AF? Are you around? Could you come and slap me please?

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

and then maybe give me an un-MN un-Crunchy hug?

hey, UA

Well in that case...which cheeks do you want slapping ?

Just go bongo on me

I like how the message of this thread has gone from "Get me to pull myself together and then comfort me" to "Kinky fun, followed by spooning"

It encapsulates everything I love about this place.

at bongo

What are you dragging your heels about ?

Me? Draggin my heels? Never! You know me I'm decisive and stuff like that.

Ok, well, H and I are working on things. He's doing well. I want it to work.

He was going to move back in in a couple of weeks. But I think I'm going to postpone that. He's just told me that he came off his ADs secretly a couple of months ago, after promising it would be a joint decision.

I feel betrayed. But he has been a different man in other respects.

This is a big admission for me. Since, well, the end of April I suppose it was, something changed.

But he has been well since he came off his ADs (one of the reasons I often commented on how well they must be working more fool me). So this could actually mean the end of his depression. And if that's true he can't hide behind it anymore. He has been supportive and nice, does more than his share around the house, is back to being really involved with the DCs... you name it, he's making an effort.

Best wishes Crunch

Ah no SGB, screw the real bit!

Yup, I sure do. I believe he used the depression to justify treating me pretty crappily, and he does accept that now. I think we do need to slow it down a bit.

I just felt a bit like "Let's give it one last all-or-nothing".

I don't want anyone to feel as though supporting me before was a waste

Ooh!

Ladies, perlease

I have depression but no way does it excuse me hurting dh.

No way would anyone feel previous support was wasted. You certainly give as much, if not more, back

It obviously helped you to get a better handle on things and feel justified in taking a strong stance

I would feel a little though at him stopping AD's without discussing it first, if that was the agreement. Have there been any other instances of him trying to bulldoze the situation along quicker than he should be ?

< just bites the bell-end of a chocolate willy off and savours it >

< imagines ThatBloke wincing >

Thatbloke if you're on he thread then you're already involved

Cg, you're right it doesn't. I think it took me a long while to stop making excuses for him and start making him take responsibility for his actions.

Af, one of the first things that made me realise he was different was one I first brought up the subject of living arrangements, followed by listing my concerns, he stopped me there and said that as long as I had those concerns I clearly wasn't ready.

The ad thing has bulldozed me a bit, I've asked him for a couple fo days to think things through. He's very sorry and has happily given me my space.

I am stronger now. I do have limits. I've also built up a new social life and strengthened friendships, so I'm not as vulnerable as I was.

AF, thanks for your er, concern

I have to cook tea now for SWMBO, but might be back later.

Adieu!

Damnit, he just turned up. His reason for lying? No reason. Didn't really think it throughh apparently, did it with no medical supervision, lied to me every time I asked about his meds and whether he was taking them.

Is sorry.

I asked him to go.

Am I over reacting?

All I can see is that he made a decision about my life and didn't involve me in it. He risked me, he risked the children, and he doesn't eve n have a reason.

I didn't have the choice to distance myself or to keep an eye on him.

I cant look at him without thinking back now.

swmbo ?

is that the same person as Su Bo ?

crunchy...I really don't think you are over-reacting about his meds

he has been stupid, tbh, and could have easily fucked up his brain chemistry by suddenly stopping them

is he deliberately trying to sabotage his recovery ??

Af I don't think so. I think he just wants to be 'better'.

He doesn't realise that he has taken away my safety net. These ones really seemed to stabilise his mood. I felt safer knowing he was on them. So now I feel... Less safe.

he can't force himself "better", just because he wants it

I know that, you know that, he's a bit slow

He can't even understand that if he does something so big without consulting anyone and without really questioning the decision, that that isn't the action of someone entirely rational.

I don't think he's better, I think he's just improved

But with me having been telling him how well he was doing, there's not a hope he'll believe that.