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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would this be acceptable to you ?

165 replies

joanne34 · 19/02/2011 10:03

Would it be okay for your DP to escort a woman home in a cab because she was so drunk she couldnt walk and all her friends had buggered off ???

OP posts:
GrendelsMum · 19/02/2011 18:38

I'd agree with BooyFuckingHoo - my DH would certainly see a vulnerable woman home and pay for the taxi himself, and if he was drunk himself, he then might be daft enough to get on his bike and cycle slowly home. (He actually did do something very similar a couple of years ago at an office party.)

noddyholder · 19/02/2011 18:38

Why didn't he just lend her the money for a cab then?She managed to walk a fair bit before she 'needed' a cab.When I first read the post I assumed it was someone blotto unable to sort their journey themselves but they were obviously attempting to get a train so she could have got a cab?She also could have taken money out and paid it herself.When anyone drops me off drunk or not they wait until I am in the door and then off.

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 18:40

noddy the taxi driver wouldn't take her alone as she was so drunk.

StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2011 18:41

agree with PeterAndre - phone her
it isn't as though you don't need the money
(we'd be the same)

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 18:42

Yes so drunk she managed to escort someone else to the train station who was worse for wear and walk a fair way Hmm okkkkkk then.

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 18:43

i also have a friend who gets really badly drunk. she is capable of walking and findinga taxi but i have shared the taxi home with her a few times. teh first time i had never been to her house and didn't know where it was. she couldn't tell us either once we were in her area and i had to phone her DH from her mobile to ask for the address. i really worry about her.

noddyholder · 19/02/2011 18:44

She walked for an hour and 10 mins though so she wasn't legless

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 18:46

Someone who walks that far, playing the responsible party and seeing someone onto a train is not wasted to the point they need seeing indoors and up to the bedroom.......

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 18:47

Also the more you walk, especially in the cold the quicker alcohol burns off. So it dosent add up. That's basic science, google it, it's true.

NancyDrewHadaClue · 19/02/2011 18:49

The only odd thing is the "carrying to bed", but OP you don't seem clear whether he actually did say that and frankly it is a fairly ambiguous statement: If I say I had to carry my sis to bed last night (which I have said/done in the past) what I actually mean is that I hauled her dead weight arse up the stairs and flung her in her room Grin

I have also certainly been sober - ish enough walking but having spent 30 mins in a warm cab revert to incapable to walk.

Seriously unless your DP has form I can't see the problem. The timings and the money add up and I would have big problems with any man who left a girl who had been refused a taxi to make their own way home.

joanne34 · 19/02/2011 18:56

yes he said he carried her to the bedroom, he looks bewildered as to why im asking....

This thread is making me confused.

Now ive gone and texted dps female work colleague to ask if she knows how he got home ! What am i doing !

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 19/02/2011 19:00

A woman that can walk that far after drinking does not need to be carried to bed.

Tbh she doesn't even sound wrecked enough to warrant someone else getting a taxi with her.

emmyloopsyloo · 19/02/2011 19:14

So he did, does he not get how inappropriate that is? Why not put her on the sofa if she was sooooooo shitfaced she needed seeing in?

The woman he described and the story he tells is not of a woman who needs carrying to her bedroom. Somethings not right is it?

Something stinks to high heaven and no I wouldn't believe it. It's totally wrong and you have every right to be livid.

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 20:10

you ok, joanne ?

joanne34 · 19/02/2011 20:17

yes. I believe him. Maybe some of the stuff he did was a little inappropriate and he now knows, but this was nothing other than how it was originally typed.

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 20:27

ok joanne, I hope you get your 50 quid back Smile

what was the reply to the text you sent, btw ?

beingsetup · 19/02/2011 20:40

What a gent! If only more were like him? Think about the possibilities.....

If I were you I would give him a hug for being a decent human being...

hellymelly · 19/02/2011 20:45

I would expect my DH to do that,I know he would.He gave a lift home recently to a woman we know slightly when she he bumped into her in another town.I am glad he does kind things like this.He has close female friends from school and is close to his sister and I wouldn't be worried at all about him helping a woman in trouble.I haven't read through the whole thread,but a few post above I can see something about him "carrying her to bed"? That is the only thing that sounds a bit unusual to me,because although it seems sensible it could be misconstrued,and a man looking out for a very drunk woman would be careful not to do anything at all suspect I would think.

joanne34 · 19/02/2011 20:46

peter

the colleague just said she got walked to the station, and then dp and friend left her there. She also sounded like it was nothing more than a cab home. :)

Anyway, im off to bed pronto...

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 19/02/2011 20:51

So she wasn't deserted by friends after all? She actually walked someone else to the station?

joanne34 · 19/02/2011 20:55

a different station heading east, not southwest. (london)

Dp was quite drunk too, I didnt realise when i spoke to him last night, he has been suffereing with a hangovr all day.

OP posts:
AgeingGrace · 19/02/2011 20:56

Having racked my brains over the hundreds of times colleagues and I have helped each other home when drunk - yes, I have sometimes put them to bed and they've sometimes done the same for me. Shoes off, glass of water and some neurofen by the bed :)

It seems pointless to fret about how far she walked, how long it took, etc. People react to alcohol differently, plus you never know if she'd taken a little something extra before leaving the party.

Glad you're feeling OK about it now, OP!

CameronCook · 19/02/2011 21:42

If she lives in a flat then bedroom could have been first door after he got in hence automatically dropping her on the bed?

christmaswishes · 20/02/2011 02:07

Hi,

I understand that you wouuldnt want to leave a woman on her own who was out of it. I agree.

But the story really doesn't add up.
Firstly she was fine to walk for a bit to the station so not legless. if he got a taxi with her she could have paid her share if she could walk to the station whIch makes me think maybe she didn't need to get a taxi with him afterall.
If I was dropping somebody off I would say to taxi guy wait a nminute whilst I just see her in, unlock door, then i would leave her their and get back in taxi and get the taxi driver to drive me home - it doesn't add up here either because if it was raining noone would want to cycle 10 miles and seen as he was forking out so much money he would have got taxi to take him home .

Also why would anyone take someone to a bedroom? If you fancied them yes but if you were doing a kind deed they would just go on sofa if they couldn't stand but then you said she could walk to station so by the time they got home she would have been sober enough for her to let herself in anyway so he wouldn't have needed to go in the house.

All of this points to he got a taxi back with her she probably paid towards it. Then he stayed their with her for a few hours then got a taxi bk to your home which again she probably gave hin money towards I'd she liked him. Also to validate his story about cycling home in the rain he probably just got the taxi man on his way home from hers to drop him a few streets down so he had time to get a bit wet. It is also possible that he could have stood out in the rain for a while so he could say he cycled 10 miles in the rain. I mean come on who cycles pissed 10 miles in the rain at silly hours of the morning when they can have a nice warm taxi.

I don't buy it I'm afraid. He's so full of crap. He has had to think of something to tell you why he's back late.

Sorry but I think he's lying.

christmaswishes · 20/02/2011 02:17

I don't think she was as drunk as he made out. Yes had some but it is an excuse. I think he did want to go bk with her. Maybe nothing happened but he definitely spent a few hours their before getting his taxi home. I still think he liked her but whether she turned him down or he might have not gone further because of you. Who knows?

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