How do you feel about prostitution?

[BillieH]

Hello everyone, I have name changed for this(no sinister reason) but i do post on here from time to time.

Anyway, I would love to know what your thoughts are on prostitution. I don't mean political views and I dont really want to get into a discussion on whether girls are trafficked, pimped, druggies. Just what you think as a whole.

I am talking about girls who willing become escorts or work in massage parlours under the guise of 'masseuses' when really they provide extras.

What do you think of men who see them? Are that losers, sad and lonely, 'sex addicts'or what? Would you think your dp/dh was cheating if he saw a prostitute.

I ask just out of curiosity, I do not think my dp has ever visited a prostitute! Also, apparently 1 in 10 men see prostitutes. Do you agree with this. If this is true what hope do we all have eh?

My take is that i belive some girls use their looks to earn money an 'easy' way. By easy, I mean that they do not have to train for yrs to get a decent paid job, or they do not have to work 9 to 5 in an office when they can earn a wks wages in a day.

I have asked my own dp and he beleives that there is something missing from a relationship if a man sees a prostitute.Obviously its different with a single man. He also thinks that some men have issues sexually with their wives/partners and are inhibited. Therefore, that is why they pay for sex acts that they can't ask for at home. These are exactly my thoughts.Anyone agree or disagree?

I'd like your thoughts or experiences!

Interestingly, my post further up was deleted. Fair enough if it offended someone?s sensibilities although it certainly contained no offending language. Strange so that there are pages and pages that contain vicious personal insults that are left unchallenged?

Ahhh....punternet must be depleted right now all the prostitutes on here.

I am a SAHM, I also have a business designing and manufacturing clothes for children. I am very proud of the equal relationship I have in which I care for our children and my husband goes out to work. It works for us, I don't expect people who tie their sexual value up in money to understand this concept. The only reason I mentioned money is that msmont was implying that her personalised (eeewww) number plate was something to work for and the other prostitutes who have talked about banking/money as if this would make it worthwhile. 'It' being selling themselves.

And to put the baking into context:

What you spout on here is mythical nonsense which undermines the work of hundreds of charity workers to help victims of prostitution. I bake cakes for a charity that help street workers, they like homemade cake because it just may be the only time during their week they can feel like a human being.

Posie, we're here and we're posting - how can we be "mythical"?

Are you deliberately being stupid?

I'm not a prostitute, I'm an accountant. I'm just interested in your flawed logic, specifically the bit where you blame all prostitutes for the misery of trafficked women. You haven't actually answered that bit yet, you just keep saying 'I don't expect people like YOU to understand how wonderful I am, being married and baking cakes'.

No Posie, are you? You repeatedly refer to the "myth" of "happy hookers" - we're here, we're happy hookers, ergo we are not mythical, we exist.

I haven't blamed prostitutes for trafficking women, I'm blaming them for this nonsense they are trying to sell. This story of the 'happy hooker' helps noone. One of the deluded said that the biggest danger to prostitutes was middle class women....

quizling....hiding behind a name change is cowardly.

Afghan women believed they were liberated, it doesn't make it true.

Posie, we're not selling our stories, you're getting them for free. :)

Um, I'm not 'hiding' behind a namechange. I regularly change my name on here, as would anyone with any sense who doesn't want strangers knowing more about them than their closest friends. I think if you search you'll find another, very boring, thread that I started about fertility. I think I also contributed to something about facebook, and one about HPV. Fascinating stuff.

This is the internet. You don't know who anyone is. Deal with it.

And way back, you kept asking 'But what about trafficked women?' as if they should know the answer or were responsible for it.

I suppose whether Afghan women consider themselves liberated rather depends on a cultural point of view. I have heard that women we consider to be oppressed because they are largely confined to domestic duties, actually think western women are more oppressed because we have to go out to work. Neither opinion is right or wrong.

We, however, are western women who have chosen to work as prostitutes in the western world. We are not "mythical" creatures, and we're telling you the truth about our lives as we experience them.

Why is this so hard for you to understand?

we're not saying every woman could or should work as prostitutes; it's not a line of work that suits everyone. I couldn't be a surgeon, because I'm squeamish about stuff like that.

In fact, musing upon it, who are we to define "liberation" for Afghan women? It's a bit arrogant, really, kind of like non-prostitutes telling prostitutes the "truth" about our lives.

quizling, you don't think prostitution further objectifies women then?

No arrogance in knowing that these women were oppressed. Muslim women think we're oppressed (some) because we trade on our sexuality, actually.

How do you know they're oppressed? How do you even define the word?

let's see, based on gender only they were denied basic human rights.

Who decided what "basic human rights" are? Afghan women, or the west?

Seriously?

For those on here who've quoted statistics...

"Lies, damned lies, and statistics" is a phrase describing the persuasive power of numbers, particularly the use of statistics to bolster weak arguments, and the tendency of people to disparage statistics that do not support their positions."

I'll tell of personal experience. I recently took part in a study of hookers and I was asked about my background; this naturally included information about my parents. My father was of the Victorian era (nee 1891) and a school teacher to boot, brought up himself with the notion of strict discipline.

On hearing of the punishment myself and my sister received for misdemeanours, my interviewer asked if I considered myself to have been 'an abused child'. She asked a leading queston and was itching to tick the "YES" box that would have fitted her theories.

Treat statistics with the suspicion they deserve

I do think it objectifies women, but I think it's a symptom of that rather than a cause. Men have been able to 'buy' women for most of human history. It's only in the past 40 years or so that a woman has been able to exist totally independently, and not be held back through not being married.

I do not like prostitution politically. But if someone is truly happy doing it (and I don't think I or anyone else can tell someone we don't know that they are not happy) then I really can't be bothered to get aerated about it or tell prostitutes that they are a damage to society or whatever.

Yes married men use prostitutes and no this is not good. But the damage to the relationship was done before the guy even got into bed. His opinion of his wife and women in general had already progressed to the point where he wished to pay for sex, and that is all the damage regardless of whether or not he actually handed over cash imo. The actual presence or existence of prostitutes is irrelevant.

Actually prostitution reinforces the idea that women are property that can be bought and sold, it dehumanises women and reduces them to object.

No, it doesn't. My clients certainly don't see me as an object.

We are not bought and sold like slaves, we sell our social and sexual skills.

Yes but only men who are already of that opinion will use prostitutes, so it's not actually changing anything. It's not infecting the minds of perfectly alright men and making them think 'Hey, I could buy a woman. That would be cool!' If he has that thought it's because he's already a bit of a knob.

They sought out a service, not you, you could be anyone.

How can it "dehumanise" us when the very reason our clients see us is for our humanity?

quiz....prostitution is not just a symptom, it's also part of the cause.