are welcome, regardless of your background, stage of sobriety, or anything else.

I'm Mouse and have been here since June 2010, and in control of my drinking since August 2nd 2010.

You will find unconditional support here. Always.

Whatever you feel about drinking (or not), we've been in your shoes. Some more than once.

So, come say hi, come grab a seat. There is always an open door and a warm welcome on this Bus.

As you were mousie you did mean Indie just then .

www.woodiesdiner.com

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.almightydad.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/smiley-face.jpg&imgrefurl=www.almightydad.com/fitness-nutrition/gaining-holiday-weight-dont-let-it-get-you-down&h=1200&w=1200&sz=226&tbnid=BqoKe6gz24p-aM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsmiley%2Bface%2Bpictures&zoom=1&q=smiley+face+pictures&hl=en&usg=__nLTKtJvHeDos0E6PcNBHXUqpWsE=&sa=X&ei=H96ATfiGLsHOhAfqtqiWBw&sqi=2&ved=0CB0Q9QEwAQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.almightydad.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/smiley-face.jpg&imgrefurl=www.almightydad.com/fitness-nutrition/gaining-holiday-weight-dont-let-it-get-you-down&h=1200&w=1200&sz=226&tbnid=BqoKe6gz24p-aM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsmiley%2Bface%2Bpictures&zoom=1&q=smiley+face+pictures&hl=en&usg=__nLTKtJvHeDos0E6PcNBHXUqpWsE=&sa=X&ei=H96ATfiGLsHOhAfqtqiWBw&sqi=2&ved=0CB0Q9QEwAQ

What !!!!!!
I might have a lie down now !

I only wanted a smiley face !

at thurso

What the sweet Jeff is going on? Who can't do links?

I'm !

IsinDe - I heart you too. It's fab that you are back on the bus. Stay. xx

It's me! I can't do links.
Although I seemed to have managed a pretty bizarre one just now

Ha ha ha.... oh I really need a lie down now!

Love the smiley face thurso .

I'm up for a trip to the south coast tomorrow. It's foggy and cold here and the sea is flat and grey. I could do with the sight of some blue sky, and a chance to hang washing outside. I love the smell of washing that's been in the fresh air.

I've got lots of work and meetings and visitors and commitments all stacking up ahead of me, and it would be easy to let myself feel overwhelmed by it, and then when overwhelmed and tired to try and resolve that by 'relaxing' with a drink. So I'm going to face each task one at a time, and I'm going to enjoy having my friends to stay, and I'm going to go to bed early tonight and be kind to myself.

Good plan venus

Evening all.

It's now day 19 and tonight I will not be drinking. I have just eaten a big plate of cheese and biscuits (my absolute favouritest thing) for the first time since I gave up the booze. I was terrified I'd 'need' red wine with it, but I have battled through with a ginger beer and enjoyed it almost as much as I used to!

Thurso - hope your day has improved.

Mouse - the house situation sounds like a nightmare, I think that would drive me round the twist. the guy who owned our house before us did all the wiring, and one of our electrician friends refuses to come round because he is so convinced it's all going to go up in smoke at some time soon. not a good sign...

Zany - glad everything is going well with your new man. i'm impressed with your ability to cut down your drinking without giving up, have tried and failed with that approach so many times!

Isindie - so glad you're firmly ensconced on the bus again. you were so welcoming when I first posted

Spent some time last night and this morning thinking about what I posted last night about my alcohol-induced psychosis. It's something I've never really talked to anyone about, except the useless community mental health team counsellor. What happened still scares me so much and I think I might need to ramble on about it from time to time. It first happened when I had severe PND and took a rather hefty cocktail of painkillers and anti-depressants, on top of a skin-full of wine and vodka jellies. Ended up in hospital having a psychotic episode, which I can remember in graphic cringe-worthy detail. And ever since, if I really binge on alcohol (like 3 bottles of wine or similar - 'tis a huge amount for me), I get alcohol-induced psychosis. It's probably happened about 6 times now. My counsellor explained it by saying that the first incident caused something to 'come loose' in my mind, and it can never be properly repaired, so when I binge it triggers it all off again. I understand all this. What I don't understand is why it doesn't stop me from drinking like that. Ok, I only do it once every six months or so, but any one of these incidents could kill me I guess, if I didn't have the right people around me, or if my mind unravelled particularly badly. Fuck, when I write it down, it sounds so stupid - can't believe I've allowed myself to get into that situation again since the first occasion. Idiot.

