Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 10

[googoomama]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity
:) :(

You've been completely fair Patience.

Yes still feeling a bit under the weather and had a tricky day so my post was written quickly earlier and wasn't put together that great.

Ahh City my lovely 37 years together is a longtime. Unlike my 6 years. You wonderful lady your no pressure, relaxed Chrimbo sounds perfect.

I haven't really read a lot of today's posts, I just happened to see Patience one earlier and City's just now.

Tomorrow I'll try and catch up a little again

Waves to all.........

Am trying to stay positive & not allow myself be affected by this but heard something today about xh that send a chill down my spine. He's as sick & twisted as you could get. Am slightly concerned that he could be granted access during separation hearing next mt. Based on what I heard today will have to fight this all the way. Getting you asked what the proceedings were next mt. Well I'm not legally able to get divorced for another few yrs so these proceedings will finalise a legal separation in the interm. Am also v concerned as at last hurdle my sol does not seem to be on top of her game & feel my faith in her slipping .

Off to read thread now.........

Tea, hope you feel better tomorrow.

City, good to see you back posting & you should continue to pour out your misery here, it's a support thread for wherever people are at ((Hugs))

Happy, glad to see you back

Getting, your xh is a twat to do that to dc's . Well done on handling it so well

Waves to starting and hopes all the legals get sorted peacefully in 2011 ,
Hope u can park this up til then and enjoy a good Xmas with dcs x

Hi all you lovely ladies, have a wonderful Christmas, you all deserve it. Thank you for your amazing support.

I have been trying to catch up on thread but have failed miserably! I got stuck in Orlando at the weekend due to the airports being shut so have fallen behind.

I am sorry to say I am still in such a bleak place at the moment, I am seeing everyone else moving forward and I seem to be stuck or wallowing in my misery! I feel such a failure for feeling like this. The gp has now changed my AD's as she agrees with Occ Health at work that I shouldn't still be feeling so low. Why am I having so much trouble moving forward. I am laying in bed after another night of only 5 hrs sleep crying. I can't go on like this. Sorry to be so negative.

Morning everyone

Starting well done on sounding calm in the face of yet more negative stuff with your xh. I too hope its something you can put aside until after Christmas and enjoy your time with the dc

Tea hope you are feeling up to enjoying today and tomorrow , I bet you are going to some lovely services at your church ?

Patience did you get something sorted with him in the end ? Not a Muppets fan myself

Well I was very edgy last night thinking about xh and his vile behaviour, my pin sharp memory is a curse. I have woken up today feeling very peaceful and every day onwards is a new year for me knowing my xh loved someone else but that has given me freedomn from him.

I have a lovely day planned with a fancy lunch here with the dc and then off to a Christingles service at 4pm with dd and a lovely friend. I missed last years due to what was going on but otherwise I have been every year since ds was born so its a nice tradition.

We have a few Christmas stories which come out every Christmas eve and I have told ds now he is too old to be read to he will have to read one to me

All dumplings with young dc this is the time where they are so sweet and still believe in Santa - make the most of these few days whatever else is going on with your twunts dont let them spoil or overshadow your Christmas'

Off for an early morning walk with a friend, the advantage of big non believing in Santa dc is that they can be left asleep in their beds for a while

Romney I am sorry to hear that.

All I can say is I dont understand why you think you should be moving forward already.

As I recall you were in a happy marriage and had no idea this was coming.

I was in an unhappy one for years and its still taken me a year to get to this place.

A dumpling friend said to me the other day she considered it a bonus if she had got up and cleaned her teeth and got dressed 6 months after her h left.

Got to go but will be back. Is he still ringing you saying you're hs best friend he loves you etc ?

Waves to Rom and getting ( shocked by muppets although never liked them as a child, but divorce brings out all sorts of emotions)
Ok no further contact from X yesterday.Ds has thrown me a curve ball by waking up ill today and been v sick everywhere.It's beginning to feel a lot like Xmas .

Waves to Rom and getting ( shocked by muppets although never liked them as a child, but divorce brings out all sorts of emotions)
Ok no further contact from X yesterday.Ds has thrown me a curve ball by waking up ill today and been v sick everywhere.It's beginning to feel a lot like Xmas .

Morning all.

Getting, I hope you have a lovely walk. I didn't enjoy walking when I was (unhappily) married but love it now. You sound so together. My dcs lie in bed too but unfortunately never want to do much with me when they wake up.

Patience, don't let xhs twattery get you down. A word of warning, if you post on your new phone beware of totally wild texts as it magically makes some amazing word choices.

