Long post warning..
Luci your posts sound like you're really knotted up with worring about things to do with your house (stuff in the future) and feeling crap about what / how you were drinking yesterdeay (stuff in the past). It is completely understandable that you feel those things but they are flooding you with a load of negative emotions. All the time, even when you don't need to feel it. So I am going to write some stuff about how our brains works in the hope that some of it is useful.
Here goes...
As humans we have very clever advanced brains, but they developed from much more primitive species. The most primitive part of our brain has 2 basic functions: dealing with things that attack us (e.g. a dangerous sabre-tooth tiger) and dealing with things that we need /think we need to survive (e.g. food, shelter, new loin cloth) - the ATTACK and LACK parts of our brain. This is really good because it helps us to run away from danger or to fight someone who breaks into our house, and also gives us the motivation to go out to work to get food, or to grow vegetables in our gardens.
As humans we also have all the higher functions of our brains which enable us to use language, to ineract to feel emotions (all wonderful). These higher functions also include the amazing ability to remember things that have happened already and to imagine things that might happen in the future. Again all this is wonderful if when it enables you to remember the smiles of your baby, remember why you didn't like the taste of sprouts or to imagine the delight of someone opening a present, or to anticipate what would happen if you put your hand on the iron - and therefore avoid it .
BUT, put these 2 functions of our brain together and sometimes we can get stuck in a groove where too much of our time is spent remembering things from the past that have been negative (things that have scared us [attack] or times when we have needed things [lack], and also spending too much time anticipating negative events from the future (worring about scary things that might never happen or striving to get things that we do not really need). I think this might be what you are doing at the moment.
The interesting thing about our brain is that it does not easily distinguish between what is actually happening NOW and what we are remebering or imagining. So if you remember your baby's first smile you can feel a warm glow as your body is flooded with neurotransmitters - even though your baby's first smile might have been 18 years ago. Also if we imagine an awful scary scenario such our bodies are flooded with the neurochemical that make us want to run away and we can feel our heart rate rising and our breathing getting quicker (that is what happens in panic attacks).
So by allowing our brains to dwell on negative things from the past, or to over-worry about negative things in the future our bodies are experiencing those negative emotions as if they were actually happening now. We feel the pain of them over and over again, and we feel the pain of bad things that will never, ever happen.
This is where 'positive thinking' approaches have thier use, because by remembering lots of wonderful things or by imagining positive things in the future our bodies also feel all those positive emotions.
But let's get back to real life. There is another part of your brain that deals with what is happening NOW. NOW is not what went wrong yesterday, NOW is not what go wrong tonight. NOW is what you are doing, feeling and experiencing at the moment. You might be hungry. Don't think about what you might do to satisfy that need, whether you are going to eat a biscuit or an apple, just concentrate on what is going on as you feel hungry. Is the feeling in your mouth? Is it in your stomach? Is your tummy rumbling? That is NOW. And while you are really paying attention to what is going on now, your brain can not simultaneaously think about what might happen tomorrow. So every time you think about NOW, that is all you can really think about.
Some people can focus on the present moment by focusing on their breathing. Personally, I find that rather difficult, I prefer to pay attention to what I can hear. What noises can I actually hear now? The sound of people in the street, the television in the kitchen, the central heating switching on and off, the noise of my own breathing. What can you hear? What are the far away sounds? Which sounds are close to you? You don't need to close your eyes, you can watch the kids at the same time, but you can also hear a dog bark in the distance or the noise your breath makes as it comes out of your nose.
So have you got a sense of what NOW is? While you focus on the sounds and noises that are happening now, notice how you are feeling. Are you in pain? Where is the pain? is it in one place or all over? is is instense or dull? Are you feeling anything else? Are you angry? Are you sad? (Never mind what you are angry / sad about, just notice how being that emotion feels) Is your feeling in a particular location in your body? Does it have a shape or a colour? (Don't try and make the emotion go away, just notice the characteristics - where it is whether it is moving or still, whether it is noisy or quiet).
So why have I written all of this? Well I'm not sure really. I just thought that it might help you deal with lots of worry and self-recrimintion that is weighing you down and giving you an excuse to drink.
Lots of love.