am i overreacting?

[muffymk]

ok name changer here but i do not post very often..but hey ho

I have been with partner for 9 years we have 1 child and I have previous 3 from a marriage.

well my partner has a history of cheating once with a hooker, a woman he works with and a girl from the internet. well thought we sorted it out.

received letter today for him but i opened it as i had a 'feeling' anyway it was a letter from a bank confirming that he now has new bank account??

well i questioned him on why and he told me that he didnt want me monitoring on what he spends????

1. we have joint bank account and he pays bills and so do i.

2. he did have his own account but he wanted to change it to joint

3. monitoring??? when he said this my alarm bells rang

I told him to leave and he has ...to quietly as he never left when i found out about his cheating..which is a lot worse

am i paraniod?? i feel so sad that i wasted so much on this bloke

I thought the Samaritans weren't allowed to give advice and just listen

sorry, I know they don't give advice and just listen, I was typing quickly so that muffy knew there was someone here

I have to go pick up from after school club now but will be back later

keep posting, muffy

well she did that i dunno what i need

apart from a 6 month sleep.lol

They do just listen and TBH that is often very helpful because it allows you to work out what you really think - as well as it being more comforting, sometimes, to talk to someone who will not say 'Well what you ought to do is....' but will just sympathise with you.
Sorry you are feeling so shit Muffy. You are well rid of this knob and every day will hurt a little less, honestly.

rita...I have pm'ed you

You probably do need sleep!
Did you know that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture? It may be worth speaking with your GP, without sleep and food it's nigh on impossible to function.

Please speak with your RL friends muffy. Allow them to help you as you would them x

Time will be your healer, muffy. You cannot hurry it. You just have to endure it for a while. What is the alternative??...your kids need mummy to just function on a very basic level...the rest can come later.

Have you rung your GP and made an appt?

Can you get the kids looked after for a couple of hours while you go and see a friend ?

Or get the kids babysat while you just sleep ?

AF gives very good advice.

You take care, and remember that you will be fine. It will hurt, and you will feel drained for a long time, but you will come out the other side happier and stronger, without the baggage of a lying twat of a man.

:)

i just feel so shit and also i have to deal with the fincial side of things

changin tax credits from couple to single how long does that take?

my head spinning

thank you all for your support

for practical issues, the lone parents (sorry!!!) section would be a wealth of knowledge

I've just changed tax credits muffy and it took a few weeks to kick in, no more. If the claim was in your name then perhaps less?

Keep posting here, I wish I had when I was going through this.

FWIW my tax credits changes have been quick.

You just have to keep taking steps forward, no matter how small (and that might be getting some food in ourself)

Please tell your RL friends, they will step up.

Just wanted you to know there is someone else rooting for you here as well.

Chin up, you WILL get through this.

I have never had any problems at all with my tax credits, took a matter of weeks.

I know how awful you must be feeling right now and I can't add anything to AF's great advice. You WILL feel better though.

My ex moved out earlier this year for good and although I was glad to see him go, the first few nights were just terrible. On top of that my Dog had to go in overnight to have his teeth out on the first night alone! I felt so totally alone after dc had gone to bed, no friends or family near either. Got through it though and you will too.

Keep posting here, it helps like you wouldn't believe, there is always someone to listen.

thank you ladies

all im gettin now is a ream of texts saying that i never dressed up for sex and that he would rather be poor and happy than have any ambition (yet he opens secret bank account). that i have too many friends (one of which he emailed this morning just sayin 'look after Muffy' this friend he hates. so she is calling me up in the afternoon wondering what is goin on) and all the time im wondering whats wrong with me

i need my head testing

He is attention seeking. The knob.

Don't rise to it (with him) but do talk to your friends.

im trying not to Sue

I have deleted his number as i am again a sobbin mess. I told him not to contact me anymore

I actually just got dressed and went out for a bit and i feel a bit calmer.

I just want to gather up my kids and go somewhere far away

Anyone you could arrange to go and visit for the weekend?

im gonna try

i have a sat nav etc

but with 4 kids im gonna have a look around see if i can find anywhere

im out fri night my friend and her family are draggin me out

i do have very good friends im quite lucky in that respect but i hate feeling so weak

We should have a MN holiday cottage for these situations . If we all chipped in a fiver.....
Glad your friends are looking after you.

they are missin an opportunity arent they

keep leaning on your friends

your strength will build in the coming weeks, I promise you

don't respond to his texts, there will be a pattern to them

they will first get increasingly self-pitying and then when you do not react, more abusive and bullying

you don't need to listen to it

he made his bed

god this is so hard

i can feel my heart breaking and my tears are hurting me so much

im such a moaner

Muffy, I can almost feel your pain in your posts. I'm so sorry. I feel like anything I said now would sound trite. I just wanted you to know that someone else is listening too.

Get to the GP and tell them how bad you're feeling. Don't play it down.

I am still listening too

I would expect moaning, and lots of it

Type a whole fucking essay out if you like, we will read it x