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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Next Stop Sobriety!

936 replies

Mouseface · 24/08/2010 14:27

Hello, welcome to thread number six!! Smile

I'm Mouse and, thanks to these threads, I quit the booze on August 2nd 2010.

This truly is a fantastic source of support for anyone who wants it! Full of real, honest, everyday people who are all at different stages of quitting the booze, cutting down or being long term sober.

There are no judgmental 'know-it-alls' here, whatever your circumstances, you will be supported all the way.

Come and meet the rest of The Brave Babes........

And, as before, here are the previous five threads for those who would like to see how this all began.

JWN's original thread (the reason we are all here)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

OP posts:
MsGee · 26/08/2010 09:04

Sorry, that was a long outpouring.

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 09:14

Good morning all!

Seems like I missed a lot last night. Lovely to see you again venus, hope the cold is better today.

Lovely to see you back silver - my one piece of advice is One Day at a Time. Don't focus on not drinking forever. Choose not to drink for one day. And then the next day make the choice again

Welcome hadaball! Looking forward to getting to know you.

mouse, JWN, wasindie, prime, desire, MIFLAW, forthe, I really can't remember who else posted last night! Hello to you all! Smile

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 09:15

There were some wonderful posts and a fantastic poem last night!

jesuswhatnext · 26/08/2010 09:18

msgee FANBLOODYTASTIC!!!! A WHOLE WEEK!!!

Grin Grin Grin

you sound so very like me its uncanny, even our dhs sound similar, that fog just keeps lifting ime, and its just wonderful!! keep on a day at a time!!!, dont worry about going out until you get there, then, just do it an hour at a time, it is possible, i do it, so can you!

jesuswhatnext · 26/08/2010 09:19

morning moomin! Smile

venusandmars · 26/08/2010 09:21

Hi Msgee, nice to meet you on here. I have been away for a week, and despite my hippy, yoda leanings, I am not very huggy either, so I'll accept your shuffle with a reciprocal nod Grin

I had a really good week, so it feels like a particular blow to arrive home feeling crap, waking in the night with a raging sore throat, and leaving a trail of soggy tissues in my wake.

I found it really interesting though that while I was away, although I thought about my alcoholism, I did not crave alcohol, even when other people were talking in great detail about the delights of a nice glass... A few weeks ago I would have had to put my fingers in my ears and go la, la, la, la, la if people had been talking like that. I am not kidding myself that I am 'cured' or anything, but it just felt like a massive change from where I was when I joined this topic. The day at a time approach has really helped me through some massive cravings.

At the start, I thought that if I had a craving for a drink at 4pm, then I would feel that level of desperate fight for the whole of the night, or perhpas even FOREVER (which is what made the forver thing so scary for me). But I have found that if I can get through the wobble, then the feeling does diminish. It may take 15 minutes, or an hour, or 2 hours to subside. But that is not long in the scheme of things. And it does go away. I now have those intense cravings less frequently. And when I do (although they can still feel overwhelming) I know that if I can stick with it, and avoid pouring the first drink, then I will be OK.

You lot on here have been a frequent help during the struggle, and a source of inspiration and laughter and shared anxiety. I know how much I care for anyone here who is struggling or who has had a drink and is feeling rough, and I feel that care being reciprocated.

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 09:23

Morning JWN!

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 09:25

Hi venus, lovely post from you. You are so right about the moment passing if you just push on through it. It does not last forever - it feels like it might at the time! I had that feeling on Tuesday but I distracted myself and it just went... phew!

You have been a huge help to me.

wasteofprime · 26/08/2010 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 09:36

morning prime!
Sounds like you have a lovely day planned. It's nice and sunny here too - but I am stuck in work!

Just wanted to say hello to algee if you manage to get on at all! We have not forgotten you!

MsGee · 26/08/2010 09:56

thanks for the hugs / shuffles Grin

JWN - thank you!

Venus - your post made so much sense. I know that if I avoid that first drink, then I am ok. And its much easier to avoid the first one than the rest!

Right, on with work ...

maddogsandenglishmen · 26/08/2010 10:17

Great post Venus!

