Affair

[cuthbertdibblegrubb]

Just found out that my wife has been having a relationship with the builder. While I have been working hard to pay for the building work she has been dropping the kids off at school then f**cking him in our bed. I cant describe how I feel it just feels like a physical pain like some one has stabbed me and I don't know what to do. I feel humiliated and who can I talk to .. I couldnt tell my friends not even my best friend as its so terrible and makes me look like an idiot.Any advise welcome as I moved out last night and really dont know where or what to do next.

I just hope we don't get another rash of posts commenting that something the OP has done has made this woman angry and has led to her utter cruelty and despicable behaviour this morning.

Lost cause, OP, if she is this bloody horrible. Please go and confide in someone in RL, who will give you a big cuddle and listen to you rage.

Just saw your updated post Cuthbert/.

Tell her to leave.

Cuthbert
I cannot agree more with others, you need to talk to someone, a friend, family?
If not how about a counseling line (sorry is Australia so don't know which one).
You didn't mention whether there are kids?
If there are you will need to get some help for them too, they should not be exposed to your wife acting like that.

oops yes you are right Fio.

Cuthbert .

I doubt you are in any fit state to do it now but can you tell us a bit more about the background of your marriage ? Not that I am thinking there could be anything to excuse your dw revolting behaviour. I am in agreement with others that if she was unhappy then she should have spoken up and dealt with it in an adult fashion.There are no excuses for the terrible betrayal of an affair.

You say she is normally so kind , I for one am struggling to see that given what she has just said to you which seems beyond belief under the circumstances.

There must be someone you can go to in rl dont worry about being humiliated by telling someone because you need support.

I am so sorry this is happening to you

So, so sad for you. Finding out about an affair hurts, but this is cruel. She has flung comments at you that are designed to hurt, but that they are all of such a stereotype means they may well be untrue.

What is happening about your DC?

I would be asking her to leave the house, I think.

just cant think straight

That's why you need someone, to think straight for you, you need a hug and for someone to listen and help you make plans

I agree with undermyskin, i do not believe what she said about having sex with him this morning, and its not about size either. She said those things to really hurt you.

Has this come out of the blue?

Rethink after reading wwifns post tell her to get out and get back into your home. Its hard to imagine how you could forgive this level of vile spite and behaviour. I dont see why you should be in a hotel.

Oh Cuthbert - how unbelievably awful for you. I think the very worst aspect of being cheated on by someone you love is the feeling that you've wandered into a parallel universe where everyone looks the same but they're not. It's something which causes me terrible mental turmoil but I can't begin to imagine how you must feel with a normally kind person behaving in such an unbelievably cruel way.

I don't know what to suggest. Sounds to me though like it should be her packing her bags. But you obviously need some answers. Does she have any close friends/relatives you could talk to who might give you some answers without you being subjected to such horrible abuse from her?

I think she is trying to drive me mental .. she just sent a txt tellig me how great he is in very crued terms.

I could try talking to her best friend to see whats happening to her

kids are 7 and 10

CDG, it is not your fault and I doubt any of what your W threw at you this morning was in the least bit true.

She's been caught out and is lashing out.

Please speak with someone in RL, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Many of us here who have been where you are now understand that sense of humiliation but please, don't be alone.

How old are your kids? Think about making arrangements to see them asap, focus on those that deserve your attention.

I thought if i spoke to her best friend she will know why she is doing this as they must have discussed this as they discuss everything

Wow, cuthbert, shocked to hear about it. Get to a solicitor, quickly. But she should be leaving, not you.

Can you get to someone IRL?

I'm so sorry. What a cow

There is no justifying her behaviour, so ignore anyone on here who tries.

lovebeing I know she has been with him, she showed me the mess in the bed which I dont want to mention on here as I cant bring myself to.

What do you think her friend is going to say to you? She will be loyal to your wife.

You must speak to a friend of yours or a family member now. You have to talk to someone. Do not open any of her texts. But keep them.

You do not need to mention what she has shown you. Please call someone.

I agree with Openerofjars.

You need her to leave somehow.

Who does the majority of childc
are? What are your hours like? What is your wife like with the children? Is there any risk of her being inappropriate when they are around?

Cal a solicitor, or the CAB and ask what they think you should do now.

How are things financially?

You really need to not communicate with her when she's being like this. It is incredibly hurtful and you need some breathing space. When you take any action, always consider how it will affect the children first. Personally, if I were you I would go back and ask her to pack her bags. She is in the wrong, she is being callous and spiteful and needs to see the implications of her actions.

I work normal hours and we are ok financially. She doesnt work anymore. I have kept her txt and will try not to look at them. I'm going around there to chuck her out. I will take a week off to look after the kids and hopefully my mum could look after them after that. wish me luck