For those wishing to improve their self esteem

[Mummiehunnie]

I need to work on my self esteem and I have noticed a few others on here wanting to do the same.

I would like to start a positive thread, with self setting goals be they nothing or lots each day!

Suda shin splints can be fixed - did you ever get physiotherapy for them? I know loads of people who had them and just got them sorted, rested for a while and then went back to running.

Running definitely is good for my self esteem. But Mummiehunnie is right so is facing up to things. My next target is to face up to the clutter I've allowed to accumulate in my home and work - I have finally realised having all this clutter is a form of self-sabotage, like I feel that I don't deserve a nice home or a tidy work place.

Would love to be able to run Chrysanthemum5 but think I would have to master the art of walking briskly first as lung capacity due to smoking is not exactly functioning to it's full capability:(

That's a shame desiretochange. When I wanted to start running I got a couch to 5K app for the phone which was designed for people who had done no exercise. It started off very gently, and now I can run 3 times a week. Maybe there is something similar for walking?

I reckon I need to give the fags the boot chrysanthemum5 and give my lungs time to repair themselves. However, as I said earlier I have just started on anti-depressants and at moment just don't have the energy to pack them in - Excuses, excuses

Well I lost my way a bit, fear was getting in the way regarding to some of the things I needed to accomplish, health problems have not helped!

I realise part of the problem is my self worth = low self esteem!

What a great idea for a thread Mummiehunnie. My goals for today are:
Eat lunch (as I often don't bother and end up feeling horrible)
Meet someone for coffee
Take dd swimming

I'm hoping these things will make me feel better.

Lightbulb moment - I don't do housework because I don't deserve to live in a nice house... that's me!

I'm off to put some things in a box to get rid of.

Hm... that didn't work out. The baby that I made (and would now quite like to disown) decided to throw his nappy (and turds) all over the bedroom, then attempted a moonsault from his changing table while I juggled shitty hands and gripping his sturdy legs! The bugger.

I did fill a bag of rubbish though, and scrubbed the carpet where needed... which is good for me!

bump

Thanks for bumping MamaGogo, had lost this thread! One of the things I need to do to improve my self-esteem (among many things) is to stop procrastinating. I am always putting things off instead of saying to myself to "just do it now!"

I've just had a few sessions of counselling, and do you know I feel the most amazing I've ever felt in my life! The counsellor used a range of techniques, and one of them was inner-child therapy which uses hypnosis to take you back to a time in your life that caused some of your problems. I used it to 'talk' to the girls that bullied me when I was in secondary school, and OMG what a difference it has made to me! I actually sent my counsellor a message today saying it's a good thing she discharged me from her list, or I might have actually become conceited! I feel amazing, and I'd encourage anyone who thinks that issues in their childhood have contributed to their self-esteem issues today to try this. I truly feel like I'm living with a new reality.

Didn't notice this thread before!..

What i need to do is stop analysing!!
Realize things like-if i say Hello to someone and they don't reply, it's not automatically because they think i'm crap..maybe they just didn't hear, but also- them not replying doesn't actually MATTER does it!?

Wow Mamagogo, that sounds amazing!
surely that method could be used for any incidents in your past, whether childhood or last week..
You sound so positive

Can identify with that Jellykat, tend to take it really personally when I say hello to someone and they don't reply . .

Yes, isn't it weird how we focus on the negative? or automatically change it in our minds, TO BE negative.. My counsellor said it was all about turning our automatic thoughts around..

Marking place to read this tomorrow

Did she give you any advice on how to avoid that Jellykat?

desiretochange Hello!, Yes she did, a lot of written pieces and modules!..For me, the simplest and quickest to understand being at-

www.getselfhelp.co.uk/esteem.htm

I can't do links sorry!

The whole idea of thinking about our gut reactions to situations or things said,must be turned around..we have to replace it in a way with an alternative thought..that doesn't reinforce our negativity about ourselves.
For example, i recently physically managed to get out of an abusive relationship. I bumped into a friend of my XP, who saw and ignored me,when previously would've stopped to chat, i panicked and felt really hurt, my head said"hes listened to, and believes it was all my fault,he thinks i am mad,he doesn't like me anymore"

but then i thought hang on-its a week day,he's in his work clothes,he was walking fast,..maybe he was on a work related mission,he probably didn't stop to talk to anyone,IT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN PERSONAL!

The next time i saw him,i didn't shy away thinking he doesn't like me..and you know what,we had a laugh!just as normal!...
Previously i would've not gone out for days because of that one incident!

What do you reckon?..

That site looks fantastic Jellykat, if I had been in same situation I would have worried about it for days and been annoyed at the same time that he blamed me.

I have a friend who is very positive and I often notice how she puts positive spins on things that I would be negative about or non emotional. I am going to attempt to be more like her

Desire- yes i found it really helpful, sometimes the self esteem stuff i have read, has lost me by the 2nd page!..

We have to accept the past, as just that..and hopefully change things for our futures.Its up to us,and we can do it i reckon, bit by bit!..

Thanks for that link, Jellykat. It really IS in an easy-to-use format.....off to read now.

That link is fab! Loads of great techniques on there, and really user-friendly!

Have some quiet time now so going to take a proper look at the site:)

Be happy x