Brave Battling Babes - Booze No More!!

[Mouseface]

Well, thanks to the refreshingly honest and inspirational JesusWhatNext - this is the third thread, for the battle to beat the booze for all of those who are on the path to do so.

Some are sober, some are trying to be and some are still drinking.

I'm Mouse, I'm new to this and I'm scared. So, come and join the journey.

Hi

Glass I had some major slimey sweats. Now on DAY NINE and sleeping like an ANGEL. And I love the feeling too of waking up and not feeling guilty or wondering how I got to bed the night before or throwing out another load of bottles. I am so pleased at the amount of money we're saving (probably £60 a week!)

DH is with my DM and the kids for the next couple of days to give me space for the interview and he has also stopped drinking! I am really impressed, really pleased, so much easier to do it together I think.

i am going to meeting today - then home this afternoon, doing a bit of cooking, dh is at al-anon tonight (do you know, last week they went to pub! )

went to the pub?! That's hysterical.

Now I must get down to some interview prep.

Have a lovely day everyone.

christi - the amount of money i have spent poisoning my body is scary!!

i am now buying myself the odd treat, i can afford to do so now!

yes, i did laugh! i dont think AA will move from the church hall though! ha ha!

I love the fact that the Al-Anon group went to the pub! (It was probably nice for them to go, relax and not having to be worried about the alky in their life doing the usual.)

christi - you sounds like you are doing really well. Is the interview tomorrow?

Interview is tomorrow. Had lots of dreams last night that I had forgotten my slides for the presentation, everyone was looking at me oddly etc etc.

Have day to myself to practise interview questions etc. DOn't want to OVERDO it so going to try to take it easy. Planning to do my 30 day shred DVD later and seeing a couple of friends this evening to run through my presentation. I have suffered from PND and anxiety in the past (still on sertraline) so I do have to try my best to keep calm, otherwise my brain goes into shutdown. I don't have a very good record at interviews!

Morning.

Last night was a bit er, heavy.

Had a glass of wine which I didn't really enjoy but drank . On top of 4 weaker vodkas.

DH drank heavily and I actually thought at one point, you are a bit annoying when drinking......

Then I thought, am I like that too? Yes. I must be.

So I went to bed and read a book after 2 pints of water.

I can't not drink if it's in the house but I really really want to not drink. Obviously not enough.

Pathetic.

Congratualtions curry!!!!!!!

And all those who managed another day sober, WELL DONE!!!!

Sorry you had a rubbish night Lucil

Mouse, we aren't going to kick you. You aren't pathetic. It's tough to stop.

When you say 'heavy' were you and DH not getting on?

Could you go out to the cinema tonight instead of staying home?

You did the right thing to go to bed when you did. Could you try not to drink tonight? Could you go to an AA meeting? (you don't have to tell DH?)

christi - sounds like you have it all worked out for the interview. Definitely take it easy with plenty of breaks - don't exhaust yourself.

mouse - nice to see you. You are not pathetic. MIFLAW might have some good (strong!) words of advice for you. We all know how bloody hard it is so all I can say is just keep posting. Well done for stopping though and getting some water down you. To be honest I would have kept drinking until either it was all gone or I had passed out.

Hello all, especially to the newcomers - this thread is flying, isn't it?

Sorry I haven't been aronud much - I mainly post from work (I am the main reason the public sector is so expensive and inefficient ...)

So pleased everyone is doing so well. ODAAT, eh?

Drink things that happened over the weekend to convince me that I am a drunk:

we went to a get otgether with other families from our NCT group (our kids are all 2 and a half now). Three of the women are pregnant but my partner had brought along a bottle of champagne. She (or someone said) "if you're only going to have one drink, it might as well be something good!" I listened, someone said it again, and I still thuoght, "no, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Why would anyone have one drink? And what difference does it make whether it's good?"

When I was broke, I would drink two bottles of red for a fiver/six Stellas/four cans of K or Diamond White/whatever was cheap.

When I was flush, I would get two bottles of Cava.

Aged 18, at my Oxford clooege, the steward sold us a fantastic St Emilion for little money.

Did I just have one glass? Did I bollocks.

At my AA meeting on Friday (I actually don't like that meeting, but it's local and I'm lazy so I keep hoping it'll get better) I shared, "maybe it would be nice to have just one drink from time to time. How would i know? I've never had just one drink in my life." Which is true - even as a teenager, drinking bitter or brown ale so they would think I was an older man and serve me, I never had just one. The drinks did get stronger, more frequent and more plentiful over the years - but the attitude was there almost from day one. Given the choice, I will drink until someone or something stops me.

And that's how I know I'm an alcoholic.

Hello again to all - will try to keep up!

CTS

DS has SN. Most of may day revolves around being his carer. He goes to bed around 9 - 9.30pm once his last tube feed has settled. 'Heavy' as in I drank more than I should and wanted to. But did.

DH just rattled me as he was all giddy and bouncy and I wasn't.

Just feeling sorry for myself today.

