How do you feel about prostitution?

[BillieH]

Hello everyone, I have name changed for this(no sinister reason) but i do post on here from time to time.

Anyway, I would love to know what your thoughts are on prostitution. I don't mean political views and I dont really want to get into a discussion on whether girls are trafficked, pimped, druggies. Just what you think as a whole.

I am talking about girls who willing become escorts or work in massage parlours under the guise of 'masseuses' when really they provide extras.

What do you think of men who see them? Are that losers, sad and lonely, 'sex addicts'or what? Would you think your dp/dh was cheating if he saw a prostitute.

I ask just out of curiosity, I do not think my dp has ever visited a prostitute! Also, apparently 1 in 10 men see prostitutes. Do you agree with this. If this is true what hope do we all have eh?

My take is that i belive some girls use their looks to earn money an 'easy' way. By easy, I mean that they do not have to train for yrs to get a decent paid job, or they do not have to work 9 to 5 in an office when they can earn a wks wages in a day.

I have asked my own dp and he beleives that there is something missing from a relationship if a man sees a prostitute.Obviously its different with a single man. He also thinks that some men have issues sexually with their wives/partners and are inhibited. Therefore, that is why they pay for sex acts that they can't ask for at home. These are exactly my thoughts.Anyone agree or disagree?

I'd like your thoughts or experiences!

Ok Dittany, digging a little deeper...I feel desperately sorry for the girls who are 'forced' into it by circumstances. When the Suffolk strangler took the lives of those girls (I say girls because they shouldn't be defined by what they did)I was appalled by the people in the press who intimated that they somehow deserved it, or that it was less horrific because of what they did.
I have no strong feelings either way about women who go into it through choice; that is their right and I respect it. I feel no malice or disgust towards them, and neither do I champion their cause. As I said, I sit on the fence.
So far it hasn't touched my life, so in reality I have no idea how I would feel, but from where I stand at the moment I am ambivalent.

Dittany, with all due respect, there has been spite coming from both sides.

dittany, can you point out the pro-pimp posts? I can't recall any.

Oldlady...I was just looking for those.

Malifence

"They also collude in the oppression of hugely vulnerable women by virtue ( and I use that word very loosely) of their chosen profession."

That is absolutely untrue and one of the most offensive statements I have EVER read. I am an activist, working towards the decriminalisation of the sex industry so that there will be regulations which can be enforced. No woman in her right mind would ever support ( morally or otherwise ) the pond scum who traffick women against their will and make their lives a misery.

What we need to do is bring prostitution out of the dark ages, it is because there is so much stigma attached that the underground activity of trafficking thrives. Women are afraid to come forward and report attacks and seek help, because they will forever be on police file as a "known prostitute". This will stop them applying for other jobs in the future.

As a woman who was "outed" I felt first hand the stinging hypocrisy of the do-gooders who thought they were morally superior to me. Since then I have worked hard to gain recognition for the women who choose to enter our profession and more importantly, I have campaigned for better legislation to protect the women who are forced into it.

Any number of posters can make any amount of assumptions about me or my fellow prostitutes but you have NO RIGHT to suggest for one minute that I or any of my fellow prostitutes condone or even collude in the oppression of fellow women. To suggest that we approve of women being treated like little more than cattle is nothing short of disgusting.

dittany, you're making things up now.

That said some would say that brothel/agency owners are pimps, I am fully in support of the ones that look after their girls, do not make sure they are doing things they do not want to do, providing a safe work environment off the streets, and teaching them how to work safer in the industry.
Those kinds of places will welcome regulation.

In fact, dittany, I'd say what you said is "spiteful dishonest propaganda".

Excellent post, escortandmum. :)

*should read DO make sure

After reading Sabrina's postings on here, it is very obvious that not all prostitutes are working for pimps. Also MissHoneyMoon seems to have a mind (and opinion) of her own.

I am so glad I am not of the younger generation now if the postings on here are a true and proper thoughts of them.

