The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The New Year Wine Offers!

[Mouseface]

Hello all.

We are the Brave Babes. We're on the Battle Bus, travelling around sobriety and going day by day, hour by hour, through the detox hell of not drinking, cutting down or sometimes even not.

Come say hi. We won't bite.

No doubt one of us has been where you are now......

It's fine. No judging, no nasty jibes, just us, the BBs.

Come meet the others..................

Lucy and MsGee welcome back, this is a good place to be. I am not sure I add anything but I benefit so much from having people who share the same sorts of struggles as me.
Hi also to everyone else.
I am surviving, SS visit was not as bad as I thought, and tonight is my favourite AA meeting (though it's really big and I find it hard to say anything) and my sponsor is doing the chair - I am actually looking forward to something :) and my head feels in a much better place for it. I've been really bleak mentally for days now and so am just trying to feel positive for this bit of today.

Noteven - you sound much brighter today.

Have SS said how long they plan to be involved? Is there a 'plan of action' for you?

welcome to next8 and Lucy*

d'oh - next and lucy

Hello,

thanks for your messages and warm welcomes.

Well I was in such a good mood then got within 5 mins of home on the way back from work and stopped at the garage to get some cigarettes, came out and my car immobiliser won't work so i've had to leave the car at the Texaco. Going to have to walk back to the garage later to see if I can get in, otherwise it's going to be a call to the RAC. Grrr.

Big test will be a girls night out on Friday. Friday's are definitely the hardest day of the week for me anyway without having to go out 'on the lash' with the girls. I might try and turn up a bit later so that they are well served by the time I arrive.

Apart from that am doing well and fairly positive. Doesn't stop me having these immense cravings for a nice chilled glass of something or other though, especially about this time of the evening

I'm planning on stopping tomorrow and I'm scared.

Lady

If I've understood you correctly, you are a problem drinker.

If that is the case, then your alternative to stopping is NEVER stopping. It will go on like this, day in day out, and, though you will not be able to pinpoint the change, it will get gradually worse.

Is THAT not a scarier thought than stopping?

I'm a problem drinker, everything is better in my life. I'm just now drinking out of pleasure.
I'm planning on stopping drinking tomorrow because from tomorrow I'll be family free for 4 days so I can deal easier with the withdrawal symptoms.

Sorry, I misunderstood. When you said that all your problems were related to alcohol and you wanted to stop I assumed it was not a pleasure.

Not a bad idea to stop when everyone is away but try to make sure you have someone on hand in case it turns out worse than you think - it can be very hard to predict how withdrawal will go.

LADY

Can I ask how much you drink each day/night?

Evening MIFLAW

MIFLAW : Really ?? I dont drink wine pure, I drink it with sparkling water and have been for years, so I should expect bad time...
As I said I have been opened about my drink problem to my friends but non of them are taking me seriously so I guess I'll be by myself.

Mouse - I drink 1 bottle of white wine a night mixed with sparkling water, starting from 5 to 6 pm. In the past (2 years ago), I used to drink 2 to 3 bottles a day starting from 9 o clock.

9 o'clock in the morning

lady I'd suggest that you sit down tonight and plan out your 4 days. Plan what you are going to eat and what you are going to drink. then tomorrow go out and buy it all. Then fill your fridge with lovely non-alocoholic drinks to have. Put some ice-cubes in the freezer, get some slices of lemon or lime if that's your thing. Having bought all your food will eliminate the need for you to go to the shops and reduce the temptation to buy wine.

Plan some activites too. Do you work? Can you arrange to drive to the cinema and see a film with a friend? Or drive to visit someone. Or go to an exercise class. Anything to keep you occupied. Plan things to do at home too. A great book to read, or dye your hair or wax your legs. Do you knit or do crafts? Anything to keep your hands occupied.

Come on here and post if it will help. Or look up the details of AA in your area and find out when meetings are on.

And enjoy waking up in the mornings clear headed

Lady, it does seem that you have cut down considerably already. If you have maintained this (although of course it is still more than "normal" drinkers) then that is a great achievement in itself. :)

Thank you LADY

Sound advice from venus there. I find planning is crucial if you are going to stand a chance at this.

And like luci says, you've done loads already.

Thank you so much venus for your advice and luci and mouse. 2 years ago I was pissed all day, was picking up my children from school pissed and it is true, I dont drink any alcohol during the day, I simply cant. So please tell me if I manage to go from 3 bottles to 1 a day, why am I struggling ?

I'm not wealthy at all, just doing fine, starting this month. Dh and I had horrible struggles, horrible arguments, lots of tears and now we are better, communicating much better and we are on the same page. And I didnt suffer from pmt last month..so with all these things being better why do I need my fix ?

