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would you / do you have sex with babies/toddlers in the room?

129 replies

Catflap · 17/10/2005 20:36

Am new to this board (usually partake in the Education threads but still just lurking everywhere else...), but would really like some thoughts and experiences on this one.

I know curcumstances can be tricky, but how common is it for mummy and daddy to be engaged in a bit of day time frolics while the 8month -> 18 month old is wandering around in the room and around the edge of the bed?

How much do they see/hear and how much do you think is appropriate?

Thanks for your views!

OP posts:
nutcackle · 17/10/2005 20:37

Erm well i don't think it is appropriate unless they are in the room but asleep.

jessicaandbumpsmummy · 17/10/2005 20:37

Tried once with Jess in the room - she was about 5 months old - just couldnt do it!

Now if we want daytime frolicks - Jess goes into her cot to play for 10 minutes! Doesnt happen very often, we tend to wait til she is down for the night.

lockets · 17/10/2005 20:37

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blueteddy · 17/10/2005 20:38

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blueteddy · 17/10/2005 20:39

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kama · 17/10/2005 20:39

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vickiyumyum · 17/10/2005 20:40

only whilst baby was asleep in cot near the bed, never when awake.

know of friends who have had sex in the same bed whilst their dd was in the bed aslepp next to them!

RottenRhubarb · 17/10/2005 20:41

I felt horrible having sex whilst pregnant cause it felt as though someone else was there!

An absolute NO! An 18month old will start to copy which could lead to potentially embarrassing situations. I once knew two little boys who would play at mummy daddy, they lay on top of one another and did thrusting motions!!!!

ThomBat · 17/10/2005 20:41

While they were wondering round the edge of the bed! Errrrr no, no way. i'm all up for sex, love it, never been known to refuse, always up for instigating and so on, but while my toddler was awake toddling round the bed, ewwwwwwwwwwwww, no way.
How is that enjoyable sex? It's not. No, no, no!

zippitippitoes · 17/10/2005 20:42

wandering around the room I think it would be a bad experience for everyone, I think a tiny baby asleep ok but an 18 month old at the edge of the bed definitely not

ThomBat · 17/10/2005 20:42

That's what Disney DVDs are invented for, and thank God for them!

hunkerpumpkin · 17/10/2005 20:42

My 18mo DS would want to play boo with me. I hardly think that's conducive to passion!

frannykenstein · 17/10/2005 20:44

I don't actually think there is anything wrong with it, any more than having a poo in front of them. I think we are all much too hung up about it. In the past people all used to sleep in a big family bed and children would have naturally seen / heard whatever went on.

However, I include myself in the too hung up crew. We do co-sleep with ds, but have never got up to anything interesting while he is awake. It just 'feels' wrong, as we have been brought up with sex as this terribly private and naughty thing.

triceratops · 17/10/2005 20:44

Have had sex with ds in the room asleep hundreds of times (would probably be celebate otherwise). Wouldn't have minded him being awake when he was small (under 18 months) if he didn't demand attention and interrupt.

He now (age 3) has a tendancy to walk in on our Sunday morning lie in with killer timing if we are not ultra careful. Last time he announced that Daddy was squashing mummy and he jumped into bed, pushed daddy to one side and sat on me. It was at this point that I decided to go and get a lock for the bedroom door.

bee3 · 17/10/2005 20:44

We certainly did while ds was still sleeping in a crib in our room (v quietly I hasten to add), but that was only until he was about 5 months.

Since then I wouldn't dream of having sex with him wandering around. Eewww horrible thought. I'm put right off just hearing him mumble in his sleep (on the monitor) - lose my concentration completely

lockets · 17/10/2005 20:46

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RottenRhubarb · 17/10/2005 20:47

There's open-ness and there's grossness, imo this constitutes grossness. The only reason people used to have sex in the same room as their kids was because there was no bloody choice!

I wouldn't even do a poo in front of my kids. It's bad manners imo. If sex is very natural, why not do it wherever and whenever you feel like it?

zippitippitoes · 17/10/2005 20:48

I don't think parents with lots of kids and few rooms were probably that much more upfront to be honest, just had less access to contraception

frannykenstein · 17/10/2005 20:48

Because I've been brought up not to, Rhubarb.

Try telling my ds it's bad manners for me to have a poo in front of him, please. I'd like to have one in peace again one of these years....

NotQuiteCockney · 17/10/2005 20:50

How on earth do you keep from having a poo in front of your kids? I'd love to never do that, but how would that work? (I would rather have a poo with a kid in the room, than have a poo with a kid screaming and banging on the bathroom door.)

That being said, I have to poo. I can wait, for sex. I think I've done it with an asleep baby in the room, I know I haven't with an awake baby or child in the room.

ThomBat · 17/10/2005 20:50

Even if you think there's nothing wrong with it, it's hardly nice sex is it, I mean you can't have fun and go for it even a litttle bit, or that really is wrong, wrong, wrong. Why would you not be able to put them in their own cot, even if they share your room, go into the bathroom or use the sofa, or put him or her in front of a DVD and then indulge, away from inquisitive little people?

zippitippitoes · 17/10/2005 20:51

if you want a poo stick him in his cot or pushchair and if he is older lock the door

Catflap · 17/10/2005 20:52

thanks everyone so far - i agree with all sentiments so far; and so feel a bit more normal and reassured. Caused a bit of a disagreement earlier, that's all...!

OP posts:
ThomBat · 17/10/2005 20:53

i poo in front of Lottie, blimey she pushes open the door and comes in and esp as she gets scared having a poo there's no way in this world I'd tell her to get out. I don't ectively ivite her in but if she comes in then that's fine.

Catflap · 17/10/2005 20:53

(the poo comments really made me laugh - my dd is 15 months and I relish going to the loo in the evenings when I can do it in peace. Thing is, only ever need a poo in the morning....! lol)

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