Moomin

I got to the point where I thought I might not drink tomorrow so make the most of tonight.

No projecting, I know.

Mouse, you said in your post that you "can't not drink if it's in the house". But you can. The other night you had a 2nd bottle of vodka in the house and you didn't drink it (even though you normally would).

God knows it's not easy, but don't let yourself think that it is a hopeless task. If you compare what you have had to drink over the last few days with the previous week, that is a big achievement.

And you know that many of us have decided that trying to drink less isn't working. It certainly hasn't worked for me over the years. I can manage with booze in the house as long as I don't start drinking any.

You seemed to have some good tactics, with your bottle of alternative drink already made up in the fridge, and it sounds as though you have recognised that you have a problem. Some people do not manage to do anything about it until they hit rock bottom. Can you do something about it now before you hit that point? Do you want to?

Mouse that is so tough for you. We're here. I hope you feel better today. You just look after yourself and DS and try not to let DH's moods rattle you. I know you can get through the day.

I see I am called on for "strong words".

None needed, except the hardest of all - "told you so." It's nothing to do with whether it's in the house. It's to do with whether you have the first one.

being in AA has given me something I never had - choices. I even have the choice of having the first drink if I want. After all, it's not illegal, I've got the money, I'm over 18, who's to stop me?

But, if I make that choice, I forfeit all subsequent choices, especially re the second, and the third.

Cutting down is self-inflicted torture. Alan Carr (the smoking guru, not the comic) did not approve of AA but his approach nevertheless had a lot in common with many of AA's methods, for stopping smoking and drinking. He compared cutting down to getting into a cold swimming pool one toe at a time. The easiest way, he said, is to jump in, get your shoulders under, and start swimming. And this has certainly been my experience - with alcohol, fags and also swimming!

Why not be nice to yourself and just go for it? If you fail, you're no worse off than if you hadn't tried at all - and if you succeed, you can start living life again instead of eeking out a single drink to last all night and watchnig the clock.

Hope today goes better for you, whatever you decide to do.

MIFLAW - get you, Oxford! Totally get what you were saying with struggling to understand the idea/ point of having one drink.

mouse - I know exactly where you are coming from!

venus - hello! How's things?

I have just noticed that I claimed to have attended an Oxford clooege.

It was, in fact, an Oxford college.

Hope that clears things up.

venus

Yes, I want to. I have ordered some lovely non alcoholic drinks from the on-line shop, which is coming today and I will make them up, ready to pour once the witching hour hits.

Day From Hell = Drink In Hand.

Day From Hell being issues with the builders, the skip not being here yet, DD getting bullied, DS being super sick today, DH shabby, hungover, and stressing about work, needing to re-house 2 cats, DS having his jabs, etc etc etc.....moan moan moan.

So tonight, I plan to make it an alcohol free one. That's the plan. That's as far as I have got.

Hello MIFLAW

Thanks CTS

mouse - well done! And just think about the next hour or so. Just think about the things you are doing now and next. Don't worry or think about tonight as yet. Good plan on getting the lovely soft drinks ordered. I hope that your son feels as better as possible soon. re your daughter and bullying. Thinking of you.

MIFLAW - was that typo on purpose so you could mention Oxford again?! Ha ha!

Hello MIFLAW. I am both encouraged by your post and despondant. Encouraged by your strength and resolve in keeping on keeping sober, and your honesty in considering your reaction to "just one drink".

But I am also a bit despondant, because I suppose secretly I was hoping that after a while I would stop being an alcoholic, and would be able to have an occasional drink. Just the one. Feel the high and stop. Like you I have never stopped then (or not without a huge conscious effort and an accompanying feeling of resentment.

But i don't know whay I am worrying. Today I do not want to try having that one drink. And for today that is all that matters.

venus - thanks for the honesty there. I have to stop myself now and again from wondering whether I will be able to drink at some point in the future. I know that I can't - rationally - but now and again the thought creeps in and I have to sit on it quickly. And just concentrate on staying sober one day at a time.

Mouse it sounds so tough. And you know that it won't be any easier, in fact it will be harder, if you do drink, so you are doing exactly the right thing not drinking today. I know you can do it.

"But I am also a bit despondant, because I suppose secretly I was hoping that after a while I would stop being an alcoholic, and would be able to have an occasional drink. Just the one. Feel the high and stop. Like you I have never stopped then (or not without a huge conscious effort and an accompanying feeling of resentment."

Who knows? Maybe you will. Maybe you're different to me. I mean, I've never met anyone like that, but maybe you will be the one who breaks the mould.

But I'd suggest that what's important is whether you are NOW. And, by the sound of it, you're not. So, as you rightly say, keeping it in the day is the right thing to do. Tomorrow (and the day after) will take care of itself.

Hello Babes, how's everyone doing this afternoon? It's lovely and sunny here, I've just had a really healthy lunch (instead of needing lots of fatty, salty foods to ward off a hangover!) so I'm feeling pretty good. Hope everyone else is OK and either way give me a shout if you want.