The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into Spring - BOING!!

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So, this is The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

All are welcome, regardless of your background, stage of sobriety, or anything else.

I'm Mouse and have been here since June 2010, and in control of my drinking since August 2nd 2010.

You will find unconditional support here. Always.

Whatever you feel about drinking (or not), we've been in your shoes. Some more than once.

So, come say hi, come grab a seat. There is always an open door and a warm welcome on this Bus.

Morning everyone - what a quiet day on here yesterday - is everyone OK?

My dp has stopped drinking for a while. I don't think he is a problem drinker (and not at all in comparison to me!) but he felt that he was getting into a habit of often relaxing with a glass or two of something, having a whiskey before bed (and then another one), and so he has decided to give up for a specified period.

He has found it surprisingly hard on occasion, and I have found it ironicaly amusing that my tips and techniques are being passed on to him: try eating something; do something about angry feelings - talk about them or go for a stompy walk; pick up the phone, or email and contact a friend; have a bath and go to bed; keep your hands busy; keep your mind occupied; find other things (non-alcoholic) that you really like to drink.... I hadn't realised how many of these had been assimilated into my life, and the new habits that I am forming to replace my drinking habit. I also think that dp has realised some of what I have gone through (although he has no real idea of how tough it has been for me).

Morning ma - a few drinks as in a couple of glasses, or a couple of shed loads? (you don't have to say). Glad to see you around, and you know that you CAN do it. Today if you want to, you can get through without a drink - you've done it on many days before. No need to worry about the rest of the week, or to put pressure on yourself about letting things slide - just do it for today. That's enough.

Morning all

Feeling very bright-eyed after a productive evening with nothing more than a cup of decaff tea

I've got a silly phrase stuck in my head, I think it's corruption of a WeightWatchers slogan or something, but it goes "nothing drinks as good as sober feels". Bit corny, but it is true (for me at least) - let's see how long I can stick with it!

Morning IsinDe

I am sure someone much more learned than I am will help with the maths, but to a novice, it sounds very positive that you didn't drink through the feeling shite, but instead stopped, poured it away...and haven't had any since.

Glad you've had some sleep (very much a minus quantity here, too) and are starting the week feeling brighter.

Morning.

Sorry I wasn't around at the weekend.

All is fine thanks thurso and Ma, just needed to give the bus a break. Not in a drinking sense, in a posting sense.

I don't want to feel like I'm posting the same old guff all the time. So, I lurked.

venus - I hope your parents are okay, it's so hard when they won't ask for help in case they 'put on you'.

My GMa has just bought a house nearer to my parents as she's on her own now. No other family so my father finally managed to talk her round.

Had a lovely weekend, baking pies, spending time with DD, and Nemo, taking the wolf for a walk to the castle, he's not too sure about ducks yet .

DH even cleaned the car no more wolf hair!

It's nice to see you Trist and well done Ruby!!!!

Ma - wedges are the dogs. I love wedges, they just don't love me dodgy hips and legs. I last about five minutes with a crutch, 2 without!

Right, more coffee. Oh and I've lost some more weight. Cutting out the booze and increasing my water intake really is the way forward.

Morning isindie - not surprising that you felt so tempted at the end of such a busy time (and so continuously tired too). How wonderful that your dp recognised your exhaustion (even though she must be in a similar place). I bet that your sleep did you a million times more good that even a glass of the finest wine could.

And best of all, you didn't use your experience on Friday as an excuse for trying another bottle of wine on Saturday or on Sunday.

I think that a long time ago, MIFLAW said something alongs the lines of.... "today, the person who has been sober the longest, is the person who got up earliest". We are all on this together, so whether it is day 16 or day 3 (or day 163), it is TODAY, and that is good enough.

Sorry, Venus, that almost definitely wasn't me, as I never use that expression. I personally think that continuous sobriety counts for a lot because it's proof it can be done and it's the people who have been sober for longer than me who give me hope that I can keep going.

It IS said a lot in AA, though, and it does contain a certain truth, in that yesterday won't keep you sober, it's today that really counts.

Incidentally, for me, I count my sobriety in terms of consecutive days completely free of alcohol (though if, for example, anyone ever spiked me, I wouldn't count that as a drink, because it wouldn't be my doing) - for example, before my current period of sobriety, I had six months' continuous sobriety. For me, that was broken as soon as I took the first sip of the first drink (Merlot, large, Herne Bay Wetherspoons, Friday 13 December 2002) - my current sobriety dates from the last drink in that bout (Stella Artois, fourth can of six, rest thrown away, my mum's kitchen, Herne Bay, Monday 16 December 2002). So, in Inde's place, I would consider myself on day 3 - but agreeing with Venus in that what really matters is today, because if I drink today, everything previous cannot save me from the second, the third and the fourth - I'd be back in the world of Russian roulette.

Incidentally, one of the many joys of sobriety is that I no longer have to live in Herne Bay.

Oops - sorry for misquoting you MIF. I suppose I liked that quote because I dislike the competative sobriety that I have seen in some places, where people who have been sober longer are perceived as being 'better' than people who are more recently sober (whether that be 7 days or 7 months!), and especially at the beginning I found it easier to relate to someone who was just a few days a ahead of me - they gave me hope and optimism that maybe I could do it too, rather than someone sober for ages (what they'd done looked pretty much like having given up for ever, rather than 'just for today' and in my newly sober and craving state I found their sobriety unattainable).