LADY

Habit? Your body and indeed YOU are so used to drinking that at the moment, you can't not drink.

What are your plans re stopping over the next few days?

You know all about withdrawel. Are you happy to go cold turkey (one bottle a night of wine to zero actually shouldn't be bad at all, spirits would be much worse IME) right from the get go?

You know that there is always one of us about or lurking?

Just shout if you are struggling. Especially at wine o'clock.

It's bloody hard to change the way your evening goes.

BUT YOU CAN!

This thread is proof of that.

One day, one hour, one minute at a time.

In your own time and at a pace to suit you.

As long as you are 100% ready, in your mind and in your heart that you want to stop, you will.

We're all cheering you on because we have all felt just like you.

YOU CAN DO THIS BABES! xx

Perhaps your tolerance to alcohol has dropped. Could it be that now one bottle is enough to hit the spot?
6-8pm are the worst times for me. After a day with the kids is coming to an end I feel I need an escape from my life and am gasping for wine.

I drink because I love the effects in moderation but I can never stop at that point. I accepted I am an alcoholic a few weeks ago but I am having a great deal of trouble accepting what that might mean.
In my heart I still want to get back to normal drinking.

Luci - are you still living with your PIL? That was you right?

How are things on the home front lovely?

Mouse- Wine oclock is awful, I dont have a plan yet apart from drinking coca cola and eating crisps and I'll get even fatter ! I put on 2 stones because of alcohol.

I think I need to have early dinner and good books to read, bath and early night. Am planning to go for a power walk with my friend tomorrow.

Mouse - Im sorry I didnt read all the thread, were you in a similar place than me ? How long have you been booze free ? What triggered you to drink ? How did you manage to stop ?

Sorry for all the questions..

LADY

I stopped killing myself on August 2nd, 2010.

I stopped because my beautiful little chap needed me to.

I was so drunk one night that I didn't remember picking Nemo up (you can see who he is if you click on my name ) DH came in, took him off me and told me to go to bed.

I screamed slurred at him to not take my baby away, he wasn't, he was making me go back to bed and sleep the booze off.

I started to drink heavily once Nemo had survived his emergency heart surgery at 6 month's old. It was a trigger, a release, a way to numb the guilt that I'd let him down, in my head, in my heart.

It worked short term.

By the time I found this thread (thanks to venus) I was drinking 90+ units per week. Vodka was my weapon of choice and then wine.

I was a mess. A real mess. But I didn't want to stop. I couldn't see it until that night.

That was all I needed.

Now, at most I'll have two glasses of wine, maybe at a weekend, or special occasion.

I enjoy a drink, rather than need a drink.

I will NEVER go back to the person I had become.

And niether will you once you stop.

No-one on here would out of choice.

LADY

You might be surprised. Despite being a real crisps person, I've not really fancied them as have generally felt a bit better about my body and felt healthier all round. I've also lost weight without really trying which is a big encouragement. However if you feel like eating just do it. It's better than reaching for the bottle.

Sorry, can't believe i'm dishing out advice, I'm a complete novice at this and can only tell you what the last 2 weeks have been like. I've definitely been a bit withdrawn. But am in a bit of an unusual situation at the mo where I don't have all my usual friends and family around.

I have been out and about though, been to the cinema twice (used to love it when a kid but haven't been in ages as it meant abstaining from drink for a couple of hours), helped a sick friend pack up her house to move, driven when out for dinner and dropped a friend home, had my nails done, cooked a lot, been going to Zumba and generally got organised.

It's a whole new world!

Next - re: dishing out advice? Go for it. Experiences are what makes you real. It's what we relate to.

OOOooo - Zumba! Once my legs work I quite fancy that!

But really, don't ever think you can't post advice, doesn't matter how long you've been here.

Huge cliche but we are all in this together.

Mouse, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me, I'm in tears. I'm so touched.

I was never a drinker before but my life went down hill I had pnd, I'm living in England far from my family but I have a complex relationship with my parents,it is so complexed.

I have been feeling better lately (as dh) because our phone is not working, my parents cant call me 2-3 times a day to check on me. I need concelling but my gp wouldnt give it to me because of my drinking problem. So I need to stop by myself. Thank you so much mouse and venus and jesus and miflaw and all the others I have been following. I'm stopping tomorrow and I'll need you.

NEXT - You are so kind, I know we are fighting the same battle but thank you for your kind words...Since I have starting drinking I put on 2 stones and a half, oh well, I have accepted it with time I know that if I stop drinking I'll shrink (hopefully). I have 2 dds, 2 great dds and I'm letting them down. And I also want another baby, I want to put my alcohol problem behind me.