Right, that's me done, just needed to write it all down.

Hope everyone has a safe and restful evening.

Btw, I second the 'bunch of loons' comment after this afternoon's antics on here

E xx

Gaaaah, sorry this is going to be me-me-me,

I had a right lovely afternoon, after chatting on here, got a really nice meal ready, just the two of us tonight. DH has just phoned half an hour after he is due in, to say he will be half an hour late . AM HAVING A RIGHT "I'LL SHOW YOU MOMENT"

thurso - is there any alcohol in the house? DON'T GO THERE IF SO!

Can you maybe go have a shower or bath whilst you wait for him.

I would have thought that he's as pissed off as you to be working later than expected?

I know it's a PITA but stay calm babe. Nice and calm. It's out of your control. Remember that.

Just carry on with something else xx

Ellie my sweetheart, x posted.

Well done on 19 days.

So brave of you to write about your past experiences. It may not be everyones experience, but we all wonder why we get ourselves into some sort of drink situation again, and again, and every time someone writes, I bet someone else identifies with it.

I think that something along the spectrum, from 0 to 10, if you like, has happened to everyone on here, and that's why we worry, and are trying to do something about it. We all help each other.
I know that writing stuff down helps me. ((especially now I've made the vow not to re-read, thanks Bafana))

Ellie - wow. We are very similar.

You won't stop binging until something seriously bad happens to you, like physically.

You know that on that one occasion when you ended up in hospital, you were safe there. You knew you'd be able to go home and be safe there too.

See what I'm saying? Unless you come to some serious physical harm (God forbid xx) you won't stop.

It's almost like you get away with it, albeit by the skin of your teeth but you do, don't you? You live to tell the tale.

So, what you have to do is change the way you compute that survival. Think of it as next time WILL be the last time.

Next time I WILL die or be seriously injured.

As grim as that is, it's the only way that you'll stop yourself from picking up. You have to believe that you are not imortal.

You have to have that fear, fear of failing, losing, dying, hurting.

Fear will keep it real. Well, it does for me. xx

Oh, and WELL DONE FOR PUTTING IT DOWN IN WORDS.

Mouse Bless you. Crisis over, I'm just a big old drama queen .
Writing on here takes the moment IYSWIM. Thanks xxx

You might be a 'big old drama queen' thurso but you are my 'big old drama queen' thank you very much.

Glad you are okay xx

Am ok, but

I forgot to say, DH, in his phone call "thought he would take the chance to work late as he didn't have to pick up DC!!!",
threw my dinner in the bin, cleared away my place setting, got out my laptop, and papers, and started working, after he came in .
Oh G, Bette Davis has got nothing on me !

thurso glad the crisis has past.

ellie really identify with everything you wrote, my alcoholic drinking started with a period of PND, and it just went from there, I could drink moderately for long periods of time, but would have real benders and blackouts on occasion that could potentially killed me or put my kids in really serious danger, but every time I got away with it.

It made me feel worthless and it was terribly damaging to my self esteem and confidence, and yet I continued to drink. I could never tell when these occasions would be, and I still drank. Stupid in hindsight (but isn't hindsight a wonderful thing)
The vicious circle just continued, until I realised that I was eventually going to kill myself (either falling down the stairs or some such equally stupid action).

I am so glad that I have managed to get off that merry go round of hell.

indie - think maybe you should rethink the brocolli and breastmilk - your DP might also move you into the loon category!! .

Hope everyone is safe and well

mouse how is the house this evening - asked with trepidation.
Is nemo's breathing and cold getting any better?

thurso - you daft old mare!

Lack of communication me thinks. Surprises may well be nice, but given what you two are like currently, you are going to have to speel it our for him.

Tell him you are cooking and why. If he says I'm working late, tell him he's not and why.

bafana - the house is bearable, for now! Nemo is really snuffly so will be in with me all night, DH has been promoted to a night off as he has loads of interviews to do now tomorrow so needs to be awake. Ideally.

He'll be grand, as will I. Playgroup in the morning if Nemo is well enough, usually a 1 day thing, and then I'm at my new hydro class.

Well, I say hydrotherapy, it's much more like bloody torture. The new guy is evil, pure evil!

Evening all

Nothing to add, but been reading and felt rude not to say hello.

Hey trist

Just killing time here until I can pick DS up from cubs. Hows you this evening