Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 10

[googoomama]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity
:) :(

shouldn't

Morning Tea - so sorry about your cold. And what a nightmare for you yesterday re car park. Don't you just love it when a man can see a single woman in a car with children screaming and decides to shout at her? Not many women would do that to another woman...
We've got the snow in northumberland today - it's coming down in an amazing fashion. Just got rid of previous 2 feet of it and I'm starting to get worried that Christmas will be cancelled - it's very rural round here and my parents live 17 miles away in the next big village from mine. The roads are all back roads and very very dangerous so if this continues it'll be me and the kids! At least I've got their presents (minus batteries!) I'm going to brave going out now to get the batteries. Feeling quite cheerful today actually. Just about survived the weekend on my own and really looking forward to seeing the kids later when they come back from exh. This split with exbf has made me realise just how imprortant life with my boys is - I'm going to cherish it (both good and bad bits!)

Hi googoomama. Thank you for your welcome. Yes, still living in the same house. I am finding it very, very hard; he is not, quite the opposite-he is desperate to start his fantastic new life and is already carving out his future in front of me and I keep hearing from him how I ruined his life and now he gets to do what 'he' wants all the time, doesn't want to ever have to make compromises again, and apparently wants to be on his own. He has many plans for his future and is very excited. I have been the worst thing that has ever happened to him, and now he can start 'living his life', without having me, the millstone, the crazy unbalanced woman, round his neck.

Not too good for the self-esteem;but there is a whole history on that subject. I have tried to rationalise with him many times, but everything is always ALL my fault, I am always to blame. He does do a good job of convincing me but I know it is not all down to me; he didn't give me much positivity towards me really. When he left me a few years back, I think I found it not such a struggle because, after the initial shock, I felt a bit better and wasn't having to endure still being around the person that dumped me; this is so hard.

And, there is no other woman involved, in my case, which is the one thing I have not had to deal with (yet, anything could happen, I suppose, though, in my situation, and I've been through a load of horrible other stuff). So, I know that lots of dumplings on here have it harder than me in that way, and I admire your strength.

Tea hope you feel better soon

googoo I am not rural but it dawned on me yesterday my Christmas plans will be ruined if I cant drive, not sure what to do as a plan B

deluded sorry I havent been well last few days so a belated welcome from me. Why do you still have to live together ,he sounds like a panto character to behave so extremely and not a very nice one

Just sat and watched the Strictly Final from last night what a fab series its been this year and my favourite won. For 5 minutes to be that talented gorgeous and in love would be fab !! Any other strictly dumpling fans ?

Going for a snowy walk to the pub with last nights friends in a minute , its like being in a Christmas card.

gettingeasier - thank you. No, he refuses to leave, and, as I say, there is no other person involved in this. And, this dumping me has happened many times before, or been threatened to dump me, but it is different this time. I liked 'strictly' but satellite signal went due to snow.

Er what am I missing ? He feels as per your post towards you but refuses to leave ? Is it to do with money ? God it sounds awful

Hi everyone - I'm a new dumpling and would like to join in - especially for those wonky moments!

H left us for OW just over week ago - let me know by text. Have started a couple of threads about some of the issues I've had since!

Haven't read whole thread as DD about to wake up and running out of time.

But hello and I love strictly

gettingeasier - it's to do with the fact that I have been a SAHM and have been dependent financially on him, he pays for most stuff, and he refuses therefore to leave. He left me once before and came back and doesn't want to lose control of things.

gettingeasier - it is very hard because he says he hasn't liked me from the start. And it's just that we have dc. I am full of hurt atm, either that or really, really angry. (I hate having all these strong emotions!)

Have you seen a SOL DF ,you need to get away from this man asap.

Getting i think Spring represents the 16mths since split ie one month for every year ,i feel less wobbily now but by Spring i think i will have had 4mths of acceptance and hopefully be divorced.

BOTG told u by text what a weasel,welcome aboard and sorry you have been hit with this espec at this time of year ,post what you like if it helps ,big hugs to you x

Tea hope ur feeling ok ,had to do an impromptu bible reading today in church ,i was cooler than a cool cool thing and told everyone about the angels appearing b4 the shepherds .All dcs 3+ got given a lit christingle to hold

Hello everyone. Had a 3 hour power cut earlier and got in a panic as no heating or oven or lights. Boys were due back from their dad's, so I opened the lego man torches I'd got em for Christmas and put batteries in, as I didn't have a torch in the house and couldn't bloody see! Just as boys came back and I had torches in hand the lights came on - so I had to give em torches cos they'd seen em lol! Never mind, they're happy!!!
Going to watch Christmas Carol with the boys soon - late bed because it's the holidays!
Patience - your church service sounded lovely. I'm taking the boys to church on Christmas Eve for the little ones' service - hope they're good.
BOTG - your man sounds like a complete prat. So sorry about you situation - he is an abuser. You are very welcome here - it's a good place to be :)

Yep going to go on Christmas Day this year ,never could before,always pleased everyone else not myself ,still dont know what im doing for xmas this year ,have been invited to my parents but hoping for masssive snow fall !!
Glad you got ur leccie back on GGM !
Away to google lego torches ,X not had kids last 2 Sundays so how does he reckon i go shopping for dcs xmas ?

