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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have just discovered that i am pregnant but, don't want to be with my partner no more!

303 replies

sweetchecks · 26/01/2011 18:15

Done a pregnancy test today ad it came back positive.

My boyfriend is wanker and i don't want to be with him no more :/

i don't know what to do shall i tell him am pregnant?

OP posts:
portaloo · 27/01/2011 00:02

sweetchecks I am pleased you came back. Smile

I hope you don't have to wait too long for a place of your own.

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:02

Nothing is going to sink in, is it.

She'll be back in 18 months asking Am I mad? Three under 4 -- what's it like?

Original poster
sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 00:02

missile thank you :) xx

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 27/01/2011 00:03

This is a guy who goes about getting different women pregnant and cheating on people. I can totally understand why you think he's a wanker. Surprised though that your family don't agree with you!

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:04

Sweet, I suggest it's a sign of maturity to listen to people who may not necessarily agree with your "what's the problem" view.

Limara · 27/01/2011 00:06

I don't think we should be condoning this behaviour? I am judging but if we are all 'lovely' to OP, she'll get the wrong message that this behaviour/lifestlye is normal/acceptable.Sad

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 00:06

I had an abortion at 21 as i knew I was too young to cope well and work at the same time. I waited until i met the right guy, albeit took a while, and married at 35, child at 37. Got ill and now can;t have more children. Am I devastated? Hell no, delighted my choices have allowed ds the best start in life with two parents. I paid high taxes solidly for over 20 years, now I am disabled due to hospital negligence, I get not a penny in benefits because my husband works. I will even lose the child benefit next year Smile

I did things the old fashioned way because I believe it's the best start in life for children, and I think morally right that you only have children you can provide for. If there were no people like me and many mums on this site, there would be insufficient benefits for others who don't believe in terminations/contraception. In the not too distand past it was the workhouse and homes. Thank god we moved on from that, but it all takes money, and so many of us who are working and contributing to the state are fully entiteled to be disgrunteled when others act irresponsibly.

Flame away.

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:06

She really thinks it is, Limara, and so do others. Completely normal and nothing to worry about.

Getting your own place is not a good idea. I hope you have a very long time to wait.

Limara · 27/01/2011 00:06

Dyslexia- is it a problem with spelling or grammar?

DuelingFanjo · 27/01/2011 00:08

op uses 'advice' and 'advise' intermittently. is that a dyslexia thing?

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:08

Perfumed -- are you sure you aren't entitled to contributory benefits? They don't depend totally on your husband.

You should ask. There is a benefits hotline where they are much more up on things than down at the high street.

Original poster
sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 00:09

appletree i am not arguing or even going into it, my 'what's the problem' comment was about my age, nite using protection, and yeah i know i should of done, but am not going to sit there and say NOW i should of used a condom because i didn't and now i am pregnant and there ain't much that can be done about it now, apart from abortion and like i said that ain't going to happen.

OP posts:
Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:09

It's really hopeless. This girl is going to have more "stupid mistakes" and goodness knows what will happen to them.

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:11

You don't understand the issue, sweetchecks, which means no doubt history will repeat itself, as it already has.

Learn from your mistakes. For the sake of the child you have and the child you will have.

Viz: give your children a stable start with your parents help.

 use a condom next time.

Put your children first. For goodness sake, for all your sentimentality you don't seem to be doing that at all.

portaloo · 27/01/2011 00:11

sweetchecks Do you know how long you'll be waiting for a home you can call your own? Have you made any enquiries? Smile

Limara · 27/01/2011 00:12

sweetchecks what does your boyfriend do for a living?

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 00:12

sweetchecks i doubt there is anymore support to be had from this thread. if i were you i would hide it before you are inundated with other posters telling you their sacrifices are paying for your children. (bully for them)

Original poster
sweetchecks · 27/01/2011 00:12

portaloo thank you :) xx

OP posts:
Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:12

Just take a breath and think that maybe you should sit there and say "I should have used a condom". Say it a lot.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 00:12

Thanks Appletress, I was told no as dh earns over a certain amount. We can manage without anyway, but might just look for reference Smile

Was trying to point out that we just cannot all afford sweetchecks sentimental attitude to life and the benevolance of the state. Would be a luxary, I could have had five babeees, but there you go, was brought up to pay my way in the world.

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:13

Oh for gawd's sake stay with your Mum and Dad. Your children and you both need the stability and security they can offer.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 00:13

Gawd, a luxury Blush

Appletrees · 27/01/2011 00:14

Yes, but his income doesn't matter when you have contributed. I'm sure of this. For certain benefits anyway.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 00:15

Got it in one, iloveit, sacrifices. Lots of us make them to make the world go around. Others just take.

Limara · 27/01/2011 00:16

sweetchecks is your boyfriend the father of your daughter?