The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into Spring - BOING!!

[Mouseface]

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So, this is The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

All are welcome, regardless of your background, stage of sobriety, or anything else.

I'm Mouse and have been here since June 2010, and in control of my drinking since August 2nd 2010.

You will find unconditional support here. Always.

Whatever you feel about drinking (or not), we've been in your shoes. Some more than once.

So, come say hi, come grab a seat. There is always an open door and a warm welcome on this Bus.

BOO

oh hurrah!! the gangs back!

hey All

Bus has been very quiet over the last few days. thurso I can totally relate to what you are saying, I read what everyone has written, and I cannot for the live of me come up with an inspiring and thoughtful response (I'm thinking Venus and MILF here) so I don't say anything at all.

I just worry that if I just post what is going on in my head it will come across as self involved and unconstructive and unhelpful to other people, so I say nothing!!

I hope that you are all well

Am working from home today as DD is not well, so I had better get back to it!

Bafana
XXX

YAY!

IsinDe and Silver in one day

Hello you two, lovely to see you back on the bus. Here, have a hot chocolate and a {{{hug}}}

Hey bafana - sorry that DD is poorly. Huge hugs to you and her xx

ISINDIE HELLO (I don't normally shout, but I am so pleased to see you). Get your backside back on this bus - you sounded so bloody fantastic when you were 10, 12, 13.... days off the booze. I want that isindie back again, she's very funny.

Bafana if I ever 'try' to come up with a response that is inspiring and thoughtful, it ends up looking like prattish middle-class twaddle. So I often just prattle on about things that are in my head - even if they are self-involved, and likely to be unconstructive. But, because I too am an alcoholic, then I think that some of the things i say are the things that other people also have experienced, and sometimes that makes me sound wise and inspiring . Most of all, posting on here helps ME. It's a place I can go and read the thoughts of other people who are / have been in the same situation. Sometimes the posts make me desperately sad, sometimes I laugh out loud (as though I'm with some really good friends), sometimes there's no-one around and I even have to go and do some work . But I keep on coming back her, because it helps me.

Hey Indie really pleased to see you!

venus yea, that makes alot of sense, all some of the shite I seem to outpour at AA. does seem to be alot more relevant and real when I haven't spent half the meeting worrying about what I can say .

I need to stop rereading my own posts and deleting or re-editing them, but I am always second guessing myself - aren't we all! tis funny how even on a completely internet forum, where I am my most honest, not only with myself but with everyone else, I am still concerned about how people perceive me!! I am an alcoholic FFS, I done some truly shameful things, and yet I still want to be thought of well.

Right, not reading this back

Off to FIL for tea tonight and a new AA group that has opened, shall go and see what their biscuits are like .

B
XXX

hmm!, inspiring and thoughtful - not sure about that! , i have a fair old line in mis-spelt waffle though! im afraid thats the nearest to thoughtful and inspiring you'll get from me!

btw, nice to have you back isinidi!

Good afternoon brave ones!! Still not drinking, just lurking and felt the need to check in. Sending a flurry of virtual hugs to you all, keep on keeping on babes!! xxx

indie
aww shucks,

Hey MissP WELL DONE!

How long have you been sober for now? 5 months?

Isinde

No need to apologise - but how many more times do you feel you need to prove it to yourself? Did you take this much convincing as a child that apples fall off trees?

Incidentally, "even after 18 days off the booze I still had to go through my hellish first 3 days again" - that's going to be the case every single time you drink, I'm afraid - the same as, every time you fall off a bike onto gravel, it's going to hurt just as much, no matter how long you've been on that bike.

Really pleased it's already four days behind you. You honestly can do this.

Just back from work.
Isindie Silver Heloooo

Isindie it sounds like we have been doing the first sober days, and nights (again) on our own. But I do really need the support from this thread, and am so glad I posted. The third day is the one that gets me, when I have no work the next day, and just think I can (what? can ruin my day off ).

Bafana SO TRUE I always worry that I've sounded like a right prat (and I have, many times), and agonise over whether people on here like me (shame icon) but I write what I think, and it never sounds right
Hope DD is a bit better, have a good meeting.

On the news front DC is still waiting to hear from Edinburgh Uni so may be up someones way soon, if we're lucky!

theres nothing wrong with falling off the wagon, most of us have a fair few goes before hanging on. if only it was simple.

im finding reflection, reading and clear thinking are helping me at the moment. im very glad i work part time, i think that lessens the stress and therefore desire to drink. for now

at IsinDe

You know that he's right though, damn it.

Keep going rum - you are sounding very positive.

"Miflaw Havent you a halo to go and shove up your arse or something

I know
I - Kn-oh-ohW
I fucking know!"

No - I've got a list of about a dozen occasions when I've done exactly what you've just done - as in, I had started my attempt not to drink and I drank again.

By my reckoning, you've done it about half-a-dozen times.

I'm just trying to save you the other half-a-dozen - including the one where I walked, drunk, across a railway track in the middle of the night, with no idea whether the rail was live or not, so I could break into the station so I had somewhere to sleep until the first train back to my house; or the one where I went to an AA meeting in blackout (as in, I went back the following week and didn't realise I'd been before) and cried the whole way through (or so I am told) because the drink wasn't working any more.

HTH.

It's not critical parent, it's fellow sufferer.

The whole reason any of us are here, I thought, is that our version of rebellious child has very adult consequences.

The number of times I have drunk "to show someone" are beyond counting.

You can probably guess for yourself how often it "showed" them anything at all except, perhaps, what they already expected; and how many times the only person to suffer at all was me.

INDIE!!! Indie's back!
And Silver is here to drive the bus. And Thurso and Venus and Bafana and Mouse and...and...everyone
had the best part of a bottle last night and feel crap today so need to get my arse back into action