Grow up girls and act your age. Not all men are women haters ............ perhaps it is exactly the opposite ............ perhaps they love women ........... the more the better. And not all women are men haters.

Perhaps you have been standing next to a prostitute in the queue at Tesco's, how would you know? Do they have horns? Do they all dress like 'tarts' - of course not, many are normal looking people like you or I. Perhaps it is time to stop 'labelling' and let them get on with the job they do - and that is all it is, no matter what anyone else on here thinks.

I love the respectful way you talk to me, dittany. So pro-woman. :)

Dittany, you chose to enter into this by using the term wanky regarding my posts.

The Wgs who have posted here have quite clearly not tried to "portray themselves as the voice for all women in prostitution". They have spoken for themselves. Why do you make these things up?

What are you on Dittany? Who's having a go? You asked why I wasn't picking apart anyone else's posts apart from yours; yours was directed at me so I am directing mine in response to you. And I haven't had any rug pulled from underneath me. I think there are a lot of pretenders on this thread, but I'm not one of them.

ditany you really really are selective reading our posts to suit your own agenda!

Where on earth are we saying that we are the voice for all prostitution and disagreeing with you that there are some woman in really really desperate situations, where is your solution to it other than make it harder for them?

Lets see some really constructive posts on your thoughts of how this can be tackled how we can ALL as WOMANKIND make this life easier for those less fortunate than them.

And I don't mean me! I think I am one of the most fortunate people I know!

So do prostitutes and women with an opinion all fall under the same hat of 'dishonest' Dittany? Anyone who doesn't agree with you is wrong?

Sabrina...abso bloody lutely. Whatever happened to solidarity? Women should be sticking together. I never believed that there could be female misogynists, but this thread proved me wrong.

This is an internet forum that is loosely moderated and relies on its members to post honestly and report suspected misdemeanours, trolls and sockpuppets. There is an element of trust involved.

If we suspend suspicion that the prostitute posters on this thread are all different individuals, let's provide a summary of their arguments for what some of them call a "profession".

• That it is preferable for them to do this for a living rather than live off state benefits that are paid for by "our husbands' hard earned wages".
• That their clients are just as likely to be our husbands, our fathers, grandfathers, brothers and friends and that there is therefore no guilt taking money out of a family's budget to pay them, whereas by implication there would be guilt taking money off the state, paid for by (bizarrely) only male wages.
• That many men resort to using a prostitute because they don't get affection, love and sex at home.
• That men are paying them for services other than sex; friendship, cuddles, interesting intellectual conversation, massages.
• That they are using their brains and humanity for their work and that clients would really book them for a skilled massage, a cuddle, a conversation or an intellectual debate, if sex were not also part of the deal.
• That despite some of them having adult children in work, no current childcare issues, partners to share the load etc., they have no other choice than to prostitute themselves to "feed their family."
• That they feel no responsibility for working in an industry that because of its very existence, harms the most vulnerable in our society and has links to criminality, suffering and abuse.
• That men who use prostituted women are not women-haters at all and that the existence of prostitution has got nothing to do with a patriarchal society; that this is a "feminatzi" argument that they cannot subscribe to.
• That the very fact that there are fewer examples of "choice" male prostitutes amongst low-paid male workers in the UK and comparitively low female demand for paid sex, this is not a gendered issue.

Now, when I look at that summary, I can see why feminist men and women would be able to dismantle every delusion bit by bit.

As a feminist and a woman, I have no more difficulty criticising female behaviour than I would a man's. I absolutely believe that women damage other women, by their behaviour and their actions. Consequently I believe that prostitutes who sell sex as a choice, like these posters insist they do, are guilty of damaging society and contributing directly to the patriarchical society in which they live.

Every single time one of them is subjected to routine and casual sexism, whether it's servicing the car at the garage, or getting worse pay and career opportunities than a male, they themselves suffer directly from the society they are helping to prop up by selling sex for money.

Prostitution has no place in an equal society, where men and women are treated equally for their individual qualities and skills - and not their gender attributes.

Whether you buy it or not Dittany matters not to me.