All New Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 9

[WarriorQueen]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

Thanks for the welcome IfYoureHappy and for the empathy. Not been with him for long (only 9 months) but had just got to the properly serious stage - discussing moving in together (slightly complicated as these things are when one is at this time of life) and the like. The XW is bonkers - very manipulative, full-blown drama queen, has always dragged the children into their rows - even when the subject is shall we say "personal" in nature.

Will be back to read up on my fellow sufferers, but hope whatever trial and tribulations are being gone through pass quickly.

Oops ... that eyebrow raised smiley should have been attached to first paragraph and not second ... bloody sleep deprivation.

Hi Midnight -sorry youre going through what you are - but I hope we are synpathetic company

Starting -gld Norm intro was positive -and I can kind of see his point -glad he discussed it with you.

Party - glad youve come to agreement for the moment.

PInk - hi - come on the 27th please :)

Patience - have contributed to Book Club - think its a great idea

City - glad you can find some positive - it starts to really help and the positive becomes more and more

Gettinbg - hope arrangements can be conclude to your maximum advantage and you can move on soon.

Tea - sound a lovely day and yes toddlers! -glad ive moved from that stage now although DD is in her first term at school and tired and emotional can be trying!

Quiet day trying to do lots today! Catching up with lots of work!

Sorry, still being very introspective here. Please bear with me. I'm calling upon my last emergency reserves of strength but I'm getting there. Just trying to regroup and take stock. Feeling quite calm but very tired.

It is xp's 43rd birthday today. He got only one card. And I bought that for ds to give him. I couldn't bring myself to get a "Dad" card spouting the 'what a wonderful father you are' stuff. So I just got a 50p "Someone Special" card. Well xp must think he's something really special to get away with what he did. No present, of course.

Well, darling dumplings, you will be very proud of me.

I went for a walk this morning, I have baked (there are 2 big yummy banana cakes on my kitchen worktop), I have chopped and prepped for a dinner for friends tomorrow night and now I am going to put my feet up and catch up on the Sunday papers. Later, I also plan to finish cleaning out the drawers and wardrobe space left by XH after last week's move (too weepy and distraught to do it that day!) and then to start thinking about work tomorrow.

Has the Book Club thread started - have I missed it?

And did I say earlier to break out the cider on Decree Absolute day.... I meant to say pink champagne!!!

Very wet and windy here but here's hoping everyone has a peaceful remainder of the weekend.

Hugs to all.

Found the book thread - doh - I am so dumb sometimes!!!!

Cider is nice, especially that Bulmers one mmm yum! Although Pink Champagne is very very nice We'll all raise a virtual glass with you when it comes through.

You're sounding really positive and motivated City. I love banana cake, I use a recipe in a good housekeeping recipe book with cultured buttermilk here but it is so delicious. Where do you live again?

Still not caught up. Don't feel well today, hot and cold etc and chair not comfy enogh for very long. Was thinking I'd love the luxury of lying on my bed eating choc and being fand (sp) and hireing someone to read the last few pages of thread to me while I've got my eyes closed. (Unbelievebly lazy cow emoticon).

Love the book club idea and will add my own later.

I was thinking....could we brand our name and branch out ? We could have our own 'Calender Girls' type calender (I would be behind the seens making fairy cakes to cover your lady parts),and we might end up on Oprah !

"All New Road to Recovery For The Recently Ditched" Tips........

Recipies,
Dealing with spiders, teenagers, toddlers, PC probs, car probs, blocked loos, estate agents, landlords, Twunts, the OW, how to hire a hitman, DIY, etc etc.

Also in You Mag today is an article about women who are SAS.......Succsessful, Attractive and Single, just like us !

Wer'e SAS that's us !

The word dumpling always makes me feel fat. In time could we be saslings instead ?

Right then, I've made lunch and cake for DC so I'm going for a bit of a lie down. xxx

BTW, do any of you watch Getting On ? I love it.

Sorry about extra bad spelling, tis the fever ! (remembers Starting's fever )

Hi Pink, I too need to hire the thread reader.

Calendar Girls idea is good, me thinks we may have discussed this previously in v old thread, rings a bell anyway.

I too watch Getting On. its great although keep on falling asleep in the middle.

With you both making cakes Pink and City, methinks I had better get up and make one soon.

Hope you feel better soon Pink. I am in bed only as a result of late night.

Citydoll, I am really, really proud of you!

I'm going to look for the book thread. I've got the one on co-dependency and really need to read it. I have to let go and am finding it so difficult. I've just told him that I want no more contact from him so I'm feeling a bit down. Give me the strength to not contact him.