MsGee - I have found when going out to dinner that if I can refuse the first drink, then it is pretty easy to keep going for the rest of the evening. So you only have to prepare yourself to say "I'll have a mineral water" or whatever once, which feels very uncomfortable for a few minutes, but that's all.

It also works to imagine JWN, Mouse, Venus, Moomin, Miflaw et al are there watching you Grin

Jesus - My bump is now getting very big, thanks for asking! Baby (boy) is due 5th December and we've just completely changed our minds about the name!

Not drinking has given me a clear view of how negative and selfish I had become. I am working on changing that using the principles of AA, even though I'm not (yet?) going to meetings, such as gratitude list every morning and some other things which have really changed my perception of things.

Before I realise that even when I wasn't drinking I was really a "dry drunk" and feeling very sorry for myself because I couldn't drink. (to the point of resenting being pregnant). I don't think you can keep sober like that, eventually you feel so sorry for yourself that you have "just one" and so it goes.

Sorry, I went on longer than I meant to there! Been thinking about this a lot.

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 10:27

maddogs - not long until your baby arrives! And how fantastic is it that you will be a wonderful sober mummy when he gets here.

I think it's a great idea to use AA principles where you can - and it's obviously working for you!

Please don't say you're sorry for going on - you're NOT going on and also this thread is all about sharing how you are feeling. Good, bad, long, short!

maddogsandenglishmen · 26/08/2010 10:38

Thanks Moomin! I really hope that I didn't do him any harm with the drinking I already did Sad What's done is done though, I can't change it now, just make sure I do the best for him from now on.

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 10:41

maddogs - I am sure that you won't have. But, as you said, what's done is done and from now on you will be doing your very best for him. Which is great!

venusandmars · 26/08/2010 10:50

maddogs, I carry a secret MIFLAW round with me sometimes, and when I hear myself lining up excuses for thinking about a drink, feeling sorry for myself, not being prepared to consider trying an AA meeting, etc etc, then I can imagine the type of reponse he might make - one of the ones that would make me hate him for a moment, then realise that he was just right.

jesuswhatnext · 26/08/2010 10:50

where is our little house mouse today?

jesuswhatnext · 26/08/2010 10:52

maddogs - just keep focused on the positive!, im willing to bet my shirt that baby is fine!, he will be even more fine if his mummy stays sober from now on!

WasindieNial · 26/08/2010 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 10:59

mouse, are you about today?!

Mouseface · 26/08/2010 11:00

TA DA!!!!!!!

Here I am. Grin

Just catching up on here and with my emails........ back in a mo for a full report Babes!!

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 11:02

Hi wasindie,

It's lovely and sunny here in Yorkshire today!

Get on with your work wasindie! (Hypocrite, aren't I?!)

RedMoomin · 26/08/2010 11:03

There you are mouse! It's like magic again!

WasindieNial · 26/08/2010 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mouseface · 26/08/2010 11:19

Phew - you lot can talk! Grin

Well, my wonderful DH let me sleep in until 10.15 due to another rough night with our little owl. So, I'm now on catch up and off to hydro soon.

JWN - have a wonderful day in town and getting your hair done. Very nice!

maddogs - you sound so positive and bright. You sound as if you are really looking forward to meeting your baby boy too now which is just lovely. [super broody emoticon]

MsGee - WOW! Such a positive post from you too, pour it all out! Here is exactly the right place. Well done on getting to a week too. Oh and nice shuffle. I'm more of a groper so best stay away from me! Wink

Wasindie - wonderful ode to venus!! You clever thing you! How are your girls today? All of them?

venus - sorry you have a cold but fabulous to have you back! Glad you had a great holiday and mananged to stay sober! And to feel good about it too!!

prime - enjoy your strole around town today, in the sun!!!

Red - keep hold of that sun for me please, I'll be there this weekend and would love it not to be pouring down!

Whoops, time to put a bit of slap on and off I go to my weekly torture session.

Hello to anyone I've missed or X posted with, as per!!

And just like that, Mouse was gone again!! Grin

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