ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 6

[gettingeasier]

Cant survive 5 minutes without this thread

Ah I love the Drifters . I actually love Italian opera aswell & find it good for the soul. I don't normally inflict it on dc's but on way to beach today I blasted it in car & ignored their looks of dismay

One for the meet up everyone

A few pics of me on the

Hi everyone hope your all keeping well

Had a good day today, really good actually.
Was really peed off last night so thought bollox to the cleaning and i went to my mates for dinner and a drink, had a good giggle, then her son (he's 29) came home from the pub and declared his undying love for me and said he'd had a thing for me for years (know the family 12 yrs) and propositioned me unfortunately i think of him as a little brother so gently let him down, but it made me feel really good
Done some more cleaning today and had a long hard think about things and realised that i have really neglected myself over the last 4 years, i dont wear make up unless im going out drinking, barely look in the mirror some days and LIVE in joggers and a top
So have decide to look after ME, i want to do something with my hair and get some new clothes and try to look and feel good about myself [grin
EP didnt come this morning like he said but i expected that so after i picked the DC up from my mum i called to see if he wanted to see them and he came round and as soon as he come in i told him the plan, i asked how often he wanted to see DC, he said every other day so i said fine your time is 2pm till 4pm if he comes at 2 he can have 2hrs but if he turns up at 3.30 then he only gets 30 minutes as i need to build a routine for the DC, i told him he wasnt aloud to shout at me as he would be asked to leave and if he was asked to leave he wouldnt be allowed in the house anymore and to see DC he'd have to collect them and take them out, i also told him that sometimes i'd go out when he came and other times id go upstairs to relax.
Also told him that we are NOT to talk about our relationship, period, i want to just concerntrate on the DC.
We were making chit chat and he mentioned DS2 drawing on the wall so said i was going to decorate the house and do the jobs that needed doing and he offered to come round and do them for me, i said no i'll either do it myself or ask a friend to do them for me, he seemed a bit put out by this, oh well.
Did tell him that he could put my new bed up when it came and he asked why i was getting a new bed so i told him, "i dont want to sleep in a bed we've had sex in " i also told him im getting rid of the sofa for the same reason "i dont want to sit on a sofa every day that we've had sex on
so he said he'd happily do that and asked if he could have the old bed, i said fine but didnt think he'd want it for the same reasons i didnt want it
I think he expected to find me still a mess but instead he found me confident about what i want and making plans for mine and DC future...without him seen a feww odd things cross his face, thought it was a bit like regret tinged with sadness, GOOD i hope he realises what he threw away
I am soo pleased with the way i handled things today and am feeling really confident that i can do this, i just need to get a new routine going and make the kids feel safe about things again...i am so proud of myself lol

Loving the music Happy . Will have to do dj night on your return........

Soverign, I feel proud of you too after reading that post. You are doing great & it's obvious the break away from the dc's did you the world of good. All of what you've said above are great things & will empower you & make you feel more positive.

I am obviously a weaker person then you though because if any 29 yr old came within an inch of me atm I don't think I'd be capable of refusing..........

Sov huge round of applause for you!!!!
The not shouting at you in the house will make such a huge difference to you and ur dcs.The image thing to is all part of them wearing you down so big hugs and enjoy ,walk tall ,what a great day for you !
Have a great hol Happy,
Will really miss not meeting you all but mebbies one day,
Dd 3yo was playin in the water at the edge today and said mummy look at me im a mermaid i swear i nearly burst into tears wee darling ,they had such fun splashing around in the sunshine home late and sound asleep.Found out dog is great for meeting people so will take her out with us as often as possible [although one person called her a chiuaua ]
Yep funny how quick they disentegrate without us startin' ,
bought more fragrance oils today for my candles and ink for my printer so its non stop here
waves to mf pink kit ab ant and t .....trees sound great ,so glad you found a wood x

Well major update. Just checking my emails & I was winked earlier this evening by my first ever normal looking person............This is amazing! Was so excited I didn't bother just winking back I went the full hog & sent an email saying hi. Watch this space lol.........

Love it Startin'

Happy - have a wonderful break away

Starting - if he wasnt like family i wouldnt have said no either and good luck with the email, look forward to updates

Patience - glad the candles are working for you, unfortunately im not very creative [hmmm]

and big wave to everyone else, better get some sleep busy day in the house again tomorrow

Morning all. Despite bags being packed sadly there is work to do before hols. Eyeing up guys on train lol.

