The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Homebrew In The Shed!

[HammerMouseOfHorrors]

Hello, I'm Mouse.

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus. You can get on at any point in the journey, there is plenty of room, it's free to ride and there is always someone who will be along to hold your hand over the speedbumps!

So, no matter where you are in your quest to quit the booze, join us for support, advice and a fair few laughs along the way

There is no judging, no cliques, just real poster with real problems being real and honest!

Come and meet the others.....

Here is the previous thread where you can read all of the threads so far, including JWN's original thread and the reason we are all here.

Well done demented. And good resolve for today.

Hi all, have been lurking and reading and keeping up with you all. Hope poor Mouse's tooth is sorted soon.

Red, I so understand how you're feeling. I still quite often behave like an ostrich - there's a water bill sitting on the side that I haven't paid, I hate opening post and I avoid having conversations or replying to emails that I think will be tricky. I take much more care of my DCs than myself ... blah blah blah.

Life can be daunting and overwhelming and that's why we drink/drank. And just because we stop drinking, that doesn't mean a magic wand has been waved and suddenly made these things easier. I have a clearer head these days, and can take responsibility for myself more - that's easier, definitely. But it's still a struggle sometimes, because we are the people we are - alcoholics, who find life difficult!

However, it does get better. I promise you. Do you think that if you could get to a meeting - just one! - it might be a start?

By the way, I'm not perfect by any means. I've recently had a slip on the fags . I swore to myself last year that, having gone through hell in stopping, I wouldn't start again, but I made the same old mistake - I thought I could have just one. This is bollocks and we all know it . When was one ever enough?

Thanks CJ. I know that I should get to a meeting and it would be far and away the best thing for me to do... So why won't I go? Oh, I know, I want to sit and talk nonsense and laugh with new bloke - avoiding reality yet again.

Your post about smoking made me laugh. "When was one ever enough?"

I am trying to take a bit more care of myself, actually had breakfast today for the first time in weeks! Just taking baby steps I suppose.

Morning Brave Babes.

drama - can I sit with you on the bus today please, I feel you need extra Mouse hugs. (((((x)))))

Red - your night sounds like a night of controlled drinking rather than a night of getting wasted which is the first time I have felt you are actually getting somewhere.

You would NEVER leave wine previously. Well done. How is your friend holding up?

daddy - I am still thinking, will PM you later today.

thurso - how did you sleep? Any better last night? And please post as much as you like! We're all good at 'gas bagging' - as my gran would say - on here.

witchety - my tooth? What tooth is that? Oh yes, the one that feels as though it's pushing itself out of my face!!! Gah!!

Sorry, grumpy Mouse feels bloody dreadful. I'm not sure how much more pain I can take!!!

Morning to desire, zany, Silver, JWN, venus, MsGee, Christi, hubba, DIPSO if you are out there, ma, diabolik, MIFLAW and anyine else I have missed!

Let's hope today is a good day on the bus. I have bacon sarnies as a treat, mine's been pureed obviously, but the rest are in fine shape and ready to be eaten, tea or coffee?

'anyone' and hi CJ!! I know I have more Brave Babes, I need to update my list

Coffee for me Mouse (the stronger the better), getting it hard to wake up properly this morning, have been at work for last hour and a half and still not fully awake :)

Red, baby steps is the way. Also try talking to yourself gently instead of beating yourself up. Having breakfast is good, it's taking care of yourself. I go much to quickly into saying to myself 'you stupid cow, look you've done it again' and have to consciously turn it around and say 'look what you have done'. It really helps, though it sounds a bit mad.

On a really positive front, I have recently 'made amends' (Step 9) to my exH. I thought I would never ever do this. It feels great and that's a real, genuine 'great', so much better than a tanked-up, booze-fuelled 'great'.

Take care, sweetheart.

Is there any other kind of coffe except strong? Not in the Mouse House!

I didn't sleep well at all last night, so much for me saying that I didn't wake up at 4am any more. i got up at 6.30 and felt really groggy, and hangoverish. Forced myself to go swimming (5th time this week!) freezing outside pool, but it woke me up a bit.

I think I am very nervous about this big do tonight, it's smart/casual, words that strike terror into me. I can do work, party, or slob, but never get smart/casual!

