Done something stupid

[undercoverregular]

Be warned this may be a long one.....

Basically I slept with someone yesterday - and I don't mean dh....

He and his wife are good friends of dh and myself, we see each other regularly, kids best friends etc. Over the last month or so he and I have been doing quite a bit of mutual flirting which has led onto regular texting, texts getting quite steamy. We've met for a quick snog/grope when we can. He makes me feel amazing - passionate, desired, sexy etc, which dh doesn't though I've tried to feel like that - all the things that people feel when embarking on an affair (except not sure I can really call it that...). I even bought very sexy underwear for him.

Anyway yesterday he got home early and came round (at my suggestion) - we only had 15 minutes and as it was one of the only occassions we had to be alone at home we ended up in bed. It lasted all of 5 minutes and the second it was over he legged it home to have a bath before his dw got home. I knew we didn't have much time but even so suddenly found myself weeping buckets, and not sure why.

Still can't work it out completely - I didn't feel particularly 'used', but the sex wasn't good for me, to be honest after all the texts we'd sent saying what we'd do if we could in the end it came down to a quick sh*g.

Yesterday afternoon I was delerious with delight knowing something was going to happen, and also wondering how long it would go on for. And now I know it's over. The spark that was there has gone. There have been none of the naughty texts that made me grin from ear to ear - just a few saying are you ok. (I texted back saying I wasn't sure and haven't had a response...).

I just feel so let down. It was supposed to be so passionate and all-encompassing and has just fizzled like a damp squib.

I know I shouldn't feel like this - it feels like I've been dumped and I haven't but my emotions are all over the place.

At least now it's over and I've learnt my lesson. I know dh and I need to work on our marriage which is basically OK but he doesn't do a great deal for me to be honest. And how do I explain all the new underwear - which he isn't the remotest bit interested in.

Oh I'm just going round in circles here. Please tell me it'll get better. Also really unsure how I'm going to face the other guy - we're due to see him with some other friends tonight. Serves me right I guess...

[kath4kids]

Thing is bugsy2 if this were a woman saying that a friend an dh had done this to her what would we be saying then?

Just glad there are people who can see both sides. Life isn't always black and white but we are adults and when adults make decisions usually those decisions don't jsut affect us they affect everyone around - husbands, children, friends extended family

[SleepyJess]

kath4kids what you say is very true. 3mummy.. I can understand where you are coming from. I live in fear of the same thing happening to me, (although not with my friend.. I can't conceive of the idea, it must be pure, indescribable hell you are going through.. a double whammy to say the least) not least because for a long time I felt I deserved it because of the fact I left my previous H for the man I am now with. (It wasn't just sexual kicks.. it was everything.. and we have now been together 10 years - but here I am trying to justify myself!)
My post below was to try and describe how/why these things happen.. the 'only human' element of it all.. but that does sound lame in the light of the misery of the person on the receiving end.
UCR if you think your marriage is worth saving at all, muster up every ounce of strength you have and stop it all.. don't text.. don't flirt. And if your marriage is worthless, end that instead.

SJ x

[Windermere]

Although I would not entirely agree with 3mummy's words, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. When your friends give you tea & sympathy it encourages you to carry on with the sordid immature little game. Sometimes you need to be told you are behaving like a heartless slapper to realise just how damaging your behaviour is.

[cod]

Message withdrawn

[SleepyJess]

What woman? Cod, there is noone on this thread that types like you! In fact, there is noone on this site that types like you! Now get on the Ann Summer site and get yourself kitted out, woman!

[jampots]

I know 2 women whose lives have been destroyed by their best friends shagging their dhs. One of the best friend's dh's had a heart attack when he found out! Honestly, just keep away! Even if you dont say anything, how do you know he wont? By god I dont want to be you when your dh or your friend find out!