For those wishing to improve their self esteem

[Mummiehunnie]

I need to work on my self esteem and I have noticed a few others on here wanting to do the same.

I would like to start a positive thread, with self setting goals be they nothing or lots each day!

Today,

I am going to blow dry my hair after I have washed it.

I am going to get up to date with the washing.

I am going to put on makeup.

I am going to delimescale the shower glass.

I am going to do 30 minutes of ironing.

I am going to do the bins.

I am going to chase the children with their homework.

I am going to make the homemade veg soup.

I am going to go out and buy that bed!

This is all subject to a rotten cold...

I am worth this today x

Great list but its all jobs to do. I think you need to add something nice that you enjoy - like have a long bath at the end of the day or go for a walk. Happiness is a ticked list ......... good luck

Great thread, think we need some positivity on this site!

Hmm, I'm going to go for a walk or do the excercise I've been promising.....
Go and get a diary to write in

Think thats it for today, I'm a single pregnant Mama with a 14 month old to run around after! lol!

ooooh, and maybe I'll treat myself to a new book!

The majority are domestic chores.

I'm not going to badger DP for reassurance ever again.

My self esteem issues lead me to seek far too much reassurance from him.

I need to become my very own sustainable source of self confidence!

To aid me in my endeavour, I'll use mantras. This months will be along the lines of-

"I am worthy of the good things that happen to me and deserving of the love of the people who cherish me. Stop questioning, start accepting - and enjoying!"

I'd have to do way more than get on top of my housework to help my self esteem, sorry. For me, and for many I don't think that's the crux of self esteem issues.

Am pissing on your parade rather, but would love to join thread if you could tweak a little? Or perhaps I am missing the point and when self esteem is low and the laundry piles up it is because of a feeling of underserving

Hob

I'm a sahm atm and my entire life revolves around housework and ds. Not great. Life has become so small and my comfort zone accordingly.

Unless you're a very houseproud type of person (which I am not),I think that self esteem will be more along the lines (for me, at least) of going back to work, valuing myself and looking less to other people for validation and not seeing getting on top of housework etc as a particularly important part of my self worth. I hope!

DS starting school in a few weeks. I'm jobless so cannot afford to rejoin the gym. I've just ordered a set of fab fitness dvds - and I'm going to regain my pre pregnancy body. I will. Fitness was part of who I was - it needs to be again.

Once ds at school I will blitz household chores very quickly, do the aforementioned dvds and actually sit down and have a cup of tea and call or see pals.

I will not fill my days doing things for other people and nothing for me.

If dh sneers at my housework efforts -I will sneer back at his breadwinner potential!

That's me for starters

ok ignores unhelpfull negative posts, takes deep breath... I have put down what will help my self esteem today, and to even blow dry my hair rather than let it dry and to not just clean the shower for hygine reasons and to delimescale it are for me things that make me feel better about myself, thanks for the positive helpfull posts!

I can understand that. I removed some truly hideous things from the bathroom recently and it made me feel a lot better.

Well i think your list is just fine Mummieummie. Its things you really want to get done, and that alone can make you feel on top. You deserve ten minutes to blow dry your hair.

I remember when ds was newborn, i had a girlfriend and her baby staying. I made breakfast for all of us, ran baths and cleaned up, took a quick shower and was putting some make up on when this friend remarked i would need to let that go

She thought i was being selfish, putting on such fripperies as make up, when i had a new born sat in his bouncy chair, happily watching me.

I told her what i tell you, just because we are mothers, wives, carers, domestic godesses or C.E.O.s, doesnt mean we cant take time to ourselves, for whatever fripperies we choose.

Do you think anyone, one single person, on their death bed, lies there and regrets not cleaning the bin out more often, or not putting in more time at the office? No, they regret not smelling the roses.

Do what you want, whatever that is.

princess, glad telling yourself that you are beautiful, clever, worth a million, kind etc has help you with the affirmations, glad you are a confident woman beautiful woman today x

Hamster hello!

ginger thanks for the good luck wishes.

Best, your mantra sounds good, how are you getting on with not asking for reassurance today from hubby?

give it, how is the job hunting going, the looking at others less for validation, the workout dvd's, and the snearing thing with housework and hubby?

perfumedlife, that is such a touching post, thank you for adding that x

thanks hamster x

My list is almost identical to yours, MH - and it's too long. I'll de-gunk my bathroom, you buy that bed! Post a link to it, if you have one

I am lovely, even when I look like shit (as I do today). I am safe in my cute house, even though it's filthy I've got ever such a nice SMILE!

I would quite like to be able to buy food for myself without feeling guilty. And I should probably stop accepting the blame for almost everything.
And when my older dcs speak to me like I'm shit, I should stop telling myself, "it doesn't matter, it's only me".

But how do you do it? The whole self-esteem thing makes me want to cry.

I had a problem with bad self-esteem when i was in my twenties, and read a book called Feel the Fear (Susan Jeffries - i think it was)

Anyhow - IMO it was brilliant, and really helped me get my life back on track and also made me feel worthwhile.

Even now, if i'm having a particular tough time, i'll pick it up and do some exercises and stuff.

Hamster, so how are you going to go about dealing with and unpicking how you are going to go about buying food for yourself without feeling guilty, and not talking on others rubbish?

Grace, the bed has been researched to within an inch of life, every shop I can think of has been screwtenised re beds and matresses lol! I am glad you are feeling safe, lovely and you have a nice smile today, I bet that makes you happy x

Hamster, I am sorry that you are crying, I don't know how the self esteem thing works either, I just knew what would make me feel better about myself today and am working through it all, along with other things that is x

What do you think will make you feel better about yourself today if you could achieve it?

cupcakes, that is great that you found comfort in that book x

Mummiehunnie, best of luck with your self-esteem plan!
A life coach who lectured us at work once said yes, you should make daily to-do lists, but they shouldn't include more than six things, otherwise you may not be able to do all of them in one day and then you'll feel as if you've failed!
This is slightly off-topic, maybe, but if you have a look at Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project website, you'll see she has numerous lists of suggestions for small, simple ways to make yourself happier (not sure if that would increase your self-esteem necessarily, but it can't hurt!). It's all very earnest and American, but lots of good stuff there.