For those wishing to improve their self esteem

[Mummiehunnie]

I need to work on my self esteem and I have noticed a few others on here wanting to do the same.

I would like to start a positive thread, with self setting goals be they nothing or lots each day!

I started my college course tonight and really enjoyed it.

Hi, course sounds like a good idea! I need 2 refocus on food! Have been working through my 2 do list! Feel better 4 that, especially putting lock on my bedroom door, as i cant reason with or control kids compulsion 2 dispespect my space and posessions, i just knew i had 2 stop them wrecking my selfworth by their actions by talking control on this personal space!

armbow, drinking gallons of water and going for a walk is a risky combination...

I will go out on my own tomorrow and leave DCs with DH, he is always doing what HE wants at weekends, then goes all sentimental about not spending enough time with DC... so time for a change!

Chandon meeting ur needs and communicating that positively sounds good! Enjoy ur walk! I like the drinking water idea, may adopt it x

Hi everyone, can I join too? My self esteem is rock bottom at minute and really need to improve it

New one for me - learning to not only accept but also appreciate compliments given to me.

Someone once said to me that it was good grace to accept a compliment as the gift it was intended to be. I believe this is true but I also want to allow myself to believe someone has seen something in me that's positive enough to actually comment on, IYSWIM?

The alternative (and my usual response) is to blush, giggle, mutter a 'thanks' if I can muster it and -run away! All the time half believing they're taking the piss

So that's it - From now on I'll accept and appreciate compliments. Allow myself to see and acknowledge the positives that others see in and about me!

Love that line Bast "allow myself to see and acknowledge the positives that others see in and about me", that most definitely would help boost anyone's self-esteem.
Am totally crap at accepting compliments but willing to give it a try:)

Bast that's great! People don't generally give compliments unless they mean it. And when you get one, and accept it, you will feel good.

disiretochange - what do you think will help you to build up your self esteem?

Karman, people often make fake complements to get what they want from you, there are also those that want you to think you look good when you don't (have seen them do this to others) to take the mickey out of them behind their back.... there are a great deal of genuine complements in life, it can be confusing if you have been around non genuine people to accept them when you get them, or if you are told as I was a chid not to accept gifts, I was told by my father to not accept gifts his friends and family gave me, and to give them back, this transpired also in later life to not accepting complements... I did learn in my late twenties to bit by bit accept things from others... and work out who was genuine and not so, it takes time and practice!!!

going to drink lots of water today!!!

Karman, I think like a lot of people that the main way for me to improve my self esteem would be to see things through iyswim:)
I need to start looking after myself properly as well!

I am looking into resilience at the moment, I really need to work out why I do not like my body and inner self to care for myself properly ie, planning, food quality, sleep quality etc...

Am at the same stage Mummie, am great at encouraging everyone around me, but when it comes to myself I just can't seem to get myself together:(

desiretochange, I think that may be the people pleasing, rescuing thing going on, that I recognise that I have, not sure what is going on with you... it is weird, it is like if you please people around you, then it leaves you free to stop them making demands of you if you meet their needs, if you rescue them it is a way to improve your self esteem, keep them off your back and leaves you in peace and kept busy, all the while ignoring your own needs...

In writing this I can see the challenge for me is to work on getting in touch with what my needs and wants are and deal with them, and giving back the power and control to others who need to take responsibility for meeting their own needs as opposed to looking to me to meet their needs!

That is sometimes the hardest part really, working out what it is you really want and need yourself, never looked at my habit of people pleasing as a way to draw attention away from myself, definitely food for thought there

Ok, just had a very tough meeting at work - where I felt like I was being blamed for everything although logically I know I wasn't. So, have decided to go for my run at lunchtime rather than try to fit it in tonight. Hoping doing something physical will clear my mind!

chrysanthemum, does running give you an adrenaline boost? Why are you ignoring the ilogical blame at work and not sorting it out, as otherwise you will be the target again next time, what if running does not help with the feelings you are running away from next time it happens?

I have just eaten a huge bag of kettle chips, oh dear, why do this to myself, it makes me fat, uncomfortable, and feel bad about myself, I seem to have a lack of a stop button!

On a plus side, I have started the xmas shopping, and bought really nice food, i am about to make a nice veg soup for the next few days!

I have sorted out a nice night out with a new aquantance!

Next I plan to do some ironing and to remop the floor, as kids dirtied it again last night running mud in from the garden, booohooo!

Yes, running gives me a big boost. I don't always feel like going out, but I love having been out iyswim!

In the meeting, I know I wasn't being blamed for everything, but when things are wrong I assume the blame - does that make sense? I'm the one blaming me, not anyone else. Running makes me feel loads better about me because 3 months ago I did no exercise so I use it as an example of how I can do something positive and succeed. So, when I felt rubbish after the meeting I decided to go for the run to boost myself. I hope if I keep doing things to make me feel positive then I can get over these feelings.

Started christmas shopping! Oh I love Christmas so much.

Running is fab for self esteem and it costs nothing.

Must agree with those saying that making yourself look and feel nice is really, really important. When the concentration camps were liberated, one of the things included in the packs of clothes, food etc., was lipstick. The lipstick was snapped up by the half-starved female inmates of the camps, before the bread. Being human and valuing yourself isn't just about surviving, it's also about feeling beautiful while you're doing it.

running is good as long as it is just for health and not as a coping mechanism for running away from something...

have a wonderful healthy soup on the go, it is not how I would have wanted to make it, as my physical abilites are not as they were, it is what I need for my body and I will have to either eat the huge lumps of veg or blitz it in the smootie maker, it will taste lovely and be so very good for me!

I decided a while ago to start learning a new language - so I got one of those CD audio sets - you know the ones learn to speak Italian in 30 days. Well i m the worlds worst at getting a start on things and there it sat gathering dust for months. Then one day the old lightbulb lit up in my head and I thought why dont I play it while Im ironing - something else I struggle to get round to. So now I just play it on repeat play on one lesson each ironing session and my ironing gets done regularly now as I actually look forward to it. Sooon I will be housewife of the year and multi-lingual - excellent for my self esteem as I feel a real sense of achievement (for both the ironing and the language).

Also have an exercise bike in garage - bores the pants off Im afraid so hardly ever use it so am thinking of doing same while on that - so then I can be ' clever bi-lingual domestic goddess with a figure to die for Suda'

Well I can dream.

suda, it seems to me that you are congratulating yourself for doing three things you don't actually want to do and feel that you should do for some reason, and you are boosting your self esteem that way, almost like punishing your self and then congratulating yourself for taking the punishment!

Would you consider going to languauge classes, rather than self punish if you don't do self study in a months time as really underneath you don't really want to do self study and ironing rather than set yourself up for a fall when motivation has left you, would you consider paying someone to iron if you are not into it, or swap chores with a mate who is into it and you do something she is not into for her, and sell exercise bike and buy some exercise equipment that you actually enjoy instead?

suda please ignore the above post! you do what makes you feel good about yourself!

Mummie I do feel better about myself though doing these things - the ironing needs doing and it makes rest of my life more organised and less 'last minute' - I love languages its just as I said the 'getting going on things' thats my problem and tbh I find exercise on any equipment boring but I dont actually hate it as such. I definitely do feel better for it and the resulting toning/weight loss etc and it would be no longer boring if I listen to a language tape. Cant run btw - shin splints - i used to love running and you are right it does make you feel really good but now swimming or cycling are only suitable exercises really.