Sov, your comment on creativity makes me think of Dumpling creative workshop. All lined up with clay pots on a wheel....
Waves......

morning all - have a cool time happy

a big WHOOOP WHOOOP for sov your post made me really smile - good on you !!!

starting keep us posted

kitty are you ok?????

oooooooooohhhhhhh i am going to get me hair cut like this..... mine is the same colour

i have always wanted to do it buy h liked it long

made an appt for Saturday. eeekkkkkkkk

AB, haircut is gorgeous

girls can any of you please contact me privatley. thanks

Morning all

Things great here at the moment with one exception, as always, my ex.

He arranged yesterday to take out DC2, DC1 not home this weekend. He turned up 1/2 hour late then they went for a walk, that was it, for an hour.

Now I wouldn't be bothered so much if he made the effort to see them a couple of times a week, but he doesn't. He only lives 20 mins away, and they will be back to Uni in a week or two.

You would have thought he would make a huge effort for them, he always was so adoring of them, they are delightful and good company. I just don't understand him.

My NM felt so bad for Dc and could see how upset I was as well, that he offered to take us both out for the evening. I turned him down on the night out but he came over for dinner and sleepover, it is not his responsibility to look after my Dc, especially as we have only been together about 8 weeks.

Why is my exh behaving like an arse where his DC are concerned? They always seemed to mean the world to him, one day he will realise what he has missed.

Hi Kitty, I just tried contacting you but can't so if you'd like you can contact me on [email protected].

Party, sorry x is letting dc's down........

Happy, happy hunting in train

Teflon, that haircut looks really fab.

Waves to pt hope your doin alright and enjoy the rest of hols with dcs x
I think Pinks word "COMPROMISE" has really stuck with me ,how can they be so selfish to think their lives are compromised not enhanced when bringing up dcs x
Love to kit hope ur cool x

getting myself wound up

Told XP yesterday he could see DC 2 till 4 every other day, was meant to be coming today and so far hasn't turned up then when i go on my sisters FB he was on there 40 minutes ago posting music from you tube arrrggghhhh just wanna scream at him, "how the f is FB more important than your DC, sort your bad priorities out PR*K!!!"

sorry ladies but if i dont do it here i'll either do it on fb or to his face lol

My friends 29 yo son added me on FB today and 8 minutes later EP put his status as so it begins.....lmao, i think he believes me and FS are gonna get together cause i told him about saturday night pmsl

Soverign, that is v sad for your dc but I think it shows exactly what your xp's priorities are & where he's at now. Nothing you can really do about it except keep firm boundaries in place. It's a good idea to vent here as it'll help you to calm down before you've to deal with xp.

Patience, so true!

Partytime...ditto ditto ditto

Everything you said is the same as me ecxept mine aren't at uni.

If I was him I'd be banging at the door to see them as often as I could.

He's never said sorry to them or tried to explain. Nothing.

He's 15 mins away and sees them for 30mins or so every few weeks or the cinema where obviously there is no conversation.

TBH the DC aren't bothered. They think he's a bell end.

Lovely weather again today.

well 4 pm has come and gone and he didnt turn up, have text and said "well suppose the kids will see you wednesday then, dont forget you time is 2 till 4" .......hasnt bothered to text back w**r now im having to deal with the fallout of him not coming grrr

Sorry sov -its hard but it will get better I promise -and very good to vent on here!

FC for Starting! :)

Patience - love the creative juices flowing

AB - love the haircut!

Lastly found

and felt it was very much in the Dumpling spirit!

Ok i may be wrong here Sov ,but if he feels you are growing strong without him he will still try to bring you down upset and irritate you re these situations.I wouldnt text him, fb him ,contact him when he doesnt turn up ,i wouldnt give him an opportunity to upset me .This negative interaction will be a habit to him ,feed his ego.All immature ,self importance stuff. Just look after yourself and dcs.I am NOT saying make access difficult ,just stick to what you have said ,all i mean is dont react to his selfish behaviour re dcs {very difficult i know}remain dignified ,just stay neutral ,helps you to stay positive ,peaceful with the kids .Up to him to show he is a responsible Daddy ,his actions will speak louder than his words .

I completely sympathise with you having to pick up the pieces with dcs but you are doin a great job with 3ds and tiny dd.Hope you got them to bed ok and can put your feet up now.
You ok kit ?
Was out tonight 'til 9pm

Mum fun PMSL at ur link