Just a question really as I am curious..

[TLESinChristmasStockings]

when does harmless flirting stop being harmless?

for the last time, before I go and scoop my brains out with a teaspoon...

if everything is so wonderful in your man's woman world, and you are quite happy with how you come across to males and females, carry on

just stop asking the same question, since you already know the answer

You sound exactly like my boss. Lovely woman but terrible flirt, constantly desperate for male attention, like she needs their approval. She actually thinks all these men like having her throw herself at them. In actual fact they hate it and all avoid her like the plague. Nobody wants to be the one who gets stuck talking to her at work events.

A woman in our local pub and club used to be always flirting with my DH. He is too thick to see it very laid back and friendly and she was definitely doing it to annoy me. When I was dancing for example he would always hold my bag and drink and I went over to him once to give him my things and he was holding hers . She would stand talking to him the minute I left his side and because it was loud in there she would put her head to one side and right up to his mouth in a really sort of intimate way and then do really close eye contact and keep tossing her hair back - it was just soooo obvious to me.

The last straw was one night we were in pub and she came over to my DH and asked him what pint he drank and didnt offer me a drink. I said to DH he either told her mine was a bacardi and coke or that he had changed his mind and didnt want one and that if he did accept just a drink for him then she would be treated to a beer shampoo.

Never seen DH move so fast - - told her what i was drinking and when she said she was just getting him one he just told her not to bother.

Whoever said it was a power thing I think is spot on. This woman and her friend who was just as bad started to hang around more and more with us lot - all couples - except one who's married but comes out on his own a lot. Till one night the usual one was flirting with my DH and her friend decided to make a beeline for my friends DP - well they dont call her the rottweiler for nothing - put it that way. Quick word in her ear and they were both gone.

Bahhh, if I am out with friends and their partners we all buy eachother drinks. We have a rule if one person cannot afford to buy for everyone we all buy our own. this rule has been the same for years.

So thats not something I would ever have done.

Its not a power thing with me, I just have male friends and a few less female friends. I don't see what I do as flirting as I am the same with everyone.

Last weekend I was sharing chocolates with female friends but not my male ones - maybe I was flirting with them instead eh

This reminds me of an article I saw in Cosmo (don't judge me, I was at the dentist!) called "Beware of the female dog whistle" or something similar. Will try and find it.

"Now I would rather be out with male friends who are just that friends than with female friends. Actually I have a few female friends but they are mainly bisexual and lesbians and not very womanly at all tbh"

you only interact with people who you think you can manipulate by flirting. if you can't see that there is no point any of us talking to you about it.

you are glutton for punishment you are. stopping posting issues when you know you got a pasting the last time you did.

I don't manipulate anyone.

I started going out again about 8 months ago and used to go out alone. Then my friends came out with me one week and we have all been going to the same 2 pubs every weekend. We have a laugh - I worded my post wrong. I have been told I am a flirt, yet I don't see how I am when I am the same with everyone. Male, female, straight, bi, lesbian or gay. I am just me, I am not an agressive person, I laugh and joke with people, I talk to them when they have something they want to discuss, I am always there for my friends and vice versa.

I am not perfect hell I have my faults and I know them perfectly well.

So how would you interperet
A Group of women in a pub who were all drinking and one man being there who was holding a conversation with one of them and everytime he did then another man jumped in between them.

because that is the reverse of what happened in the pub the other night. I was holding a conversation with a man I know and this woman jumped in between us. We were not snuggled up or anything like that, just sitting at the bar and he was asking me about the place I am moving to. Just a general conversation. Now this man is actually my friends partner and he rolled his eyes, which is when I laughed and walked off to talk to others.

TLES - your last post makes no sense at all to me by way of a reply to mine.

... no no dont bother honestly its fine.

Your paste button seems to have stuck, i'd get that checked out if I were you!

bore off TLES

why do you do this? you don't ever accept what anyone tells you. what is the point of posting? you are adamant that you have this sorted in your head so why even ask when does flirting become harmful. lots of posters here have told you teh answer yet you still insist you know better. what is the point of you posting this?

I don't like your style, that bit where your male friend rolled his eyes becuase some other woman dared to have a convo with him, or butt in.

whatEVER. Bet that made you feel super smug.

you sound up your own arse.

FFS I asked

WHEN DOES HARMLESS FLIRTING BECOME HARMFUL.

it wasn't anything to do with me it was something brought up in convo with friends.

Pirate, it wasn't the fact she dared to talk to him it was the fact she pushed in between us and hung on to his arm that made giggle.

ok, maybe you don't only interact with people who you can manipulate by flirting but you definitely only interact with people who will give you an ego massage by maybe flirting with you. straight women will not do that for you so you don't need them, you make yourself dislikeable to them and then put yourself up as their competition amongst your male friends in another attempt to get that much needed ego boost. you are sad to say the very least.

You find it funny watching other people's unease. YOU may know that you're not jeopardising your own relationship and that's a safe place for you to flirt from, but some women may lose respect for their partners if they see them flirt, which would harm the relationship, and some of the men you're flirting with might not realise your relationship is solid and think it meant more than it did.

Bit of joking and being friendly no harm, but standing around tinkly laughling, tossing hair back and pandering to make ego and laughing at or offering up double entendres type jokes, that's a bit much imo. Especially when you seem to get off on seeing other women unsettled by your flirting.

TLES, I find your threads enormously entertaining. Thank you!

You are narcissistic and in denial about quite a lot of things, going by the contradictory info in your threads. But it's clear you're having a lot of fun - so I wouldn't worry about what other people think of you until someone socks you in the mouth.

Keep on flirting, preferably in your Christmas boots

Valium,
I don't toss my hair back its too short to do so
I don't tinkly laugh either...so not my style. I have said many times I tell them if their jokes are crap.

I laughed because I found it funny the way this woman jumped in between us. She is a single woman who is hooked on this guy and he keeps telling her he is with someone but she is not interested. She is a short skirt, high heeled woman - the total opposite of my friend who is his partner. So she thinks she is in with a chance - she is the one we laugh at down the pub. And before anyone says it no thats not me as I am also always in jeans and a top.

Grace thanks for reminding me what I need to buy for the weekend!!

Sales are on

Gah, it seems to have disappeared (perhaps deservedly) into the abyss but it perfectly described the OP; a woman other women are instinctively wary of due to her behaviour towards or around men, (proclaiming herself to be sexually liberated, "one of the boys", e.t.c. to serve her own interests while compromising the feelings of other women) The article also suggested that men were none the wiser to the typical "women never like me" comments just heard but I don't personally believe this; I think a certain type of man is quick to spot and take advantage of this kind of need for validation and approval.

so, no tinkly laugh, but you find other women boring?! I presume, as you're always with the men in the pub. The men are where the real action is .... The women bore you. But if any other woman behaves in the same way, you laugh at her...