Evening Ladies,
LC, i know how you feel when you say
"Really, what I miss and what i am so frightened of is trying to cope on my own. In reality I have been coping on my own for several years and I just didn't know it. I need to accept that I'm already doing it rather than I need to try to do it."
That's how i feel, scared of the future and the long hard stretch ahead raising the DC alone, but what i do is look at my life when X was around and look at my life now and i pat myself on the back as i have already been doing it alone for 7 yrs now, it is hard at times but i found X to be a hinderance rather than a help and my life in that sense hasnt really changed that much at all except now i dont have to deal with him day to day anymore, we have been doing and we will continue to do it because we are GOOD MUM'S and STRONG WOMEN who will do whatever it takes to make sure our DC have a good childhood.
Take the time from your job and gather your energies, dont worry about losing it as i'm sure they will be more than supportive of you
You have my number USE IT, i will listen when you need and ear and distract you when you just want company ((hugs))
Tea, Have skimmed thread and am so grateful for the support that everyone has offered, you asked if X had a job, counselling or was on AD's the answer to all 3 is no, he blew the job out and actually told me he doesnt really want to work 
and he doesnt seem to think he has a problem (apart from getting money for dope) Love the quote btw :o
Getting, well done on the cards, i dont normally send them out anyway but on occasions that i have sent b,day cards since the split i have signed sov & gang, just found it easier that way. Yay on DD's exam i have bought DS1 a guitar and a teach yourself book for xmas cant wait till he opens it :o My xmas arrangements have been in stone for weeks but am now worrying about X being here on the day for the DC opening their presents, i know im going to be emotional and cant avoid it, am now struggling with do i buy him a gift off DC? He definately wont get me one. oh it's hard 
Kate, dont feel bad about having a down day, we all get them, i've been known to be really focused and strong one minute and a blubbing mess the next, i probably would still call X to rant now but he wouldnt answer the phone to me or would just hang up, it helps to get it out there just do what you need to do you'll be on the way back up in no time and a plan always helps :o
Patience, always with the wise posts :o i read everyones storys and find similarities in so many it's so depressing that they all seem to behave the same way in the end
X was stoned our entire relationship even when i gave birth, i feel sorry for him as i feel he hasnt actually experienced life yet and i too dont want someone who does drugs in my life again thats not something i want for my DC
Rom, soon the good days will outweigh the bad, i havent had chance to read for a while is he still contacting you? i found that contact with my X would drag me down for quite a while but im now finding it easier to pick myself back up and you will too distract and indulge on the bad days and just tell yourself it will pass
Maybee, i have to ill DC's atm unfortunately, hope yours are back to their wonderful selves tomorrow and i think guilt is a powerful weapon that they try to use on us you just have to let it wash over you and find a way to dodge that paticular bullet, try changing the topic of conversation if MIL brings it up again
Googoo, thanks for the compliment :o next time XBF texts, message him back saying sorry who is this? then when he replys just ignore it :o it'll make him think you've already forgot about him and would also be really funny :o thats just my sense of humour though and for goodness sake woman buy an RR you dont know what your missing out on :o