DH is in a league of his own and I am not happy with him at all.

[MrsBubsDeVere]

For the first time in months, I am going out at midday for lunch with my best mate, we will be having a couple of drinks and catching up and we aren't intending to rush.

I have just mentioned to dh that asda shopping is coming between 3 and 5 just in case I am not back (we have to get there, get a table wait for food and have a leisurely lunch etc) and he went mad saying I had better be back to sort asda out when it comes because there is an england game on and he wants to watch it uninterrupted.

Bearing in mind, we have two dd's, so now I will not be able to enjoy lunch as much as I could because I know if I'm not back he will be shouting and balling at the kids and bad language will be flying, but I still don't see why I have to rush back, upon thinking back I think that this is the FIRST time I have been out for lunch without the kids this year.

I am ranting now lol and repeating things, but I am so bloody angry at the minute, I can't think straight.

Go and have your lunch and enjoy.
Can your DH not multi task?
Maybe he could listen to the football on the radio in the kitchen whilst he is putting away the asda shopping.

After all that's what most dh's expect us to do day after day,multi task the children ,house etc.
They are always telling us how easy it is.

If you can find someone you trust to look after your children of course. We left DSs in the charge of a friend's qualified nanny, who I knew well, one evening and came back to find her asleep on the sofa and DS1 (then 5) asleep half naked on the landing having been (we think) to the toilet. He has never dont this befor or since so heaven alone knows what was going on. After that, I kind of lost faith in sitters.

My dh does check in with me if he plans to be out - or he takes the children. If he really wants to watch some sport he suggests that I might want to go out and do something as he knows it bores me comatose. I don't think you do have to defer just because it might bring in a few pennies one day. You negotiate, yes, but not defer. I think women can be very bad at realising this though.

In exactly the same position sobernow, dh works from home and is extremely busy at the moment. Whatever he has to do is more important even if checking his emails so I too feel I am on duty all the time and the same thing re. money. I don't know quite how to put this in words to him as he does not understand. I think perhaps women are bad at realising this aloha. There is a certain arrogance to the way my dh expects things to be even though I do understand that in lots of ways he would rather spend more time with the kids than working like a dog in a business that is failing at the moment and he is desperately trying to help by finding other work. It has taken having kids and being married however to realise just how powerless I could feel. How can you explain to someone that what you are doing is just as valuable even though you are bringing in not a penny but spending them! Re. football, I think like others, turn the volume up and listen while frozen and fridge stuff gets put away.

Also, dh does not really tell me in advance re. his work. Just slopes off to the computer after he has finished eating and put his dish away and that's it, I am supposed to understand that now kids and I have to keep out of his way.

Couldn't cope with that arabella

Dh is a bus driver which to some is quite a boring almost dead end job but the money is ok, and me and the Kids get to see dh for at least a couple of hours each day on some days he can finish by 1pm and be home all afternoon

We really do have an equal partnership, I don't 'ask' if I can leave kids with him and visa versa. I work part time and it fits in around his job but he also changies shifts to fit in around me too.

Its only my opinion but I just can't understand why some people have such a one sided relationship!!

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pmsl ggg, absoloutely!!!!

Sobernow: Would you be completeley poor if now and again he didn't put earning money 1st??

Dh could do overtime everyday and we could be much better off but thats not how I want my marraige. I don't want to be married but a single mum at the same time all for the sake of a few extra pounds

"pull income earning rank" sobernow that is shocking

all these men that slope of to their pcs for hours on end in a panic sound like that are in serious need of some time management advice - better to do work in shorter, more productive spurts than spend hours slaving over something.

but we all really know that they are just trying to avoid the responsibility of the kids, dont we?

I would have phrased it like that gg!

I'm with soupdragon. Can't remember the last time I was able to go out for a lunch (childfree or otherwise) doesn't work that way.

Mr BDV is being ridiculous. He can miss 2 minutes whilst he signs for the shopping and puts frozen away.

I can understand him wanting to watch the footie but I cannot understand that he cannot take 10 mins out to put away from shopping. I have never heard anything so ludicrous! Okay, maybe I have but not today (so far!).

As others have said he can probably do it at half time and if not so what? I like football as do numerous friends of mine but I (and I think they would agree) think that his attitude is totally unreasonable.

I am back, and to save arguments got back at 1.30, I wasn't pissed by any means (COD) i had a couple of drinks and we caught up on alot of things, he hasn't spoken to me since I came home and is now sat drinking beer watching footie and ignoring the kids.

When I said that there would be shouting and balling, I meant at the kids and not at the football, he is forever f'ing and calling the eldest a bitch [ANGRY] if he carries on with that one we will argue

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MrsBDV - 1.30 was very early for a delivery that wasn't due for another hour and a half at the earliest.

Just asked DH what he'd do. He said he'd record the match if he felt that strongly he might miss something important while he was putting the shopping away.

As for calling the eldest a bitch - unacceptable. Mr BDV needs a bang on the arse, IMO.