brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

Thanks Venus.

Night all, am shattered and have a doorstep of a book to begin.

See you in the morning :)

...yes, the first glass, that's the one to avoid. We don't greet one another with 'lovely to see you, tea, coffe?' but 'wine?' ...as it's being poured. I think I shal adopt the 'at the moment' stance too...forever is too much for me, and I think it would be too much for her too if you see what I mean?

Is dh home yet?

night toclear...see you in a few days, whatever happens in between now and then!

Hi, Hope everyone is Ok. Day 2 not drinking which has been easy today as I've been at work untill just now and all I want to do is go to bed not have a drink.

Tomorrow will be telling and a test of willpower as I'm not at work so it will take all my strength to stay away from the beers.
I have no wine in, and i'm intending to drive straight past the off license tomorrow too. (fingers crossed)

DP found the near empty bottle of brandy and went a bats shit. Its done now so it's a relief that he's had his rant.

DP dosen't know I have a problem I think i've hidden it well.

He barely drinks but expects a bottle of wine to be in the fridge incase he decides one night he wants a glass.

I don't think i'm ready to buy it without needing to drink it so he will have to go without.

Take care guys and hope we al have agood night

Hi shiny, yes my poor innocent deluded dp was pretty much in the dark. Occasionaly asked where did all the gin go today? My answer - oh I spilled it

hey shiny...'went a bats shit'! Well done for not hiding the evidence, or rather replacing the bottle! Here's to day 3!

...mmmm, I used to be sure I bought fresh before he noticed ( and recycled the empty whilst leaving the 'real recycling' in the bag in the kitchen). I was bloody good!

algee, I know exactly what you mean about 'forever' being too much for her. But I have friends who say I'm not drinking in January, or I'm not drinking during lent, or whatever. It might raise an eyebrow but nothing more.

Or when she first waves the wine bottle at you, you could tell her that you actually had a shit hangover. Most drinkers can understand that one. Then she would only be irritated at you for drinking the previous night without her. The next night, plead a 'tummy upset' and say maybe it wasn't a hangover the previous night. Then night 3 say, I've been feeling so crap recently, I think I'm not going to drink for a while.

Anyway, have a great and sober time.

I've been there and done that, got more and replaced it before he came home and I've done the whole spilling thing too.
Hopefully being deceitful is in the past , I don't like lying it's not me

Hey but i'm not going to dwell.

babysteps

Thanks for the support ladies

It'll be fab. I'll miss you lot though...gush gush. I give up every lent in fact...usually (but not always) make it through ash wednesday...

algee, I'm now almost as good at deceiving people about my not-drinking as I was about deceiving them about my drinking. I think you could do the same

shiny thing is I too pride myself on my honesty, because I am, fundamentally honest...even to pointing out wriong change in shops etc etc. Until, that is, it comes to drink.

I can venus, I can! And if I wsa so deceitful about my drinking, why do i FEEL UNEASY ABOUT BEING EQUALLY AS DECEITFUL ABOUT NOT DRINKING...AH YES, oops that'll be because on some level i am looking dfor a reason to pick up. Although I really don't feel like it/ want to... moronic.

God my typing wasso much better the other night when I posted pissed...

algee, re: ash wednesday: one day at a time. ha! ha!

yes algee, you type well drunk. But I can imagine you doing it slowly with that intense concentration that drunks have. With your tongue out a little ' cos that always helps drunk people concentrate.

Feeling safe here tonight...going to carry this feeling with me over the next few days. What a weird world we live in, where we can depend so heavily on people whose names we don't even know. What would our grandparents have made of that...in fact what would my parents make of that...in fact, what do i make of that!

Oh my god, the tongue at least I didn't have sudocreme all over my face that night...

I also feel safe on here. I confesss things on here that I have never told anyone else. And I sense the same from others. That feels bonding. We just have to know that it is an anonymous forum, and we can;t knock on anyone's door or ring their phone if we need immediate help, and so we should all have some real, real-life help as well.

I feel like I've spilled my heart out here, but don't think I really have, it's just that I somehow know that you all know without me having to go in to the minutae...that's amazing for me, being the strong silent listener that I am in real life. Real life help more elusive..I think if I really go off the rails, my friend who I met at (original) day three whose mum died an alchoholic at 44 will be the one... you don't do much in the way of aa do you? Or is it more than I imagined?

going to shut the house up and head to bed... see you in a few days.

See ya honey. Stay safe.

Good Morning lovely ladies !!

I had a shit night, barely slept, like always when you do finally fall asleep it's time to get up.

I've got to drop the children at various clubs today.

Tonight wil be hard. I'm not at work and there's sod all on the telly but instead of reaching for the bottle I'm going to clean out the fridge!!! WOOHOO !!
It should keep me out of mischeif and it should take ages as it's in a right state

What will everyone else be doing today?? whatever it is have a lovely day ladies (and gents if there are any) and I will sign in again later

Morning shiny, well I accidently switched off the freezer, so it has defrosted overninght. No prizes for guessing what I'm doing today.

oh no!! Hopefully you haven't lost too much food !