On the upside, I had a lovely day with my DD. Just been telling romney that I have to look at what I have got and not what I haven't.

What is Getting On? I've never heard of it.

Getting On is an NHS comedy thing. Is on IPlayer.

Karmann, no contact is really empowering BTW.

I guess this is what I will have now Bald Eagle is moving away. Bloody shame for Dc's tho.

Hugs to Happy and lovely boys.

Sorry LC realised missed you out. Am I surprised at only one card? Very sad but telling. Glad you can regroup. I so know that feeling of tiredness. The emotion and the giving are exhausting.

Have done a good range of chores. Nearly made banana cake myself and then decided other chores had priority.

I have found reading about codependency really useful -but I have a few issues on the Melody Beattie book on where the line is drawn betweeen codependency and a normal loving caring relationship (where I think it isnt wrong to depend on the other person to an extent) -will try to find a link which explains what I mean.

I watch no TV really so will maybe try Getting On.

Waves to all other dumplings!

Karmann - Not sure how to send strength to you but here comes loads ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!

And have been asked out tonight to have a Sunday roast with dear, dear friends who have also been with me from day 1! So the weekend is ending beautifully! I have a LIFE for me!

By the way, has anyone looked at a website called SPICELONDON - I started out looking for dining clubs (NOT DATING CLUBS!!!!)and came across this and wanted to check it out. Does anyone know anythuing about them?

Speak later - got to go in the bath and make myself an SAS now!

Hi Happy. I hope I feel empowered tomorrow - right now I am a blubbering mess! Where has all my strength gone? I hate feeling so weak, I'm used to being able to cope.

Sorry to bring the mood down girls - not in a good place right now.

Happy is he moving in with ow then ?

LC sorry things are still pants but you sound more in control now. Has xp moved out yet ? Keep strong and enjoy lots of walks with Wallace.Oh and well done for getting the card even with all this kicking off the last few days

Karmann I think the less contact the better really , I think seeing very little of xh is what has helped me move on a bit quicker and when I have to have even verbal contact of any length I dislike it

Pink yes I know what you mean about the connotations of "dumpling" SASlings sounds a lot more kick arse doesnt it. Sort of like Charlies Angels . Sorry you are feeling below par keep snug and warm and send me some of your shortbread if thats what you have been baking !!

Citydoll . Just 7 days later you can have a day like this ? How well does that bode well for the long term . Enjoy the emotional peace while it lasts and file it in your brain so that in future low moments you know how you can feel

Midnight welcome to our world

Partytime hope it works out for you with your man

Hope everyone else is well hello to Tea Sov Mumfun WQ Queen Patience Doris Starting Meemar and any other lurking dumplings.

Funny day today went for a long walk with a friend listening to her tales of arguments etc with her dh and thought glad its not me.

I must admit though that after yet another night of xh dreams [fed up with them now emoticon] I woke up and for the first time since he left it felt odd he wasnt here . Do you think its a delayed reaction ladies . Actually I read Meemars link and the stuff about the subconscious mind needing lots of time to readjust and I think thats true for me.

My friend said she thinks I have done so well and handled all the ow and her family stuff really well. I suppose I have but its easy to forget that bit and get frustrated when you feel a bit off.

Karmann look at Meemars link from a couple of pages ago. It will pass just ride with the storm

Thanks getting, I will take a look now. Tonight I feel like I am back to square one. We've been in touch every day since May so there was never really a clean break. No more - no more contact!

Wow in touch every day ? No wonder you are struggling to move on , how can you grieve losing someone when you are in daily contact with them ? Is it dc related the contact ?

I think quite often having a down few days signals moving on a bit further when you come out of it , it has to get worse before getting better kind of thing.

No DCs together. It was just us at home so I'm wondering if it's just the lonliness that's making me want to stay in touch.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, not been able to move on because he's always been there. I will move on. It's made worse by the fact that his car is round the corner every day, I pass him often in the car and he is just around the area all the time. I need to get angry.

Midnight just re reading your post and I see it say he will only return to her if its for the right reasons . That must have been awful to hear and no wonder you are shocked at the level of feeling he still has for her. I suppose he gave his promise that this would never happen because he didnt envisage her coming back wanting him after divorcing him.

Well its cold comfort to you but just from that post I suspect she wont treat him well or respect him for going back and he'll end up hurt again.

I think you are doing the right thing to get out of the mix

I see my xh in the car all the time too but I am used to it now however a move to Carlisle wouldnt be unwelcome

Seriously Karmann I think I can see why you want daily contact but why does he ? So sorry if you have already explained but is he keeping you dangling in case he does decide he wants to get together with you ?