He's admitted it .....I'm heartbroken

[Yogabuff]

Well DH finally admitted he cheated although he reckons it was a once off. Don't beleive that for a second. He didn't say sorry he just got pissed because I started asking questions. Why, Who etc. Then came the I love you and I want to be with my family bla bla bla.

I told him to leave and he left. I'm so angry and so hurt. Thing haven't been good for a few months it's been hard with the PND and the doc thought I had MS (got the all clear a few weeks ago) but I was worried about it for months. He should of stood by me through this, I feel so let down.

I have work tomorrow and no childcare. Looks Like I need to tell some people what's happening....

you poor thing

you are not stupid, you just loved him and trusted him until a few days ago

there is nothing wrong with that

don't be swayed by crocodile tears...a man like this will just carry on doing whatever he likes, particularly if you forgive him and give him a green light to carry on

look after yourself today...do you have to work or can you just chill today and lick your wounds ?

It's nighttime where I am, this all happened this morning. I took today and tomororw off. I rang my mum and she's going to come over and help me.

I am going to get my hair cut in the morning then I have a counselling session in the afternoon. I need to get my shit sorted and take good care of me and DD and we'll be just fine. I reckon when I look back at all this in a few years I'll see it as a good thing.

Yes you will. There will be stages you'll go through now such as denial, anger, bargaining, maybe depression and finally acceptance. One day you'll be sure you never want him back and the next you'll be having doubts and think you could work through things etc. It's very hard. I attended a divorce workshop which I found hugely helpful, as well as counseling.

I think with this man you're better off without him, truly.

I've just caught up with the thread. Sorry to hear you are going through this while your pregnant. We feel so vulnerable when we're pregant at the best of times anyway. But it's for the best that you found out, even though it will hurt like hell in the short term.
And he can'T stay on without you, can he... unless he's got a work visa, but even if he has got a work visa, the change in status from spouse to work visa means he can kiss goodbye his permanent residency. It's too soon to think about all this now, but I only mention it because your H really has behaved abominably, and that in light of the visa situation he will probably be a) more malleable and humble or b) more manipulative and grovelly, so just give yourself some emotional space, and don't get sucked in by him.

Yogabuff

Just caught up with your thread. I am sorry he was such an idiot.

Look after yourself and pleased you are having some counselling - it will help you in so many ways.

With help from the counsellor you can now work with a full set of tools and techniques to decide how and what relationship you have with (possibly X) DH.

Good luck and definitely seek support & advice on MN again if you need it - there are so many good people and opinions on here.