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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

thinking of cutting my wrists

132 replies

onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:05

or some other way of ending it all

OP posts:
Original poster
onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:14

don't fit it anywhere, and no one likes me

OP posts:
loflo · 26/02/2011 21:16

You must be feeling really low onelast. Can you get to a phone to speak to the samaratins?

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 26/02/2011 21:16

Call the Samaritans. You need real life, real time help and advice.

PonceyMcPonce · 26/02/2011 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheerfulMe · 26/02/2011 21:16

onelast, I sometimes feel like you do. I also have a son, and he is a FANTASTIC reason for sticking around. Please don't hurt yourself but stay on here and talk to us instead until these feelings pass - and they will.

loflo · 26/02/2011 21:18

Or have a look here www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk/bspace/controller?p_service=Content.show&p_applic=CCC&pContentID=190&pMenuID=111&pElementID=115. They also have a number you can contact.

FourFortyFour · 26/02/2011 21:18

Your son would not be better off without you.

I have been where you are and it is a lonely place to be.

If your husband is the problem then talk to someone, see if it can be resolved. If not think about whether you can carry on like this and if not put things in motion for a separation. No man is worth denying your child a mum for.

Tsil · 26/02/2011 21:18

I'm sure your DH doesn't not plan things on purpose some men are just not that way inclined. Try and concentrate on the good things he does and above all ring the Samaritans or call someone you can talk to.

Your family love and need you.

Original poster
onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:19

i wish he'd come upstairs

OP posts:
Original poster
onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:20

he must have heard me crying and is just staying away

OP posts:
loflo · 26/02/2011 21:20

could you go to him?

mylovelymonster · 26/02/2011 21:20

You are the world and stars to your little boy. He would never be better off without you, never. Call the samaritans. Talk to someone. Life is s**t quite a lot of the time, but then sometimes it's wonderful. Please don't give up x

Original poster
onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:23

i've tired twice and he told me the evening wa over and to go away

OP posts:
kangers · 26/02/2011 21:23

HI
Sounds to me like like you feel hopeless and let down. But the fact he has attended counselling sounds like it could be a positive too. You have a son, and h helped in that way (I'm guessing). I am just trying to help with perspective.
My h is head up his arse all the time, after many years (24 in total) I have accepted his lack of planning and consideration of me and out kids. I don't mean I am a doormat, I've just focussed on other things he does do and is good at. Its not easy and is really frustrating though.
But please stick with it and see that there may be a way through.
If not, there will be a way out- but never the death route- what would ds do?
please ring samaritans as other posters advise.
Love to you

FourFortyFour · 26/02/2011 21:24

What do YOU want to do?

loflo · 26/02/2011 21:25

do you just want to stay on here and chat to us then? How old is your little boy?

Original poster
onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:25

thanks everyone. Now i'm feeling worse as i knw he's heard me crying ( i ust heard him cough) and he's done nothing

OP posts:
Booer1 · 26/02/2011 21:25

STOP THIS NOW. Your son would DEFINATELY NOT be better off without you. He needs you. Get help. You owe it to yourself and your son. Just stop this train of thought.

Original poster
onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:26

he's 4 and totally adorable

OP posts:
issey6cats · 26/02/2011 21:27

if this is serious please dont do it my dad commited suicide when i was nine years old and to this day i never knew why he didnt love me and my brother enough to not kill himself and beleive me my dad was a great dad and i idolised him and it has had a huge impact on my life and the way i lived it

Original poster
onelastchance · 26/02/2011 21:27

thanks, i'll try once more ot talk to him..

OP posts:
NimpyWindowmash · 26/02/2011 21:27

Could you go and sit near your DS room and feel close to him?

loflo · 26/02/2011 21:27

Aw 4 is a great age!!Mine is 7 and its all about JLS and hormones!! What does your wee one like?

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 26/02/2011 21:28

He sounds like someone you would be well rid of, I bet if you got rid of him your life would improve immensely, including making new friends.

This place is actually a good place to meet friends, when you are ready there's always someone nearby who would like to meet up for a coffee.

There are people on here who lost their parents as children, some who lost them to suicide - they will tell you just how awful that was :(

Your son loves you, he needs you and he wants you - let that be the light that gets you through.
x

CheerfulMe · 26/02/2011 21:29

It sounds like you're really sad that he's not there for you when you need him to be - that must be upsetting. But even if your husband is not being as supportive as you'd like, there are other sources of support available (The Samaritans, us lot on here) to you, and reasons to feel happy or at least okay that do not involve him. Try and remember that - I know it's hard when everything feels dark, but there will be better days ahead, and if you give up now you'll never get a chance to see how good they might be.
Things will get better.