Brave Battling Babes - Booze No More!!

[Mouseface]

Well, thanks to the refreshingly honest and inspirational JesusWhatNext - this is the third thread, for the battle to beat the booze for all of those who are on the path to do so.

Some are sober, some are trying to be and some are still drinking.

I'm Mouse, I'm new to this and I'm scared. So, come and join the journey.

Glass early in July I went on holiday for two weeks. Some days I was starting to drink at 4pm, others, 11am - if it was a sunny day. Or a rainy day. Or if I had already been up with DD2 since 5am 'well, that's six hours I've been up, so if normally I got up at 7am and had a drink with lunch at 1pm, then getting up at 5am means it's completely normal to have a glass of wine at 11am'

Usually, when not on hioliday, wine started around 6pm. Sometimes earlier though. Weekends - any time.

Glass

Vodka was my weapon of choice.

About 50/60ml per glass topped up with diet lemonade or such like. 4 or 5 glasses per day, starting at 6pm. Or earlier if was any kind of 'occasion'.

Then, if I was feeling like it, 2 or more glasses of wine, large (250ml) of around 12-13%.

So, my average units were 80-90+. Every week.

Not anymore.

I think I have a problem. I've read this thread and am crying because so much of it rings true, yet I still want a drink. Right now i mean. It's not even 3 o'clock.

I drink every day. Sometimes I'm 'good' and just have half a bottle of wine. Usually it's a bottle. Weekends it's more. Spirits at the weekend too because it's 'civilised' to have a vodka before dinner. Sundays I start at 1 while I'm cooking Sunday dinner. Then I carry on. I got to bed at 1 last night .

I have 3 dc's who don't desrve a hungover mum. My dh 'likes a drink' too. Sounds harmless when you put it like that.

I didn't consider myself an alcoholic - how do you know if you are? I always just say I like a drink. I've stopped going out because I drink so much i get in dangerous, stupid situations. Foorget all about my family and just drink. It's astanding joke that I'm always last out. It's not for the company, it's because it's acceptable to drink on a night out. So now I drink at home.

Every morning I think - that's it. Then by this time I think...why not? The first glass goes nowhere. I want to stop but there's a bottle in the rack and I don't think I can not have it

I've namechanged because I'm ashamed.

'newbie' here
...2 days
came out of the blue, totally. Though 'oh ffs surely to god I can just have the one...' Well apparantly not. Apparantly I am really a nice polite middle class verging on the frumpy complete and utter tit head. I hated every minute, but it was just this all consuming compulsion...

Can't believe how many posts are on here alraedy, I'm afraid i haven't read them yet, I've kind of not had the courage to peep on here, but 'hello' to all newcomers.

Welcome toclear. You sound like you have definitely come to the right place this afternoon. Whether you want the alky label or not does not matter.

This is defintely a MIFLAW moment - and anyone else who is about!!

Please don't be ashamed. We are all the same here x

hi algee, great to see you! Don't worry about what happened. What's done is done. Just concentrate on not drinking for today. God, it's horrible when you drink, isn't it?!

"I like a drink."

"I've stopped going out because I drink so much i get in dangerous, stupid situations. Foorget all about my family and just drink. It's astanding joke that I'm always last out. It's not for the company, it's because it's acceptable to drink on a night out. So now I drink at home.

"Every morning I think - that's it. Then by this time I think...why not? The first glass goes nowhere. I want to stop but there's a bottle in the rack and I don't think I can not have it"

PLEASE explain to me how paragraphs 2 and 3 relate to paragraph 1. What is it in paragraphs 2 and 3 that you "like"?

clearmyhead you've done the first important thing and posted on here about how you feel, how much your drink, and some of the consequences of your drinking.

It is not surprising that you are crying because it can come as quite a shock to realise that you might have problem with alcohol.

You say you don't consider yourself an alcoholic. No-one can make that decision except you, and in many ways it does not matter. What does matter is that you feel as though you want a drink now, and that although you want to stop, you are not sure that you can.

Can you start by putting the bottle from the rack away somewhere? Lock it in the garage. Pour it down the sink. Put it high up on top of the kitchen cupboards. Anywhere where it is out of reach.

I hate it but I can't imagine never drinking again. It frightens me to think of it. I don't know how I've become like this.

