My DH has lied to me

[Baileysandice]

My DH has blatantly lied to me about his Christmas bonus, saying its only £50, well its much more than that its nearer £400. He doesn't know I know this. I gave him the chance to confess to me, I looked him straight in the eye and asked him "so you medan to tell me that your Xmas bonus is just £50?" and he replied yes. Anyway it also transpires he wishes to buy the new iphone4. Hmmn.............. go figure. The reason I know is that I read paper memo regarding amount of bonus, although I only looked at memo coz I thought it was gonna say bout Xmas work party etc.

So what do I do? Do I admit I know? What if he spends money on himself? Do I say nothing?

WWYD??

vainglorious

fantastic word

Beacuse you absolutely cannot assume that just becasue someone has a debt that the family finances are "going down the toilet"

That is not my view. Don't make things up and then claim I think them.

People do not customarily describe their mortgage as them being "in debt" (although clearly it is a type of debt).

I'm presuming, as are you so you can stop being so disingenuous, that there are other debts to be paid off.

And yes, people who are in debt shouldn't spend money on "extras".

Unless they are fools.

In fact, people who don't have a reasonable cushion of savings (3xmonth's outgoings AT LEAST) shouldn't be spending money on extras.

But it's not as bad as doing it when you owe money.

If you have a fixed term loan, you might want to save money rather than paying it off early to avoid penalties.

I'm not making anything up.

I asked a question and you replied ambiguously. So I was seeking clarification. No need to get your knickers in a twist

The fact is that the OP has not come back and clarified what their financial position is it could be £50 debt to her Dad or £5k on credit cards. Without knowing it is very hard to form a view on whether he has been foolish which is IMO forgiveable or nasty and dishonest, which isn't.

OP, come back and stop us bickering....

Truckulent snap, I got called crass too. Not sure if they were mortally offended by me trying to inject a wee bit of humour, or by the fact that DP and I view bonus money as different to salary, and apparently if he loses his job we're going to hell in a handbasket!

DH gets a bonus. He tells me what it is. Generally we agree he can buy himself something as a treat out of it and then the rest of it goes on stuff for the house / repair bills.

But the point is this is a joint decision. I do think DH needs an incentive to work hard - and he doesn't get the same pleasure on doing up the house that I do, he considers it a bore whereas I'm really into it. So it's only fair (in my view, and I appreciate not everyone would share it) that if he says he wants to spend a portion of it on a gadget, that I'm cool with that.

It's the lying about money that's the issue for me with this, pure and simple. I do hope the OP brought it up with her husband.

Come back OP!

Just been talking about this to husband and he said he would never spend 350GBP on me as I´m not worth it

Also, that OP has lies by omission.