Tea, I hope you feel ok today, I sense you are on the road to recovery.

Romney, sorry to hear you're finding it tough. Please do keep posting.

Starting, once again your resilience is being tested. I truly think you have the most arrgh xh of all. Luckily you are a wise and tough lady and somehow, some way things will all work out ok.

Ladies, my brain is stopping me taking in any more posts and replying sensibly on my phone. And it's probably not helped by the fact that I was chatting to mman til 2 on the phone. So nice to have a guy I can chat to for hours you know ... I have never met a guy who can talk more than me before! And, sounds crazy but talking to a guy who's not a boyfriend is just fab.

Am still pathetically excited about xmas. Does anyone fancy a London ish meet up over xmas by the way? Am off work for a bit, have zero plans to see family and a coffee and a catch up would be cool.

Waves to all. City and LC and newbies especially, I hope you're all doing ok. Off to find a tune.

Argh, xposts galore.

Patience, this tune is for you. Mman introduced me to this and because I think of you as a feisty dumpling I think you should dance on the table to this one.

punk xmas

Morning all. Oh God, first thing I did today was spill a whole cuppa on my mum's acres of cream carpet. They weren't pleased. Cue lots of kitchen roll, talk of professional carpet cleaners...just goes to show what happens when you have a lovely life - other things take on massve siginificance!
Happy - fill me in with mman - missed this bit of your thread! :)
Waves to all

Thanks happy ,wot was it BTW didn't play on phone .X going to try boxing day but he s not promising anything,thing is he thinks this is acceptable
/normal he isn't angry at me on phone ,just his priority is HIM basically ,don't know how else to explain it.Any way time for some festive detatchment,would love a festive meet up Happy x

Classic ggm ,UR right luxury problems,LOL .That's karma for being a meaner to you yesterday.

It's called Little Drummer Boy by Joan Jetts.

Hmmm GooGoo, do carpets really matter?

Mman, well...there is a bit of history though the threads but I do like to be a bit mysterious so a summary.

Mman taught me the guitar and prior to that also taught ds which is how we met him. Is a poor and totally sweet musician. Younger than me so makes me feel like a teenager. Was always chatty and fun in lessons and chatted a bit about break up. So...a few months ago he suggested we scrap the teacher student thing and be mates, which we now are. Will never be more than that for various reasons but he is a wonderful friend and just what I need. He is everything I am not .... very creative, hugely able to have a good time and I have spent many funny times with him. He loves to chat and we have the craziest conversations.

Is almost a secret friendship as my middle class married friends would find it odd. But I don't care much about that.

Morning! Happy Christmas(War is Over) made me cry at the weekend because of its words and I feel like I am in a war at home with H - haven't tried linking things yet. But, it could apply to dumplings and looking forward to the future.

Apologies - by John Lennon.

BTW, I had a post back in October 'Would you accept your DH doesn't love you'. I actually felt after contemplating that, at the time, that I would have accepted it better if he had not been cruel. Merry Christmas to you all.

OMG Goo, talk of proffesional carpet cleaners !!!

Romney, I can't remember how long you've been parted. Just to say though that I too was happy in my marriage. When he left I was totally numb for the first 6 months, had tons of therapy etc for the next year, few set backs after that, eg my father giving h tons of dosh (don't ask) and me finding out by mistake that he had a 6 month old baby (everyone knew exept me). Outing myself here massively but it's xmas and I feel good appart from my cold and I DON'T GIVE A SHIT .

I only found mumnet and this thread exactly one year ago (2 years after he'd gone) and I was still a bit suicidal at that point. I wouldn't be here without the antidepressants.

There's loads of other really crap stuff which I won't go into on here at the mo but I just want to say that it really really will get better.

Everyone is different and has their own rate of recovery. I was deeply in love with h for 27 years and I will always bear the emotional scars of the past 3 years but gradually it's got better.

Something small happened re exh the other day and I was a bit upset for a short time. My friend who was here said to me "a few months ago you'd have been duvet diving because of that", and it made me realise how far I've come.

I tell you what's really helped me 'detatch' this christmas.......he gave the DC such fucking laughably awfull xmas presents, and I thought again what a sad pathetic tosser he really is. They saw him for a couple of hours and said it was boring and awkward.

I sort of hope he's reading this,

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU INADEQUATE PORN ADDICTED LITTLE MAN.

Anyway, hang in there Romney and BE STRONG. I've had no contact with exh from the day he left, it would have been too painful and he also didn't deserve one second of my precious time.

Got to go now before DC get up. I've eaten 12 'classic all butter rich mini mince pies',

bloody lovely they were and worth every calerie but I need to hide the evidence.

