unsure where to go with daughter

[Mummiehunnie]

I am a single parent and the youngest has always been hard work, this has been noticed by everyone who has seen her in action, it was always worse with me than with her father however she was the same with him when he was around. He is the most controlling person going and he could not control her either! She is good at school! I took her with the ex a few months before he left to see the gp to get a referral nothing happened, I took her privately and asked if she had adhd or something they said as she sat in school she did not... ex blamed her behaviour on me, our other child is normal range of behaviour...

I am sick to the back teeth of being beaten up, I am sick to the back teeth of being a slave to her physically and emotionally... I feel trapped and the situation is bringing me further down...

I have escaped abuse from other people and I feel I am trapped with her, there is no one else around, they were all abusive and would not help anyways, I have begged twice for social services to take her on short term care, they say they would go to the family, if that happened she would just beat me up more...

i am having therapy for the abuse from the past and the therapist knows the situation, she is trying to help me build up my self esteem.

I had a ed psy come for two years to the house, dd would not engage, I worked on myself...

A friend once suggest dd had oppositional disorder, I am worred getting her counselling as I am scared she will say something wrong, for example if you go on the computer once for half an hour when she is watching tv she will say I am on the computer all the time.... and I am worried that someone will believe her. I am also scared as ex told lies about me to the authorities in the past... I feel trapped I know she needs help, I feel if I get her help she will hang me, and I am sick of being hanged for other people's issues...

I think I have found what has been the cause of dd being as she has since birth, I posed on another thread someone started re the physical disability and was just looking at it for interest and found a post further down the thread, from a professional who gave a link to explain various issues that are related to the underlying condition, omg, so many of those issues relate to dd2... I need to look into this further now for her!

This is the pasting, I can't believe that no one has ever mentined this to me before, oh well I can ask gp to look into it now for us and see if there is some help for dd2... I have some of those issues myself, was diagnosed as dyslexic and dd1 they said was borderline dyslexic, you need so many things and she is one out, so not quite... blooming heck it is something in the brain they don't know what it is that is related to the rest of the condition...

Co-occurring developmental difficulties and disorders
Children with DCD frequently have co-occurring developmental difficulties which impact on the child's everyday function and capacity for learning. These include:

Attention difficulties (ADD and ADHD)
Poor short-term and working memory
Poor emotion self?regulation
Behavioural inhibition and associated anxiety and hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli
Visual-motor difficulties
Specific language difficulties and dyslexia

Sounds like you're onto something and maybe you could get some sort of iep for her in school as a result, or at least get them to take her learning environment seriously. Good Luck! And the SN boards here will surely have support for you.

The criminal record is a small price to pay. If you don't allow the arrest to happen now, one of these days she's going to go and get an even worse criminal record with or without your help. It's worth calling for police intervention, for the sake of her, the sake of people she deals with in later life, and most importantly, for you.