The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 2)

[TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse]

Hello

I'm Mouse.

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus - Gerald! Blame Silver for the name!

We are a group of MNers who post about our relationship with alcohol and how drinking it, or not, has an effect on our day to day lives.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, say hi, take a seat or just read.

Here are the threads so far

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry just had to get that off my chest.

XH is driving me mad and keep getting bloody phone calls from abusive XP trying to worm his way back in my life.

Pleased your MUm sent a present Wasindie an olive branch maybe

I'm hitting the sales (with no kitty money) tomorrow BB can't wait

How is Nemo doing today Mouse

Don't forget Ma and Trinity that this is a difficult time of year to cut down, you may find it easier once January is here

X Posted. What's the witch complaining about Ma

Oh, Sky cables this time, which has run across the edge of "her" property. The guy came back out but it was too dark to see what he was doing so he's going to come back out on Friday (on his day off!!) to realign the thing but she was still out nagging and nipping about "when is it getting fixed? I want it fixed!etc". What part of FRIDAY don't you understand?
This is the old bag who has been ill recently and unable to get out so my DCs have been walking her dog for her in sub-zero temps and snow just to help out. A bit of give and take wouldn't go amiss here!

I hate it when people are like that (XP take note ) when you do loads for them but then they instantly 'forget it' or 'dismiss it'

Ma - count to ten and them some! You know it doesn't work like that re cutting you some slack because your lovely DCs helped her out.

I'm guessing that she is lonely so a bit of drama helps her feel 'alive' or involved some how IYSWIM?

Zany - you need to tell them both to 'fuck the fuck off you fuckity fucker!'

I know it's easier said than done but they both need to realise that they are X's for a reason!! FFS! How's your car holding out?

Nemo has done 7 whole steps unaided today! I am having such uber proud mummy moments. And I'm sober so I will remember it!

Hello Babes

wasindie it sounds to me like your mum is trying to build bridges. My friend is in the same situation as you, but both families are fine, and on Christmas morning, biological dad (sounds like a cartoon hero) comes over with his boyfriend, and their parents, and they have a great time. I do so wish this for you and yours.

ma I don't know how I do it, just 1 hour at a time, and it gets easier. After a while wine o'clock just stops happening. Not always, believe me!, but a lot of the time.

Zany can you switch your phones off?, or screen them?

Mouse Waaaah, how brilliant for nemo, now you will be child proofing all the cupboards .

We have had an ok day, pretty hard work, DH's family are like something out of Dallas!! (if you remember that!), so feeling pretty knacked now. I have my book to look forward to, though, "One Day", not as good as the media say, I think.

Much love xxx

I loved Dallas thurso. Glad you had an okay day.

Get your PJs on, snuggle up with your book and just chill. xx

Also, Nemo is pretty much confined to the lounge with all the building work/unsafe parts of the kitchen and hall etc.

Daren't let him loose! We are going to see friends at the weekend who are very child friendly so he'll have free run of the place!

As soon as this house is okay, he'll have it here too but at the moment, he'd just come a cropper on bits of brick and missing floor!

oh mouse, you are right about neighbour. she's old and lonely but i get very stressed in "atmospheres" where no-one is talking to anyone and we have to pass her door to get to our steps and she pops out with another nag or complaint. DH doesn't care but he tries to restrain himself becos he knows I hate confrontation and will become depressed, but he's had enough and will tell her to fuck off one of these days and the whole thing will escalate! She's never forgiven us for making her ceiling collapse after a pipe leaked up here...
I mean, it was awful for her and we felt dreadful but there was a pipe dripping silently under the floorboards so we couldn't see it until the damage was done. it wasn't like we did it on purpose ffs!
Oh and well done NEMO!!!! yay!

Ma - maybe she needed someone to blame it all on? Someone to direct her finger to?

If it's out of he control, then maybe she has to vent about it. Like most elderly folk.

'In my day, that would never happen' etc. Except it would and did but they weren't party to it?

You kept your mouth shut and got on with life in 'her day'?

I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel how you do by her little jibes to you and DH but maybe understand that it's not 'you' that she's pissed off with.

Sorry for typos!

Tired now.

thing is Mouse,there are three flats in this old house. We have the "big" one upstairs and she is downstairs left and another couple are downstairs right. They are all buddies so wind each other up and complain about everything. I am a bit of a wuss so always try and keep the peace; keep the kids quiet, no loud music, offer to help out (let their grandkids play in the garden which is ours, as they have no grass etc). We have been here 8 years and never complained ONCE about anything - loud music, dog barking, door slamming etc, - yet they constantly find things to snipe at us for. When she complained about teh cable - phoning me during DDs birthday dinner - I said sorry, ok, I'll phone Sky and get it moved. Which I am doing ffs! What more does she want?
I'm drinking tea BTW - if I can't control her, then maybe I can control THIS

She wants it done now! I guess that she just doesn't see things like you and thrives on the drama!

You can control your drinking, you are doing bloody brilliantly - all things considered!

I'd be gutted for you if she was the reason that you failed after all your hard work!