Oh dear. Exbf has written on facebook "There are some dubious, self serving f*ers out there, we all know who they are" and I think he's talking about me because I haven't replied to his text. I coudl have told everyone about his dating website profile but I haven't, so I think he's being really horrible. Makes me feel a bit sick if it's about me. I haven't done anything wrong! And god knows what everyone in his village is going to think about me. Beggar's belief really. I'm so best off without him. Hopefully noone will think badly of me. I just couldn't answer his text. I didn't know what to say and anyway it's over and I can't just be friends straight away, it's too difficult. :(

Get lego torches from Argos - tenner each. And they're huge and their feet light up and everything moves just like a real lego man - they're so cool!

And DF - your ex is also an emotional abuser. How dare he?! You were and are doing the most important job in the whole world - being a SAHM. Your job has ALLOWED him to go out and work. What a complete...can't say it but I'm thinking it. I was married to a man like that. I was on my knees by the time he left, like a shadow of myself. Everything was my fault too and he hated me. Get in touch with a SOL and get him out of the house. You have more rights, actually, as you look after the kids. And don't let him back in either. He is abusing you and you sound scared. I was scared of my exh too but his power over me fell away once he had left. That's why he won't leave - he knows this. Keep posting and much love to you xx

Read Co dependent No More GGM and it will help you to stop worrying about what he thinks or other people .....remember Startins short version of Serenity Prayer FUCK EM !
ps what is self serving anyway what a prick does it mean you only think about yourself !

This is what you are working towards remember ,self love and zero tolerance on snivelling shits .

I would delete him .....
email music bloke for a coffee......
forget xbf,cut the cord ,imagine he is a ballooon and watch him float off away ,GONE!SEE YA ,WOULDNT WANT TO BE YA !

Writing xmas cards with ds

All I ca think of is a couple of weeks ago I went out to Newcastle and was in a pub and saw someone we both knew and I told him we'd split up and he was really shocked and I said that my exbf was finding it hard to think about living with my kids and he just oculdn't do it and that it was sad and I was sad but we were still friends. I don't think that's a bad version of events really do you? I could have said lot of other things but I didn't bad mouth him at all. But if he's bumped into this bloke, well, that probably wasn't what he wanted me to say. What he'll have wanted me to say is that it was a joint decision "for 400 reasons", which is what he's told his mates.
Yeah and dubious self serving f*er just about sums him up ironically! I was talking to my dad today, who is lovely and he said "Googoo, never speak to that man again. He was taking the piss out of you. Never speak to him again."

My exH is an untterly selfish twat that's for sure! Just off the phone and blood is boiling!

Doesn't think he will see DD at xmas cos of snow and doesn't know when if he will 'be able' to see her again this year after his next visit Tues. This is the idiot who reckons he weekly overnight stays at his new home with OW!! He can't be arsed to see his DD on xmas day BUT he thinks he'll put in the effort to collect her weekly! Ridiculous fool.

God I am starting to hate him - quite sad really as he will always be DD's father.

Oh and I asked CD man if he fancied meeting up for a CD swapping cuppa in the new year. And I got a really nice reply saying yes definitely and by the time we meet he'll probably have made me a 3CD box set! Just meeting as friends, which suits me fine.

BOTG - you're right. Complete arse. Only thinking of himself and not his DD. I doubt the weekend visits will last long. And that's the problem with exh's. You hate them but they are always the father of your kids. However, even if they come and go, you will always be there and it does get easier - my exh doesn't affect me much now, nearly 3 years in. He sees the boys but all the negative stuff is now on the head of his gf, poor soul.

I agree with ur dad ,i dont get why you have to check fb anymore now ,if he gets more bitter then its only going to get worse ,if he meets someone you dont want to see her photo do you or see stuff about them ,i just mean its all negative stuff
That Was The Wanker That Was ...Its over let it go .....

I'm lurking but not taking much in with this cold.

Googoo I thought you'd hidden him in newsfeed? How did you see that status?

Time to delete him, it maybe nothing to do with you at all. However please just remove him from your friends