The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

Thanks Mouse

Hello all,

You haven't missed me Mrs Mousieface , just came on now, and was so pleased that you thought about me.

I have had a really good and productive day, done tons of college work, even taught myself how to do tables on "word". Very sad, I know, but in the past I have only had to "talk" my job (and do some throwing around the room!(brain gym)).

Ma I really feel for you, and am in the same place. DH's brother phoned for an hour this afternoon, because he had to "offload" about how he felt about the earthquake in NZ (he lives there), then my sister texted until about 9.30 because she is worried about her son, and would I speak to him?

After dinner, when DC had gone up to revise, DH put the television on, and hasn't spoken to me since!!!
I was great until about half an hour after they came home, then despondency has set in.

Deep joy

Hey thurso sorry you are so lonely even with a full house xx

Daisy - I'm 36 so not so far away from you? I was teaasing you x

Off up to bed to watch Question Time.

I know Mouse X

Night night babes!

Daisy - see that in itself says to me 'past it'

I knew my party nights were over once DH and I started sitting down to watch the news at ten on BBC1.

Night all, sleep well.

Ma and thurso special sleep well wishes coming your way xx

Morning lovely BBs. Mum's operation went to plan yesterday and she sounds pretty good. I can't go down because DD is poorly, very frustrating. A worrying time but definitely a serenity prayer day - I can't change DD being ill.

noteven glad your mum pulled through
mouse thank you so much for your post. it IS emotionally abusive and very controlling. he uses his poor mental health and depression as ar eason for not being able to cope without me. Now I am the one depressed, he has switched off. I can't afford to leave and neither can he, there is nowhere to go. I can't leave the kids with him as he wouldn't care for them properly - he would just give up. I know this from experience.
When the time is right......
for now, I am trying to carve out moments for myself here and there and this bus is one of them
thank you all for your support
Day 8 - a new world record!

MOrning everyone

Well suprise surprise I do feel a bit rough this morning but when I was out I was drinking medium and then small glass's of wine instead of my usual large so small steps in the right direction I guess.

Thank you for your kind words about my Uncle, he is going to be so so so missed.

Had a huge talk with date guy and oh my god I think I might possibly be in love. He is just so lovely. He bought my favourite chocs to cheer me up, downloaded my favourite singer (or should I say the guy I stalk if I see him in concert) for me to listen to when I am at his flat. Feeling a bit scared after my last relationship but I trust this new guys even after onlya short space of time.

I mean guy not guys. Only dating the one man.

Mouse have you heard from Red is she OK

day 3

Ma - One Day At A Time. Whatever it takes okay? xx

Zany - Yes, she's back at work but mad busy! Sends her love as always xx

Hi all
Thanks Candy for sharing your story. How are you?

Zany so sorry to hear about your uncle. Thinking of you.

Ma you are having such a shitty time. You do need to think about yourself and what's best for you.

Zany

Well done on cutting down on the size of glass, but it does sound like you still drank more than the "couple" you said you were going to have.

I don't know about you, but for me this is exactly what the top of the slippery slope was like. Control isn't control if you have to change the parameters within hours of setting them!

Glad nothing bad happened though.

Very true MIFLAW I did have more than I had planned, hoped no one would notice. I would definately feel less guilt if I had managed to stick to just a couple. Wine seems to be my vice in that I can drink it far too quickly.

No offense taken Indie. He likes a drink but isn't a heavy drinker and has driven a couple of times we have been out. I am making a bit of a concious effort to stay away from heavy drinkers (pot calling kettle I know) so that I can't 'normalise' how much I drink. I know what you mean though about wine-radar as I had had too much one night when I met him but I have met up just for coffee a couple of times and feel he same. Well done on day 8 - what physical benefits are you feeling.

Been reading some of the FB comments from my family about my Uncle, not a good idea to do at work, luckily I am the only one in my office at the moment. One of my cousins son's in his early 20's put 'You make me feel proud to be a (family surname) and I will not let you down...

Zany

Just out of interest, what is it you are afraid (in the very broadest sense of that word) will happen if, rather than stick to a couple, you don't have any at all? Why would abstinence spoil your evening?

isindie we'll get through Day 8 together. Dread weekend coming up - I will not project, I will not project.....
Hi to everyone else

"hoped no one would notice" - you are DEFINITELY in the wrong place for that!

Hey All

Trying to work unsuccessfully head is not wanting to be here at all. That said only another 2.5 hours and then it's the weekend

TWDA well done, day 3 is a hard one, don't give into the temptation of treating yourself with wine, coz you have managed two days without it. Choccies, smellies, good book, find something you like, and spend the money you would have spent on that.

ma so sorry that things are so shit , I totally get it, it's now three months since exdp and I separated, which is how I ended up on the bus, it would have been so easy to seek solace with my good friend alcohol, but it wouldn't have made anything any better. When he has totally p"£sed me off, and I am tempted to lift the first glass, I remind myself, that after all I have done for me, why would I let his actions affect my own, and choose not to. You are in my thoughts sweetie.

indie wow - you are already sounding so much stronger, 8 days is a big mental barrier for you, enjoy the meeting, I love Friday meetings, I feel that they give me the armour I need to tackle the weekend sober.

thurso how you doing today? Remember you are doing this for you, not anyone else, just you!

qo hope you are looking forward to another sober weekend - you know where I am if you need me.

daisy mouse Can I join the approaching middle age brigade. I am slowly turning into my mum - driving the children up the wall by insisting on watching the 6oclock news . Not watching Newsnight - it's all so depressing that it puts me off my sleep.

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all having a good Friday - the sun is even shining here, spring must be around the corner!

I see your question time and newsnight and raise you a university challenge!!

Hi Baf yep am looking forward to another dry weekend, I'm enjoying being sober so much, I'm just sorry I didn't do this before.
Having said that I suppose I needed to hit the bottom before I started to make my way back up, I really needed that wake up call to stop me from making excuses any longer.

I have just got my allen carr book through the post, that and phoenix in a bottle, if anybody would like to borrow either or both of them when I'm done, give me a shout!!

Hope everybody is happy and well, have a great weekend xxxx

I raise your question time, newsnight and university challenge with a National Trust membership with matching bag AND rug

ack, got to go supermarket shopping and SO feel like that Friday night bottle glass of wine.
help!

ma

you can do this, just stay away from the wine aisle.
Not easy, but possible.
You are doing so well, you can do this for you

New DVD, new book, magazine. Think of something that you could buy instead.

'Treat' yourself to your favourite chocs, flowers, clothes if it'a a big shop or anything else.

Sorry if I add little. DD and I are ok, and we are snuggling each other and my aunt. Love to all. xx