How do you feel about prostitution?

[BillieH]

Hello everyone, I have name changed for this(no sinister reason) but i do post on here from time to time.

Anyway, I would love to know what your thoughts are on prostitution. I don't mean political views and I dont really want to get into a discussion on whether girls are trafficked, pimped, druggies. Just what you think as a whole.

I am talking about girls who willing become escorts or work in massage parlours under the guise of 'masseuses' when really they provide extras.

What do you think of men who see them? Are that losers, sad and lonely, 'sex addicts'or what? Would you think your dp/dh was cheating if he saw a prostitute.

I ask just out of curiosity, I do not think my dp has ever visited a prostitute! Also, apparently 1 in 10 men see prostitutes. Do you agree with this. If this is true what hope do we all have eh?

My take is that i belive some girls use their looks to earn money an 'easy' way. By easy, I mean that they do not have to train for yrs to get a decent paid job, or they do not have to work 9 to 5 in an office when they can earn a wks wages in a day.

I have asked my own dp and he beleives that there is something missing from a relationship if a man sees a prostitute.Obviously its different with a single man. He also thinks that some men have issues sexually with their wives/partners and are inhibited. Therefore, that is why they pay for sex acts that they can't ask for at home. These are exactly my thoughts.Anyone agree or disagree?

I'd like your thoughts or experiences!

but those 8 weeks are spend in jail posie haha.. or an old caravan

A laptop has less memory.

Msmont, let's be honest I have a greater income than you.....vulgar to discuss money but really, you think because you've sold your soul that means you have more than someone that doesn't?

good for you

Still avoiding.

I have plenty posie I am happy
you dont seem to be...
now we can carry this on until I next go on holiday or until I get bored of you
I wonder what will come first

Still boring ..posie X

Posie was it you who posted a while ago upset because you thought your husband was using escorts? Just wondering, you seem to have a lot of vitriol from the women themselves when actually sex trafficking would be less of a problem if the government gave a crap about women's lives, let alone foreign women... maybe write to your MP instead of baking cakes.

No, it wasn't me. I'm shocked that a charity looking after abused prostitutes would be something people would like me not to support....how strange. Who says I am not in contact with my MP?

msmont....you won't address any of the issues surrounding prostitution.

Charity is all very well, but it's often a bit like pouring water through a sieve. I don't think you can really say that prostitutes who are happy with their decision are directly responsible for the exploitation of women who didn't choose. That's like saying women who are happily married are responsible for women being in shit abusive marriages, because they make it look like a good thing (because it IS for them).

Being a prostitute obviously can be alright for some people who are happy with it (although I reckon that's probably a minority of women) and it can be a horrendous experience. But I think that is the responsibility of pimps and men who are willing to use trafficked girls (and also governments for not being tougher) and no one else.

From the sounds of it, the prostitutes on here have clients who like to have a conversation with someone intelligent and eloquent, and have a luxurious experience. They probably aren't the sort of person who would particularly want to have sex with a sad-looking traffficked girl who can't speak English very well.

I can't be bothered to get all censorious about people's life decisions. I don't want to have sex for money, I don't even like wearing a bikini on the beach. If my partner went to a prostitute I would dump him. I don't like that men know they can buy women's time and bodies. But I still don't see that as a reason to be horrible to individuals that do provide that service.

Perpetuating a myth and trolling on here. quizling.....seriously you think the difference between a moment of human contact and none is worthless? I don't and nor do the charity.

It's not worthless but it's not going to change anything. There's nothing WRONG with charity, but it's not going to achieve anything on its own.

The argument isn't really about charity, though. You're using terms like 'decency' and 'right' as if they are anything other than completely subjective terms. The real issue is whether the fact that there are prostitutes who are happy with their life has anything to do with women being trafficked. You can say 'they are perpetuating a myth' but let's be honest, there is a massive difference between girls who are trafficked and women who have made a conscious choice. I think men who use trafficked girls know full well that they are miserable, but don't care. Them saying 'oh but look women do like it' and indicating msmont etc. is just an excuse. If that excuse wasn't there they would find another one. The fact is, they like doing it and they don't care. Nothing will change that, until there are proper consequences for having sex with trafficked women. And that is up to the government and the police to sort out, not individual women.

Thank you quizling for posting a polite, respectful and very well reasoned argument. The thread was started by someone with some weird double bluff agenda. But we are nevertheless debating on it. The original post asks about thoughts on prostitution, the work carried out by those not coerced and out of free will.

Your points regarding responsibility are great. I would like to add that responsibility for victims is something the whole of society has to take. Exploitation and slave labour of the most vulnerable is sadly not reduced to the sex industry. How would the whole of the hospitality industry actually function without those paid well below the minimum wage? Equally, the same goes for the garment/fashion industry as does agriculture. Ever wonder how many of the fresh seasonal produce is picked by those paid a fair wage or in trafficked gangs? Is it then so hard to follow the conclusion that those involved in the industry who are keen to set ethical standards are actually best place to work together with the legislative and executive to tackle this problem. Do those victims seriously benefit from some condescending charity baking? Is the person who is trying to set up a fashion label and is sourcing ethically produced raw materials and hoping to set up a cooperative of sewers to deal with directly still directly responsibility for the exploitation and horrendous work practices of the overall fashion industry? I am in the process of just doing that and am setting some of my earnings aside each month. Sadly, this means I have no time for baking.

