My freinds experiencing this at the moment . Her dcs attack her , verbally insult her and taunt her to the point i think many parents would snap . Ive seen her young dc attack her , and occasionally i have wanted to shake her , to see her cowering from a three foot child seems absurd , but then i remember , not that long ago that was me.
Freind has also just got rid of a nasty ex , shes down , in fact , shes on her knees , beleiving she is useless , fat , ugly , everything is her fault ect . Her childrens verbal insults are like an echo of her ex.
Im quite sure in normal circumstances she would not tolerate this for one second , but for now , she cant cope , she has no confidence at all , and worse , her dcs behaviour make it difficult for visiters meaning shes isolated too. Of course , no one wants to babysit either so she never gets out .
Her neighbours complain about the noise , people in our local area criticize her because she cant control her kids , i can understand it , but it reinforces the idea that she is a crap mum and isnt up to the job , which is what shes frequently been told and now beleives . My one voice has no effect against the many critical ones she hears .
Are you getting out at all Mummie ? Is your daughter involved in any clubs or teams ? If not , is it something you could consider doing together ? Theres fitness clubs , dance classes , martial arts , canoeing , swimming ,all sorts where you can go as a family and often theyre realtiveley cheap.
This helped mine a lot , being part of a team gave her some pride , and it was also important for her to see other people treating me with respect and decency . And trying new things did me good too , i met new people and started to get some confidence back.
I remember going to a social event where people rushed over and warmly greeted me , ill never forget it , dd looked surprised and said , " wow mum , everyone likes you , your really popular ". I think she expected everyone to hate me 
She also received a warm welcome and i know she was surprised that my freinds liked her , having assumed i had told everyone how horrible she was.
I made a list of things i wanted to change / acheive. Some were massive , like learning to drive and going to Uni , others were tiny like making the effort to straighten my hair at least twice a week , but with each thing i started to feel better .
Beware well meaning freinds too , who tell you how they couldnt put up with it , how bad she is , how do you cope ect. Avoid negative talk and negative people . You need people around you who are kind and supportive and tell you what a fab job your doing and how this is only temporary. If no ones saying that to you , say it to yourself , be your own best freind.
Listen to feel good music , feel good tv , watch carefully how the mood is altered in your house . At times i could actually see the misery spreading from person to person. But In the same way my dd could turn the atmosphere negative within seconds , i realised i could turn it positive , it really does catch.
At first i could only do it for 5 min before feeling defeated , then 15 , then a few hours , eventually i could do it for a whole evening . It was hard though , and i often felt i was having to emotionally babysit everyone , but it really did work.
This will get better for you Mummie , look what youve acheived , i see your kind supportive posts frequently on here ,your a nice person and this will turn out ok.