It starts early but that have never stopped me drinking 3 or 4 glasses of wine before I go out of the door, so I may well be on here all afternoon!

Red I know just what you mean about avoiding reality, and wanting to have a laugh and a joke without all the "big stuff" intruding. I think that's why Dh gets on my nerves sometimes, it's not him, it's me wanting to be in a place where I don't have to acknowledge or think about anything difficult, but Dh knows all the same stuff as me, so it annoys me! Does that make any sense?

thurso - you are as much a friend to us on here as anyone else!!, it dosnet matter if you have just joined us or been here from the beginning - your tuppence is worth as much as anyone elses!! - i would hate to think that we looked at all 'cliquy' - this old fucker alcohol can get anyone if they arent carefull - i find it so uplifting when we all chat about 'normal' stuff!, it reminds me that we are women with real lives to live, not just alcoholic beings with no other thought!

JWN No, you don't look like a private members club at all, it was just me projecting my insecurities again :)

i dont do 'smart/casual' either!, its a pantsy way of dressing - get yourself dolled up, keep looking at the lovely woman in the mirror - she dosent need wine to look any better!! - i try and picture how i would look by the end of the evening if i got pissed - all smudged make-up, bleary eyes, hair all over the place etc - not a pretty sight!! and not very sophisticated either! tbh, if you want to end up looking like that you may as well go the whole hog and just go in trackie bottoms and primark uggs!

Thanks Mouse:)
Thurso hate that term "smart/casual" as well, always get it wrong

If I was to keep looking at the lovely woman in the mirror, then I would have to ask myself how the hell she got into my house :):)

thurso I know exactly what you are saying about your DH knowing all the same stuff. That's why I have 'run away' at the moment because everyone around me knows all the big stuff and I cannot be arsed too talk about it at the moment. Yes, it's hiding from reality but I suppose at least I know that!

mouse I had not considered that it was a night of controlled drinking. I actually left wine in my glass last night as well as the bottle! Totally unheard of usually.

thurso - sorry you didn't sleep lovely.

Re tonight, a pair of black trousers and a blouse/shirt/smart top would be what I'd wear. Not too formal or dressy but not my lounge suit either (aka bleach and puke stained joggers and grotty off white t-shirt)!!!

And as JWN says, the sober version of you is much more attractive than the pissed up, loud and embarrassing version.

You'll be grand! And, I have said to others before, if it helps, imagine that one of us or all of us are there with you. Supporting you, and helping you to get through the night.

Please don't worry about drinking wither. You can't say at 11am whether or not you will drink tonight. You may not want to and I hope that feeling stays with you but DO NOT put pressure on yourself!

Take it slowly tonight and don't get yourself in a tiz about it ok? You'll have a great night.

Red - see? You LEFT wine in your glass!!!!!!

OMG!!! That is fantastic! You should be really pleased and proud of yourself. I am (of you)

Desire you really made me laugh. Dh came in last night and said "hello, gorgeous" and I nearly turned around to see who was there!

Also have been sort of headhunted this week, to do something in my line, and have to make a phone call about it this afternoon, so am a bit nervous. Stupid thing is that work is the one area where I never doubt myself. No-one I work with would ever think I was this complete package of low self esteem and indecision.

I know that I am an alcoholic - no doubt - however, last night when I got to a certain point I just thought, "I've had enough of this." So I stopped even though there was plenty more in the flat and bloke had another glass. I was perfectly happy to just chat. Weird.

(By the way, can anyone think of a way I can refer to this guy when I am posting? There is no way on earth I would be comfortable calling him DP. But 'bloke' is a bit crap!)

Dear Red how about BF (boyfriend) make us all feel young again :)

Could you just call him DF (that way he could be friend or fella)??

Thanks for the suggestions! Think I will go for BF although that makes me feel a bit silly as he's 20 years older than me. Anyway, he won't know that I am referring to him as a BF as I cannot quite imagine him on MN!

Dear Red cor!! you're lucky, anyone 20 years older than me would have to be called OM (old man)!

mouse - my friend is OK at the moment. Just a very difficult time for her and her family.

thurso - how old are you (if you don't mind me asking?)