I love the muppets, Patience, always have done .

I'm up for a londonish meet up too, in a nice cafe in town maybe ?

Love to you all xxx

PS my friend is out of hos now

PS Romney, you also have to REALLY WANT to get better and move on. It takes a lot of work and effort, a new hairdo and a couple of new tops . You can sink or swim, it's as simple as that and I took the decision to swim for the sake of my kids and it's been like swimming through shit and meeting lots of sharks on the way and now a lot of the shit has gone and I can see clear blue water. The alternative would have been me taking an over dose and ending up in a phyciatric unit, the house being sold or even worse...him coming back to live in it with MY kids and MY dog and no way was I going to let that happen.

GET STRONG GET TOUGH, you've only got one life and this is it.

Off to get more mince pies

Morning all

Hope everyones set for tommorow :o
I started wrapping pressies last night and X popped round to tune DS1's new guitar, he was here about 5 mins and it seemed quite awkward(think it was because of flirty texts the night before,oh well) about an hour or so later he calls me and asks if im still wrapping, when i say yes he says he'll be round in a sec to give me a hand told him he didnt need to but i would appreciate the help, so he came round and didnt leave till 2 this morning, apparently he has trouble sleeping and not 1 of his friends are talking to him at least he's not blaming me for it anymore
I had no emotion about it all as soon as he left i went to bed and slept soundly :o the only thoughts that did cross my mind was that normally i have to nag him to help with wrapping and that were never going to do that together again, also why did he want to come help when he knows i am more than capable of doing it all myself (i normally have a huge pile wrapped and he's done about 3)
He says (quite tearfully) that he will be spending xmas day alone after leaving DC and my first thought was that i felt sorry for him but then i reminded myself he chose this not me and i just went back to my wrapping

lmao

I hope after his speech the other night about us not even being able to be friends that his isnt thinking of trying something with me over christmas because i really dont want to be nasty to him but will if i must (would a swift kick to the balls be too much d'ya think?? lol)

Patience, i love the muppets and had DC watching Muppets Wizard of Oz yesterday :o

Rom, City DOLL, keep on posting my sweethearts, dont think your pulling the thread down or that your problems are too much for us and you dont want to put it on us that is precisely what we are here for, to support you through these feelings and to tell you that it is perfectly normal and that we have all been there, afetr xmas day i will be about as i have no other plans so if you need to chat you know where to find me :o

Happy, would love to meet up but the chances of getting any time away from DC is zilch, no one will have them even for an hour for me unless im going to the pub with my mum one night then she makes dad have them, other than that they are with my 24/7

Googo, at least it wasnt red wine on their carpet, they would really have been peed off then lol

Dc are crying for some unknown reason again!! best go give them some attention

Waves to everyone and promises to be back later (am relaxing with bottle of wine tonight :o)

H has kept telling me how he is going to have a Divorce Party when we get our divorce. He says he just wants to be on his own and 'happy'. He just wants to get rid of me and my son. (edited version, btw).

Any tips how not to throttle him? I was tempted last night; but he just enjoyed getting the reaction. Will I never learn to go down to his level!

Must go and buy more wrapping paper! Hope others' preparations are going well.

My typing is bad. Will I never learn NOT to go down to his level of behaviour. Patience was really tested last night.

Patience hope your ds is ok thats not what Santa ordered !!

Happy I have always loved walking glad mm is making you happy

Sov yay to detachment

deluded just chant to yourself "I will be free of him soon " or some such thing whenever he kicks off and ignore him, thats what I did for the month I had to live under roof with xh

pink I love mince pies too but with cream as well. Great post and yes I can see blue water too now. My therapist used to make the analogy of a boat at storm tossed seas which eventually sails into a harbour where the water is like a mill pond.

Got to go and not allowed back on MN until I've done some jobs

Citydoll, Romney - I'm pretty low right now too. I've been referred to the mental health team as I'm not coping with day to day stuff. If it wasn't for Wallace the dog I wouldn't even open the front door. Some days are better than others. I went shopping yesterday but had to come home as I kept crying but today I feel ok, maybe because I know I don't have to go out. I'm worried about life and I'm worried about the effects of all the worrying. But my good friend said to me, cut yourself some slack and don't be so hard on yourself. And it's true. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to wallow a bit and accept the low days and enjoy any good times without feeling guilty.

Pink, your story is a shocker and your recovery gives hope to us all. You deserve way better, as do we all.

Big hello to happy, getting, patience, googoo, mumfun, tea, starting, deluded and all newbies and veterans.