Again a lot of urban myths are bandied about not helped by figures that are outdated and incorrect being brandied about. The real figure of trafficked workers is fairly small given the vast home grown and willing foreign providers. There is a steady influx of foreign women who join agencies and work for a set time to earn a maximum of money. If we worked in that way we would burn out within months. But it is a quick cash injection solution for many non UK women. Likewise many of the escorts are students that are trying to study without massive debts. There are also a lot of women I personally know who fund further studies.

This job really does not suit everyone; you need to be resilient to manipulation (and incredibly hurtful attacks by a lot of women mostly). You need to feel good about yourself and your body. Many of us are far from tall blond models. There is a big market for mature women in all shapes and sizes. You also need to respect yourself and those that come to see you. You have to be non judgmental and have some basic kindness. And most importantly you really have to actually want to do it. A lot of my best friends simply cannot imagine or ever feel like they would like to do this job themselves. I totally respect their choices as they do mine.

As for accusing anyone willing to engage in a civil debate despite not wanting or ever imagining being in this industry is called having an adult mature discussion not trolling. Just because there is such a level of ill will and vitriol by those loud and abusive posters should not take their behaviour as bench mark on to how behave on a public forum.

You like to believe that we are drug taking, disease addled skum of the earth that are emotionally damaged, pimped,having been abused/raped or whatever other nice little clichés you are enjoying bring out because then you can justify it in your heads.

You have been shown educated, down to earth woman/mothers/sisters/daughters/aunties/grandmothers that do this work through CHOICE -
It is FACT is no matter how small a percentage, your men/ fathers/brothers/ uncles/sons/ grandfathers who are I am sure you will agree are normal decent men, come to us for reasons not really that hard to understand.

Those poor unfortunate woman as you have trotted out for display for petty point scoring were a part of this industry no matter how far removed they are from our personal reality.
As a WOMAN and a prostitute I feel deeply for them and their families.
There are many prostitutes and punters that campaign for safer working conditions, safe zoning, to be able to work safely in pairs in flats off the street than you will ever want to believe, as usual you are speaking of stuff that you have no idea about.

And please don't make me laugh you bake cakes for prostitutes!!! You despise prostitutes that much is evident.

I'm glad you agree MHM. Unfortunately living off the exploitation of others is now unavoidable. Yes you can try to buy ethically produced food etc. but try buying a Fair Trade mobile phone or laptop (or even PC). You can't, because they are all made by people in the Far East getting paid 10p per hour. In this world, it is not possible to live without relying on the exploitation of others. If you want to know how it started, study the British Empire.

I really don't think blaming prostitutes who are happy with their choice for the problems of trafficked women is reasonable or valid. I refuse to believe that it's possible to have sex with someone and NOT know that they are trafficked/on hard drugs. Therefore it is not relevant that there are 'happy hookers' or whatever, trafficked prostitution is a completely different beast.

Again quizling I agree with you regarding the sheer impossibility to live truly ethical if you are following a modern lifestyle. This ranges from the food industry, such as the monopoly of Nestle and Masterfoods to every single consumer product. I cannot be smug about resisting the temptation to get an Ipad since my laptop probably is not build under much better conditions. Trying to consume as conscientiously as possible is not cheap. Even a stay in the hospital will involve unwittingly exploiting those providing services at the bottom labour rung. That said I try and make as many positive choices as possible.

Somehow I feel that those customers availing themselves to bargain priced sex services may simply not even think about at what human cost this service is provided and frankly not really care. I have likened those working in cut price brothels to the human equivalent of battery hens. Again there is where taking personal responsibility for ?consumer choices? come back into the discussion. I do however believe you can be an ethical sex worker.

There are some very ethical brothel owners also tho, establishments that make sure their girls are well looked after, do not provide services that they do not want to do, and are providing a safe environment for the girls to work in, perhaps it is a little production line, but that is where these girls want to be to maximise earning potential a sort of training ground to go independent. Many a good indi girl has started off in a brothel at some stage, some good some bad.
Getting into decriminalisation like they have in NZ is a whole other debate.
Reading some reports on PN does make my skin crawl, generally it is from bargain basement hunters that want all services and more for as little money as possible.

"You're using terms like 'decency' and 'right'"
quizling.....

No I haven't.

I don't despise vulnerable women. I can't abide this ridiculous notion that prostitutes are on an equal footing with the punter, the coercion may not be obvious but every prostitute is a victim of being coerced. And this new wave of how we all are party to exploitation is laughable....

Good gracious you really are clutching at straws, doesn't that tell you something?

Oh Posie, really, we're not coerced at all. Why do you think you know our lives better than we do?

I can't abide this ridiculous notion that prostitutes are on an equal footing with the punter, the coercion may not be obvious but every prostitute is a victim of being coerced

I will remind myself of that next time I do my banking.

Remind you of the grunters who insist that we're all liars (because we use fake names) and therefore cannot be trusted about anything, at all, Sabrina?

But Sabrina....unlike you I do not have monetary value yet still have more money, funny isn't it?

LOL yes well there are a few of those out there, luckily I seem to not attract that type.

You don't have monetary value? You don't work for a living, then Posie?