Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 11

[Teaandchristmascakeplease]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

[shocked]

hi just marking place for later. hugs to all newbies. back later xx

Hi all,

Not sure tonight can be worse than christmas?

kate - thanks for letting me know about your email - why do we do it?! And well done for a stylish handover - I bow to you

goat - thanks again - he's not staying over though - he'll only do that if I promise not to talk about the situation - bollocks to that - will not be told what I can or can't say by a man who walks out on his child while she's still in nappies. - Sorry to hear yours left you with a three month old and PND before - what arses they are.

fairy - you're not a fool - you're just married to one - we all are. There is nothing odd or sad or pathetic about expressing love for the person you had children with and expected to spend the rest of your life with. It's going to take us all time to catch up with what's been going on in their heads- they chose not to fully share with us - who can blame us not being able to 'move on' (if my exh says that bloody phrase one more time I may swing for him)

To everyone else - I really hope you have a peaceful night. I doubt very much whether I'll make it until midnight - I'm so bloody tired - but frankly even if he does spend NY snogging her at least he won#'t have had the romantic evening I know he planned.

This will be our year fellow dumplings - it'll be tough, horrible in parts - but at the end of it we'll be in better places

ooh get me

wish my phone would stop bleeping with bloody happy new yr texts,i get my hopes up its him but i know he is probably out at a party and i am far from his thoughts.
made mocktails with the kids they are having a fun evening.
Im starting to think about next week,kids back at school am going to have to tell ds2 teacher what has happened as he is very challenging so god knows what this will do to the progress he had made.Then i am thinking new haircut/colour but i soooooooooo hate hairdressers and my hair is such a state also he will see me looking nice and think ah thats ok i have not totally fucked her life up.I need to address the work issue too ,might ask for all my holiday first before i hand in my notice if i can,i know he probably isnt coming back but it gives him a bit more thinking time/me a chance to see if there are any other jobs around (unlikely).thinking some lists might be a good idea ,i love lists (sado emotion)

Hi all, am starting to have a wobble thinking about what the future holds. My dh has been with me all day (in my head)all thanks to that missed call this morning.

Have been expecting him to ask me to spend the evening with him, just like i did xmas eve. Why cant i just get it in to my thick head that he doesnt me !!!

Although in reality, tonight is just another night, i think for me it means the door is closing slowly- I dont want it to

I will be around later, but i do want to be fast asleep for 12, cant bear it .xx

Just off to get ready to go out :o

Rom, sorry hun but i'd text your X back 2 simple words F* O**, he's playing games with you and thats not fair, for your own sanity you have to tell him to stop the texts, if he loved you like he says he does he wouldnt have left in the first place
Hope your ok hun and i hope i havent upset you it just makes me so that he is doing that to you, you dont deserve it

(((((((BIG HUGS)))))) for all and i'll see ya next year

HAPPY NEW YEAR ONE AND ALL!!!!!!

Hi everyone - anyone still here? Doing ok so far...no sure how I'll be tomorrow morning (my usual time for panics) but hey - we will all get there and get through it.
I know what you mean about texts. Keep thinking my ex will text at midnight- he texted at 8.15 on Christmas morning and even though I don't want him to I do as well. I think the hardest thing to understand when someone has dumped you is that they don't want you, they aren't thinking about you, they're getting on with their lives with some relief. Once you can understand this (and to me that's so heartbreaking) you can put them away mentally and start to move on. At least, that's what this book I've been reading says. And I think that really we all want to put these men "away" and move on and not be brokenhearted. And even if my ex asked me back I would say no because it is obviously not right for him and life must move on.
Sov - have a good night my lovely
Patience - where are you?
Romney - you are very kind saying I look young - the fags are taking their toll close up! And the official English teacher term for your ex's texts is "Bullshit". He's making me very angry. I'm so sorry but he is completely manipulating you and taking advantage of your lovely nature. This sounds awful but my love they are only words. His actions are NOT showing that he loves you. My ex was also full of beautiful words but he often said that he couldn't remember what he had said, when I remembered everything he said because I thought it was so heartfelt. It wasn't on his part. It was just bullshit of the highest order. And eventually even I reached a tipping point and I thought "You're not making a fool out of me any longer" and when he phoned I listened politely and then said I had to go and then I ignored his texts. I would really, really advise you to change your number and go at least 2 months without speaking to him. This will be like going cold turkey but that's the idea. Enforced separation from him is the only way you are going to start to recover. I really think that his constant stream of texts is the main reason why you aren't feeling any better about the situation or more importantly yourself. Please please change your number. It sounds scary but you can do it. I even slpet with my phone I was so keen to hear from my ex when we were together. Now I leave it downstairs at night and I'm not glued to it anymoe. It actually becomes very freeing quite quickly you know. Give it a go :)

Crazee - I'm sorry you can't escape your head - I too know that feeling! The ADs are helping me and readin some good self help books about break ups is also really helping (never read one in my life up to now). Just keep posting on here. As I said in my last post, it's SO hard to know that they don't want us but we have to remember that this is their problem not ours - we are still lovely, attractive, strong and loving women and someday we will find someone worthy of us. Until then, we have to learn to love ourselves a bit more :)

Where - who cares if this is worse than Christmas - we're in it and it's going to be over soon. Hang in their my love!

sorry "there" !!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone,

thank God for our wonderful thread,

goodbye 2010, you were a bit crap I must say and I'm glad you've gone.

2011 will be much better. The only way is up.

Tonight is just another night, it means nothing, just another excuse for teens to get pissed.

Stop crying about the sorry excuse for the
twunts in your(our) lives, if they don't want us then it's their loss.

I'm smiling now because I'm twunt free and it's wonderful.

If I can get through it then anyone can. All I wanted was to stop loving him and stop hating him because it was taking too much of my time and making my eyes sore and my pillow wet.

I'm more than half way there and so will you newbies be too soon. It takes time though.

The only way is too DETATCH and try and stop focusing on them so much, they're not worth it.

xxx

Oh Pink - thank god for this thread and for you! That's cheered me up. I've put you on my "mates" list so you can see my pics and put a face to the goog :)
Going to put some songs on here in a minute...AND I'M GOING TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PARTY THAT EXBF IS AT RIGHT NOW!!!!

Right ladies, pjs on in bed with a chocolate orange- yummy.

Right going to start the ball rolling to detach by deleting my wedding pics and pics of him from facebook.(I have the hard copies but are safety stored in MILs house)

Whos next???

Ok, song time here. Wait a minute and I'll find a suitable starter... Good start btw Crazee (I still can't delete exbf from fb. Long story about what he did when we broke up on fb - the other dumplings on here know him as "facebook bard")

Ok here goes!

All pics gone of him gone, still not ready to change my 'married' status tho

Ahhh do tell googoo???

hello lovelies, borrowing my brothers wifi. No phone reception here, so no texts tonight. No bad thing. The wifi signal keeps dropping but I'm here in spirit

I want to write meaningful replies but it would take forever on my phone and probably be lost when trying to post.

Hi Tea! Lovely of you to drop by! Hope all is well in deepest southern land! Have a good one my dear - you are one of the main reasons I'm still going strong you know. Thank you so much x

And well done Crazee - you're turning into a top dumpling already! Hold on, going to have a cuppa, then I will explain :)

Hi Tea xx

hello lovelies, borrowing my brothers wifi. No phone reception here, so no texts tonight. No bad thing. The wifi signal keeps dropping but I'm here in spirit

I want to write meaningful replies but it would take forever on my phone and probably be lost when trying to post.

next one particularly apt in my case...

silly phone, posting twice