Its the whole inner voice thing SH ,if you think down you get down ,if surround yourself with DOOM people the ones that suck the joy out of you ,the ones that make you doubt urself then you become a victim,me ,starting,happy,lc,getting tea.pink,mumfun etc etc could all have sat looking for pity and wallowed and given up ,the spirit this thread was started in was a breath of fresh air ,as BEAUTIFUL said "all about regaining your fabulosity because moping is so 1990's"
Dont ever think i am being flippant when i write ,i never invalidate anybody's pain,i truly empathise but in this life if we strengthen ourselves we are less likely to put up with ill treatment in every dept .If you give out confidence and positivity then it reflects back onto you ,just the same as if you give out negativity it will reflect back onto you .LC did you find after shouting at ur X you just felt worse,i dont mean you shouldnt have shouted at him ,dont repress the anger and all that ,what i mean is when someone told me about energies i started watching these things and when you make the effort to stay serene and positive it really does make you feel healthier .But that doesnt mean i can live my life like that it is a level i aspire to be.
So my way of looking at in SH is its a bit like learning how to play the piano ,it will take me a good 5yrs b4 i can knock out a decent tune consistently everyday ,but self discipline and practice will really help me break self doubt patterns etc.Keeping my self surrounded with positive influences is good also but more importantly i have to distance myself from the negative influences ,my X was like an addiction ,so i have to steer clear of him or it will bring me down,i am better at recognising co dependency in myself and others so nowadays i can say no to others when they offer their help some folk are addicted to helping but then get pissed off if they arent wanted/appreciated often they force themselves on others ,nowadays i walk my own
path ,i truly only do things that i want to do,i am number one .Just dont become a victim SH ,one woman said to me the reason i didnt tell everyone my business was because i was too proud ,eh no i just didnt want silly fuckers like you making me feel like shit by making stupid fucking comments.Just make it ur mission SH if you want to change ,i still feel grief ,pain ,curl up in a ball etc but my inner voice will not give up ,i know i have a better chance of life ahead my X had a chance to move forwards with us but he didnt want to leave his pals and the pub behind .
If you can be bothered SH and if you have time i would seriously read every dumpling post ,some seriously good advice is in it ,some really sad stuff and some really funny/silly stuff .Big hugs and if you want to start treating urself like ur new best friend i think thats a fab idea,take her fun places ,treat her well buy her a new outfit dvd cd just have a laff ,try it out for a week ,you can always goo back to your old way ,youve got nothing to lose ,maybe she would like flowers tomorrow or a new naiolpolish ,why not ?its nearly xmas ,my nbf [me] is getting sky hd plus box and broadband and a landline !