I know it's easy for me to say but try and ignore her. If you don't engage with her, do you think she'd leave you alone?

Little things like moving a cable are major issues for people like her and as it's yours, you are the target for her dismay and annoyance.

Sorry to sound like I'm sticking up for her, I'm not, she is behaving appallingly towards you.

I can just see why she feels the need to be 'involved' in every little incident.

Am I making sense?

sigh yes, you are making sense, but it still pisses me off.
Trying to be positive and have googled the local swimming pool to see if its open tomorrow so me and DS can get out of the house and get some exercise. Part of this is the dreaded New Year blues which hit me hard every year and I can feel the Black Dog of depression creeping up on me...I hate this time of year, all the false bonhomie and talk of this being the year everything changes and you achieve X,Y or Z, when it fact you're faced with another sodding year of same old same old....
Ok, I'm, going now before I bring the thread down. have a nice evening ya'all

You're NOT bringing the thread down Ma. No way.

I know you are pissed off, I would be too. Her behaviour is not on. At all.

I hope you get to go swimming, I miss swimming. I will swim again on day!

'one' buggeration!

Morning all

Well, back to work, but didn't have to de-ice the car, which is a bonus.

Lots of talk today about how wasted everyone got over the festive period, and I don't feel that I missed out on any of it! Feel that my head is moving to the right place about drinking, although I still have my moments.

Really looking forward to my AA meeting tonight. OMG - such a saddo that AA appears to be my only social life at the moment.

Another positive is that no alcohol and a broken heart has led to a stone weight loss in the last month!! I may feel like rubbish - but I look good .

Hope everyone has a good day today.
Dementadma Hope you get your issues with your neighbour sorted!

Bafana - that's the only plus for a broekn heart, weight loss!

I bet you do look good. I'm sure your skin will be brighter, less red, less dry etc. Your eyes will be clearer and I bet you physically feel better too.

No hangovers, guilt trips on what you may have said etc......

Well done you!

Wasindie (Do not take any advice from me on this subject, it is just that there has been something similar happening in my family) I saw Mouse's post about your ma might be softening. I read back and found yours about the package. (Do not take my advice. Mouse is much much better) And I thought, on your behalf, that although a parcel is possibly a step in the right direction, I would want (not vindictively, partly to ensure it doesn't happen again, to me, to you, to the man at the bus stop) them to know the pain they have caused you and your partner. And if your dc were a little bit older, to your dc.

In my situation it is my dp's family, and it has caused me grief mainly because my dc have been affected. I feel like a constantly want to say 'Do you have any idea of the amount of distress you have caused to entirely innocent people, over a period of some years?'. I do not feel inclined to say, 'OOh what? Those years of torment? Forget it. All forgotten!!'

(Did I mention that you are to listen to Mouse, and not to me?) So when I read your post I felt a bit bolshy on your behalf, coz of my stuff. I thought Why the hell should W and her dp be bending over backwards to be charitable to someone who has caused them such grief? Surely it should be the other way around?

My grandfather never ever spoke to his son (my favourite uncle, an absolute diamond to me, in actions as well as words, sadly now dead and much much missed) after he got divorced. I am still friends with the exwife who is also lovely. The exwife does speak to him. It was one otherwise nice person with bigoted views who caused distress all round and great confusion to their hoards of dc. It seems that everyone has to wait patiently for the bigot to soften and then all be happy. The bigot, imo, should actually articulate that their actions have caused a lot of completely unnecessary unhappiness.

And I think that possibly in my family it could be explained away by his age and background (RC and immigrant) but your mother is doing it now, well into the 21st century. I have no idea what your dp must make of it all.

On a lighter note, my puppy has just worked out how to climb stairs. But she can only get to the 2nd and then she is stuck, and cannot go up or down, so she shrieks to be rescued. A selfservice naughty step, created by her.

Hello forthe - how was Christmas? And how are you feeling?

Good Christmas. Feeling a bit coldycoldy. Really really enjoying the snow but don't like admitting it because it has caused so much havoc for many. I have had that diatribe at Wasindie in my head for a long time. I was about to add some more. 'Softening?' stuff softening. A detailed apology taking into account the pain she has put W and her dp through. Vountary work or an awareness course for bigots who think they are a century behind the rest of us.

(Don't listen to me, listen to mouse)

I think that people who are bigots and who cause pain through their bigotry should go on awareness courses if they want to apologise. And then they could help run such courses by talking about what they did in the name of their bigotry and the pain they now realise it caused, and to whom. Which in turn might make other bigots think twice about voicing their bigotry.

And I feel it is important to reiterate that there is not such disease as alcoholism. There just isn't. The man who made up the model was asked to give his thesis back, but his work is still bandied around. Feeling one has a disease influences one's thinking.

It might help people to pretend they have a disease. I can see that. But please to not perpetuate the disease theory because it has been debunked and should never have gained any credence in the first place.

Please question anyone who tells you it is a disease. They have probably been told it in good faith.

I wonder what WasIndie's ma says to her friends when they all chat about their grandchildren?