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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

would you / do you have sex with babies/toddlers in the room?

129 replies

Catflap · 17/10/2005 20:36

Am new to this board (usually partake in the Education threads but still just lurking everywhere else...), but would really like some thoughts and experiences on this one.

I know curcumstances can be tricky, but how common is it for mummy and daddy to be engaged in a bit of day time frolics while the 8month -> 18 month old is wandering around in the room and around the edge of the bed?

How much do they see/hear and how much do you think is appropriate?

Thanks for your views!

OP posts:
ThomBat · 17/10/2005 21:37

LOL!

stitch · 17/10/2005 21:38

if you go to the toilet, then LOCK the door.

sex with child in room is just amajor turn off for me. which i s why i moved babies into their own rooms as soon as possible.

moondog · 17/10/2005 21:39

Spider,that's really bad news about your mum having a poo when you're in the bathroom!

I'd have to say something!

rummum · 17/10/2005 21:40

Call me old fashioned but I could never have done the business with an 18 month old wandering arround the room... pleaseeeeeeeee

I could probably do a poo in front of anyone though....

JoolsToo · 17/10/2005 21:40

I have pee'd over the hills of England - pooing is another 'matter' entirely!

blossom2 · 17/10/2005 21:40

that would be a NO!

rummum · 17/10/2005 21:42

..... actually thinking about it now,I could only poo in front of just hubby and the kids .....

Bozza · 17/10/2005 21:44

I'm surprised that so many of you are uptight about having a poo in front of your children. My DD even pulls up the step (used for DS to reach the basin) and sits on it to have a good view. Then when I reach for the loo roll she has to have a piece to wipe her nose with. Sorry, I know, TMI. Wouldn't have sex with them in the room awake, although have been known to have a bit of a fondle under the covers in those circumstances. Also Thomcat I think you are overestimating the power of a DVD for such a young child. DD (17 months) will go off and play with DS on a weekend morning but returns at regular intervals to check up on us.

hunkerpumpkin · 17/10/2005 21:44

There was already a huncamunca on here Well, the name was taken - never seen them! Much like Twiglett and Twiglet!

doormat · 17/10/2005 21:45

Me personally I wouldnt have nooks in front of a child of any age.

spidermama · 17/10/2005 21:49

I wouldn't poo in front of my dh.

Bugsy2 · 17/10/2005 21:53

Not while any child was awake and nearby, but sound asleep & in the same room - Yes. Went on quite a few holidays where we were all sharing a room and once they were sparko - then what difference does it make? Although, I'm not sure what cut off point I would have. Older children can pretend to be asleep and that would be yukky.
Hate going to the loo in front of my children and always lie about doing a poo - just say it is a wee. Ridiculous really. However, would never, ever wee or poo infront of boyfriend, husband, lover etc. Would rather burst!!!!

moondog · 17/10/2005 21:57

Wot,are there two twigletts??!!

hunkerpumpkin · 17/10/2005 22:17

No, just the name Twiglet had gone, as had huncamunca. Weird!

weesaidie · 17/10/2005 22:18

Well I couldn't for similar reasons as hunker, my dd would be climbing on us, jabbering away and so on. Not very sexy really!

spidermama · 17/10/2005 22:21

I wanted to be Hecate for halloween but the name had gone. Where is she now?????

Bouj · 17/10/2005 23:34

Yuk, could just imagine ds saying 'Mama, what you doing?' or worse 'Mama, what Daddy doing?' I STILL remember walking in on my parents having a shower together when I was about 6, and asking what they were doing. Told some crap about how hard it is to wash your own back.... Got a 'where babies come from' book shortly after..

QueenVictoria · 17/10/2005 23:44

Not while they were awake we wouldnt.

DS is still in our room now but we never if he is awake. Had a "funny" conversation at the weekend with DP as DS was awake but in another room in his baby walker so could have 'rolled' in at any time. We didnt indulge in the end thank god!

Have no issues with poo or toilet in front of DD, DS or DP though.

matthewsmummy · 18/10/2005 14:35

while ds is a baby i will, he's 4 mhs now and have prob done it about 3-4 times with him in the room sometimes awake. but i think once their able to talk and walk then no way thats too much

PrettyCandles · 18/10/2005 14:42

I couldn't make love with a child in the room even when they were a few months old and fast asleep. Just too inhibiting! But I certainly would kiss and cuddle and get intimate in front of them - not go as far as 'heavy petting' though. It's good for children to see that Mum and Dad adore and enjoy each other.

And as for pooing and weeing - how will you teach a child to use the toilet if you won't show them? How can you keep them out?!

But I draw the line during periods. When I feel they're ready to understand (ie when I'm ready to explain) then I'll let them see what goes on.

NettiSulvetti · 18/10/2005 15:18

I should have done that too Pretty Candles! Now I'm stuck with ds saying "mummy has nappies too" and "the paper tube goes in your bottom"....great. Just waiting for him to make his pronouncements at nursery!

I also draw the line at sex if the toddler is
in the room asleep or awake. Would hate for ds to wake up in the middle of anything. When he was a baby it did seem ok though.

tegan · 18/10/2005 15:40

I have a huge problem with getting it on with a baby sleeping in the room hence both my girls were in their own rooms at 8 weeks old.

tortoiseshell · 18/10/2005 15:43

I think SS take a dim view of it, especially at that age - a friend of mine had to do a questionnaire for them, and it was all 'have they seen sexual acts etc'

Lizzylou · 18/10/2005 15:44

I agree, tegan, Ds was in his own room at 8 weeks...mainly because he had outgrown his moses basket but also because we had started to feel "ready" again

mashup · 18/10/2005 16:02

Having sex while an 18 month old is wandering around the room is technically classed as sexual abuse. The thought of it makes me shudder