All New Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 9

[WarriorQueen]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity

hee hee - we are all completely snowed in here in rural northumberland. just tried to get the car out and as I was reversing quite quickly my neighbour was also reversing quite quickly out of his drive and we hit each other! by some miracle neither car has a scratch - someone is looking out for me :)
virtual party sounds good. not going to get drunk on my own though - that way madness lies...

and I'm being REALLY strong about exbf and I was SO angry last night but this morning I just feel duped. how could I have thought he was so nice and kind when he sends a song about how he doesn't love me to loads of people on facebook and to a record company? what have I done to deserve THAT? and why am I such a complete arse when it comes to men? there....better :)

I would just delete him quietly from your fb. It's just messing with your head seeing what he's up to on fb. Harder to check up on him once deleted and hopefully over time that will help you heal and move on.

what do you do with ur wheelie bin in this weather,do you leave it out til they empty it ?It is bin day today but i am the only one from my close that has put there bin out ,neighbours have I did check it was right day LOL ,never had a wheelie bin ,not since 1995 so all advice welcome x

Check council website for details on amended collections due to adverse weather conditions?

I'd leave it out if no mention on their website just in case iyswim?

Hi all

Snowy here. Should I get up?

Have skimmed thread but hard to retain info as you said Tea. More coffee may indeed be the answer.

Getting, so pleased you are not letting XH bother you.

GooGoo, may play tunes for you tomorrow for your birthday. I have to try to get in the right mood first!

Sov, angry with your XH.

LC, I feel like you have a lot going on in your world and am trying to send you peaceful vibes.

Am afraid my world seems to be disintegrating ATM. Felt hugely sorry for myself last night but perked up this am. DS situation becoming increasingly scary, may or may not be concluded by Xmas. Dad's funeral arrangements all dragging on and still 10 days til funeral. All involves so much prep and discussion with various family sensitivities appearing. In true DJHAPPY style have been googling funeral tunes which is interesting but after a while gets a big sad. Loving Tears from Heaven / Eric Clapton, can't link atm. Prob. not suitable though. Finding some peace through a bit of praying but not too good at it yet! XH not come back to me re divorce settlement. Was optimistic but not so sure now - he's off to OW next week.

Waves to all I have missed....

Happy ,i started handing the big stuff over to my higher power this year and it helped me alot re things i have no control over.Wishing you peace thru the funeral arrangements .Big hugs
just bought lots of chocolate and xmas biscuits for the kids to decorate ,planning the most laid back indulgent evening every ,still a bit stuck because of the snow so have stopped fighting it and given in to magazines crispa and lemonade ,thanks for the bin advice x

Happy - you are doing an anazing job with so much pressure around you. Remember that we are here for you and you are not superwoman - you are allowed to be scared and down. Don't worry about XH in all of this - that situation will resolve in time. He's off with stupid OW so don't give him another thought if you can do that whilst you have so much else to worry/be sad about. I know it's easy for me to say that. I have a lot of respect for you.
I'm going to post a song/songs up for you. Some beautiful reflective ones. Much love.
Urban - just eaten a cream cake - it's comfort food all the way here (and the odd cheeky Silk Cut and Diet coke if truth be told).

Happy - don't know if you know Nick Drake but this is my favourite song by him. And the little video that goes with it is taken from a film about his life.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKJQZRol7Io

Oh Happy Sending you ((hugs)) Eric Clapton wrote it for his 4 yr old son who died and I think it is a beautiful song,

Only read Happy's post but will try to catch up now.

Had a bl**dy argument with DS (via FB messaging) over something totally, totally stupid and now feeling so weepy and emotional and fed up and in "WHY", "WHY", "WHY" mood all over again. The backache does not help and I absolutely hate my life at the moment! I absolutely hate it!

Maybe it is time to call it a day.

Feel for you Happy. I had to organise funerals for my mum and my dad with no help from anyone (brother not capable). Fortunately they both specified no hymns, no service and no mourners so it was pretty easy .

Hope things straighten out with your ds soon. It's no picnic being young these days. I don't remember life being so hard when I was that age.

But it's such a bugger when all these life events suddenly happen all at once, isn't it? I'm just waiting for one of the older ones to tell me I'm going to be a grandma. That's about the only thing left now .

Citydoll, you still there?

Yes

So what has happened with your ds?

Citydoll - what do you mean "call it a day"? Just remember, when you are going through an emotional turmoil, everything feels worse than it really is. You say yourself that the argument was over something really stupid - he will think that too and you WILL be able to sort things out really easily. It's just blown out of proportion in your head my love because you are upset about everything else AND in a lot of pain. Try and get to the docs if you can. Please know that you are not alone. I hate my life too sometimes. My fire is broken, I've had a car crash today and I'm going to be snowed in on my own tomorrow as I turn 38! But it will get better - and so will your situation. Keep posting - we are here for you, thinking of you and remember: YOU ARE DOING SO BLOODY WELL! Much love x :)

Citydoll - Googoo is right. Today is shit but there will be better days. Your ds needs you.

Googoo - car crash? You ok?

Ok Citydoll you arent even going to consider calling anything a day over someone who was too miserly to pay for a clothes rail on the removal van and came back the next day for his clothes.

Have a very long hard gut wrenching sob and know that you probably have many more of those ahead but thats ok and you will get through.

Rsvp

Hi LC - hope your son is still recovering well - been thinking about you today.
Car crash wasn't serious - it was like something from Faulty Towers! I reversed quite quickly to get out of snow on street just as next door neighbour (who's a vicar) reversed extremely quickly out of his garage and up his drive. We crrrrruuunched but amazingly neither car was damaged. And my six year old (who was on the pavement with childminder's 17yo and 4 yo brother) was shouting "Mum, that was ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" which was quite hilarious.
Citydoll - you ok? Keep it together now, if you want to talk you can...

"Call it a day" meaning I suppose quitting my job, selling the house and moving far, far away from civilisation!

When my exh left, I had lots of dreams about living in a commune with other single mums...then I had lots of dreams about living a the fells with my penniless bloke and his set of outcast friends. Thing is, going away doesn't solve your problems - they come with you in your head!
Have a monologue rant and a good cry - that's what I do (usually in my shed outside back door).

Commune with MN single mums

penniless bloke googoo would that by any chance be the bard of FB ?

hahaha! loving it getting! yes...twas him! Googoo's muffin top shakes with laughter (I can't find how to do those arrow things!)

This was the life I thought I was going to have - enjoy a new lease of life with XH when DS started university in September. We would see shows, eat out, stay in hotels, take wonderful holidays (without having to pay school holiday prices!), do what we wanted without worrying about homework and school uniforms etc. etc. and I suppose, a dream is shattered. And not only is the dream shattered, but the marriage in the last 6 (I am not sure) years has been a facade and a bl**dy mirage!

And my DS now has his own life and does not need his Mum anymore (except for money, of course) and I do not want to be needy emotionally, but he is all I have at the moment. And it is not so easy to let go and he feels obliged to make sure I am alright when his flatmates do not have to because their parents are not bl**dy divorced!

And I see OW's face staring with a sultry, come-hither look on her FB page and I JUST WANT TO SMASH HER FACE IN!!!!!

Sorry, I am the most gentle, non-violent peaceful person I know and I do not what came over me!

he's messaged me twice today. both with kisses. bard that he is!