None of this is an argument with your points, just how I interpret things to help keep ME sober

Never been to Herne Bay, so I looked for pictures on the computer. It all looked rather nice, and then I found this picture which looks like a load of people chucking up on the beach after a heavy night out

Those are people who have tried to escape and have been recaptured. They are tilling the salt pans with their bare hands as punishment.

The only time I see people in Herne Bay who are both smiling and sober is in an AA meeting.

no offence taken - and, FWIW, I absolutely agree that it can be easier to relate to someone who's only a few days ahead.

But obviously, if people go round saying, "I'm 24 hours sober" you can't TELL if they're a few days ahead, 25 years ahead, or even a fellow newcomer.

I dislike competitive sobriety too - though I would be lying if I said I had never played that game in my head where no one can hear.

hi everyone - just back from breast clinic, dd has had cyst drained! everyting ok!

back later!

Really please to hear it JWN, bet your all feeling relieved

JWN that's very good news! Excellent. have a daffodil to celebrate

afternoon everyone

been looking for advice/support arond giving up alcohol, and this thread looks good, some posters have similar stories to mine. i have drank since early teens and function very well. but it's a constant source of anxiety and my partner is unhappy with it. and i want to stop, just havent managed it, yet. it's a war.

i come from a heavy drinking but functioning [mostly) family. and drink is everywhere in our society, isnt it? ive been reading allan carr's book as his smoking one helped me stop smoking [after 30 years]. also beauchamp colclough's, both of which i find useful but probably now need some human interaction. so here i am. it's physical but mainly psychological for me. I dont see it as an illness which is why i havent considered AA.

last drink was 2 nights ago, would like it to be the last ever

Rumred

Welcome aboard.

Can I ask you something about your illness statement? Are you willing to consider the view that, whether or not you see alcoholism as an illness, it certainly acts like a (mental) illness, in that an individual who is rational in every other respect (I am assuming) has a serious, distoring and persisten blind spot in one area of life that has so far been resistant to any application of logic or even good common sense?

The only reason I ask is that, not only would this allow you to reconsider AA, which you might find useful; but that, especially if you still do NOT want to go to AA, then it might save you from several difficult, painful and dangerous dead ends of attempting to apply logic to what you describe yourself as a "war" against something which, logically, should present no problem at all.

This is just my view and I mean no offence, but would be genuinely interested in hearing what you think.

Welcome Rumred you've come to the right place for support. I think if people around you drink heavily then it is easy to 'normalise' it. Personally for me the fact that I feel alot of guilt and anxiety over drinking then that isn't normal.

Today I won't be drinking

Hope everyone else is OK. I am feeling much calmer and happier after my insecurities over the weekend - thanks guys for being there. Eventually spoke to abusive XP as I felt I needed to to have some closure and it worked. My plan this week os to not drink in the week and sort out my morgage and paperwork.

Mouse is Red OK still

Afternoon babes, hope evryone had a lovely weekend!

JWN great news about your dd, am really pleased for you!

Has anyone seen or heard of bafana? I think she was having a tough time and hasn't posted lately, hope she is ok.

Hi rumred glad you found us over here.

It is interesting, I thought that I was high functioning alcoholic - wasn't a down and out, had a good career, was 'respectable' in the community. However I have come to see that some of it was an illusion - I had got so used to being always at least a little hungover that I'd stopped noticing it. I do notice now that I function much better - more enthusiastic, remember things better, more energy, and fewer things to apologise for. I also can see that although I had not massively cocked up any area of my life, I had come perilously close.

I have now come to believe that 'functional alcoholic' was a convenient label for me to excuse what I was doing, to bury my head in the sand, and to ignore the risks I was taking. I have re-labelled myself as an alcoholic who was good at pulling the wool over other people's eyes and deluding myself .

I am not at all implying that this is what is happening in your case - just reflecting on my own experience. What happened 2 nights ago? (you don't have to tell us) - was it a particularly bad one, or have you just wokrn up on a spring morning and decided that life could be better without alcohol? Welcome anyway.

Zany - yep, she's good last I spoke to her.

JWN - fantastic news for DD, I'm so pleased. Huge hugs to you both xxxx

Hey rumred

JWN - I haven't been around to have been following in detail, but I'm so glad it's good news.

Hello Rumred. I'm too new to have any words of wisdom, but I could have written venus' post to the letter. I just have to consistently stop drinking now...

You've hit the nail on the head Venus in that I don't see myself as being an alcoholic problem drinker as I function OK, have a full/part time job, cook kids lovely healthy dinners, look after friends/dog etc, never taken time off for a hungover but I am pretty sure that if I didn't drink at least in the week to start with then I would possibly funtion brilliantly instead of just OK. Hoping to test the theory out this week.

thank you for all your comments.

i try to keep an open mind but i do think alcohol is a tricky one, a symptom perhaps rather than a cause. im happy to debate it because lets face it, none of us here or in the wider world has the answer. im swayed by the school of thought that everyone is addicted to a greater or lesser extent to alcohol- or why bother drinking it?

i do get that my functioning is limited, im not deluding myself, i just do get by and do ok. i realise that i can do better and thats why im trying to stop.

other night friends were round and i drank about a bottle of wine. now that i watch what i do rather than just do, i can see how shit it is and how it controls me- or i let it.

i hope everyone is managing well at the moment