brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

hi algee, no she didnt!, i still think about her, i wish i knew she was alright!

maddog - (hold tight, i am about to become brisk!) it sounds to me like you need to have a bit of a rest!, i know that it is easy to say, but i think maybe you should be asking about going part-time, you really need to start taking care of yourself, i do think you need to lay it on the line now with your dh!, ok, money may be tight, it will be a fucking stight tighter if you end up with a breakdown - you sound hormonal, lonely and tired and in need of a bit of cherishing! you didnt get yourself pregnant, tell him how you feel!! he needs to take care of you!

thanks algee. i don't know what to do. I am a mess. My family are all very very very successful and I have got less and less each year and less and less likelihood of achieveing anything. Why was I shown so much when I was younger about how much I oculd achieve and now It all just falls apart and I can't see a way forward I can't even see my future i have nothing to look forward to and ntohing to strive for and no-one even wants to emply me and it is hideous and i've always meant well and worked hard but it comes to nothing

one breath in, one breath out...cherish your children, be kind to yourself, and take each moment, one by one until you see that there's a little bit of blue in the sky again.

christi - you know the financial markets yeah? - what about consultancy? set yourself up, use ALL your contacts - network like fucking crazy, get in touch with your local chamber of commerce, find out when they hold seminars/business to business events etc and get yourself out there!

christi - what i mean is, you know you are good - how about you employ you!!!

JWN, or anybody else, you out there?? By any chance do you remember telling me not to project about something coming up a few days ago? the time has come (well tomorrow anyway...), I'm not projecting any more... have no desire to drink, no urge, nothing, but I know that the next few days will be my biggest challenge yet (oh the benefit of hindsight... I thought all of the challenges the bottle has laid down were the 'biggest yet'.) I am really worried. Properly. Like i'm going to drink out of obligation or some such nonsense. Not expecting magic wands, don't know what I'm hoping actually, but thought I'd throw it out to the wisdom of my computer fairies...

we won't be able to stay in our rented flat for much longer. WHere will we go, we have been given hosuing benefit for 4 months for the full amount. How did it all go so wrong i used to be a fucking hedge fund manager and i gave it all up thinking i could but now everyone wants to take everything away from me and the world is so hard once people start excluding you from it

i can't bear it. i can't bear it i want to sink into a little dark place

jwn i CAN'T do cosultancy because i have been out of financial markets for a few year. i haven't got any city contacts up here. honestly i'm prmising you i' m nbot just being negativer i don't have any

honestly i just have a massive overdraft, DH has nothing at all, there's no ability to 'set myself up'

...don't worry, I know what I need to do (or rather not do). Ignore me!! Simple really...

algee - i think it might be a good idea to text your friend tonight, tell her the situation, be totally honest (you CAN do this with a true friend, if you feel you cant, then maybe you need to think about cancelling) tell her how worried you are, how it means so much to you to stay sober - in fact tell her everything! i am very sure that any decent, kind, thoughtful human being would be only to willing to help you maintain your sobriety.

i know you are a private person but this is SO important i think you need to swallow it down and simply tell her! the worst she could do is be so horrified that she bans you from the house, in which case she was no friend. this will not happen though!

christi - does mouse have your email address?

i know...thank you, just helps having someone else say it. I wish I could tell you all the ins and outs, and I guess I could...why I feel this to be such a big one, but the bottom line would remain the same. I really don't want to go back, but I'm scared of making her face things she just can't/ isn't ready to, including, and not least in fact, her own drinking, previously encouraged by good ol' alkie algee! Guess I can only take responsibility for me, when all is said and done. Thanks JWN...

algee, you may be handing her a life line!, she may be worried about her drinking anyway - the other thing is, you have been her rock, her good friend and someone she has leant on, maybe its your turn to ask her for support!, that is whats friends do!

i know she has had a very rough time, maybe thinking about someone elses problems will almost be a relif!

JWN - no. I don't. Sorry.

algee - JWN is right, only you can make the choices that you will make but I agree that you should tell her.

Christi - deep breaths. Are you alone or is DH there?

hi mouse! how are you this evening?

hello mouse!

Hey.

I feel sick. And flu like......... is that the norm with detoxing?

Off to bed soon. Pj's on and sipping water.

I'm hormental too so always a bit queasy a few days before.

go and get to bed mouse, i find it even harder to stay up, not drinking, when i feel crappy!

...just want for her to be happy. I love this lady very much!

Right anyone fancy laughing at (not with) me?? No money in the pot for beauty treatments etc, and I'm way too lazt to pluck...so just immacced brows and upper lip. Now have inch thick sudocreme plastered over my face to cobat the burning sensation! Fuck me if ever I could have done with a drink! (joking!!)

oh, sorry! normal? yes!

oh what a vision of lovlieness you are algee!

algee, i expect she loves you too, and wants you to be happy!!! TELL HER!!

I am most certainly HOT! Glad dh isn't here... think he'd have cracked open the good stuff to drown his sorrows...

...easy to do the 'love' stuff to a bunch of fairies on the omputer! Unless of course I'm drunk, then I lurve everybody

algee!! You fecking star!!

More water spitage!

The image in my head is amazing!!!

I can't go to bed til DS is asleep. He is in with us still due to his SN.

Ah, it's normal then. At least I don't have mad cow disease!! Living in Shropshire and all!!