I can make myself wait until evening though and (very rarely) I have a night off to prove I can. But then it's back to business as usual.

Alcoholics drink from the morning and hide empties don't they? Not respectable 30 something wome who like a cold glass of wine while cooking tea. Then the bottle. Then fall asleep drunk.

When are you considered an alcoholic?

Hi algee. Really good to see you. And 2 days is so much better than a week long binge (which is what I am afraid might happen to me).

"I hate it but I can't imagine never drinking again. It frightens me to think of it."

Try imagining the alternative then.

Repeating this. Every single night. Exactly the same (except, over time, it will progressively get worse.) Until you die. Probably messily and prematurely.

toclear - read back over the threads if you can. Alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes. Alcoholic drinking patterns are all over the place. Several of us have posted before that as we didn't pour vodka on our cornflakes there was no way we could be alkies. I have drunk early in the morning but definitely not all the time. But I am still an alky.

You are here so you are obviously worrying about it. Everyone here will support you and not judge you. MIFLAW might state some uncomfortable truths - but we love him! And we need it too.

Do NOT think about not drinking for ever. One day at a time is the way to do it.

I don't like how I end up but I like the feeling when I've had the second glass and my body just relaxes. I like the taste.

I hate not feeling in control. It is a battle. I watch the clock and think - right, 6 oclock, crack open the wine. I like the noise the cork makes coming out and then the glugging.

I hate that I want to rush through dc's bedtime to get back to my wine.

I am pathetic and don't wnat the drinking to carry on. I am jealous that some of you have been able to stop for so long.

Looking at all those I's...I'm sorry, it makes me sound horrible. Just that I feel quite shocked.

Wrong Toclearmyhead

Alcoholics drink and do not stop at one drink. Regardless of the time of day.

They don't stop until they run out or pass out.

Just because you don't hide your empties (yet) and start after lunchtime, doesn't make you not an alcoholic.

clearmyhead you've got a wocked sense of humour. You know the answer to your question about the respectable woman who drinks a whole bottle of wine and falls asleep drunk.

Yes the first glass is respectable, nicely chilled while you're cooking. But do you stop at one glass. Heck I never did. I couldn't. That's what makes me an alcoholic.

And yes I did get to the stage of hiding the empties. But I didn't start that way.

Wow! X posted with all of you there. Sorry.

toclear - you've made a massive first step by getting on here. Maybe you would consider AA? Maybe not. I don't know how you feel about that...

If I can stop for 40 days (this time!) you can do it. We can all do it one day at a time.

wicked, not wocked

I don't stop until I run out. The only reason the other bottle is in the rack is because I didn't know dh bought 3 bottles si I just drank 2.

I can't believe this. Sat down with a brew and clicked on this thread and it's like looking in a mirror.

Thank you. I will go and read the other threads.

My hands are actually shaking.

"I don't like how I end up but I like the feeling when I've had the second glass and my body just relaxes. I like the taste."

So just have the two, then. Simple.

unless, of course, that would be problematic for you?

"I like the taste."

Another of my favourites. I am guessing that, if you can't get your favourite drink, you go without?

clearmyhead no point in being jealous of people who have been sober for longer than you have.

The person on here who has been the longest sober today is the one who got up earliest in the morning.

Lots of us are finding that the best way to cope is just to focus on NOW. Don't worry about the wedding you're going to next summer, or what you're going to drink at Christmas, or next weekend, or evening this evening. Just concentrate on the fact that you are sober now, at the moment.

P.S. Do you never drink wine out of a screw-top bottle

Fantastic - read over the other threads toclear, keep posting and join us on the journey!

I see that MIFLAW is on top alky myth busting and denial bubble bursting form today !!

Watery venus - I drink what's there but do like the cork noise!

Thank you all of you. MIFLAW - when you actually look at what I'm saying it is ridiculous isn't it? Like when I order cases of wine and think that's normal, even though it's all gone in a week. I'm just making excuses to myself.

Am going to take the children out for a walk now. Will read through the threads later on tonight.

When I say jealous, I mean that I think it's fantastic that you have done it and I can't imagine being strong enough. But 12 years ago I couldn't imagine being like this so maybe I will surprise myself.