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Original poster

Old Bags No More - The Brave Babes & the Battle with the Booze

982 replies

MoominMags · 15/07/2010 09:26

Well, here we go ladies (and MIFLAW)! The new thread to follow on from JWN's 'me and alcohol have ruined my family'. I hope no one minds that I decided to go with 'brave'? I just think that it describes us!

As a quick recap, I am 33 and on day 22 of sobriety (on this occasion!)

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Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 13:51

What's the 'Golly' for? (Easily confused remember!)

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gettingwrinkly · 20/07/2010 13:58

I need to develop new hobbies - whatever I do of an evening is done with a drink or 2,or 3 etc.
I've browsed the MN and seen lots of bits that interest me so I'm going to save them for tonight.

I don't normally drink cold drinks unless it contains alcohol, will have to try out several, or kid myself that it's still daytime and have more tea, good job tea's not alcohlic I can drink gallons of that per day!

algee · 20/07/2010 13:58

...I used 'golly' in my last message; thought you'd all be at your screens snurking at me!

...work going well today

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 14:04

OK, I get the golly bit now!

Yes, I am being really, really productive ! Although, it's actually very productive to be welcoming a new person to our thread. Not sure my boss would view it like that though!

Soda and lime is lovely wrinkly, really refreshing. Tea is always good! If it's getting difficult tonight try to focus on the 'one hour at a time' mantra if needs be. I generally can't post in the evening but most of the others will be about. So keep posting!

OK, might try to be a bit more work-productive now. Although I won't be able to help popping back to see what's going on... wasindie, where are those babies?!

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Mommy2BubbanHun · 20/07/2010 14:06

Long time lurker here. I'd just like to say well done to all the battling babes. You are fantastic!

wrinkly you say you've backed yourself into a corner with your family by denying you have a problem with drink. My sister is an alcoholic and we have all tried to help her over the years. Lately she has become much, much worse. As a family we have stopped drawing attention to her problem because it has lead to her storming out of pubs and parties and ending up in some of the most hideous dives, with the most frightening drinkers. I know she has been mugged at least twice, and my other sister is sure she has been physically attacked by her drinking 'buddies'. At least if we keep tabs on her she is relatively safe. We can't watch her all the time, but I think she does most of her drinking at home and isn't roaming the streets looking for company.

We are playing a waiting game now. Hoping that she will ask for help before something dreadful happens, and terrified that she is so deeply in denial about her problem that there is no hope. It is heart-breaking to see our much-loved sister and daughter destoying herself, and we would do anything to support her. I'm sure your family feel the same.

All the very best wishes to you for your sober future.

MIFLAW · 20/07/2010 14:15

"I don't normally drink cold drinks unless it contains alcohol, will have to try out several, or kid myself that it's still daytime and have more tea, good job tea's not alcohlic I can drink gallons of that per day!"

Or just don't drink? I know what it's like at first, you do feel you need the same amount of fluid - but you come to realise that you weren't drinking all the time because you were constantly thirsty but because you were a piss-artist. Male ex-drinkers don't suddenly start downing 8 pints of tap water a night! Without the alcohol, your liquid consumption will gradually go down to sensible levels because you separate the need for fluid from the need for the ethanol it contained.

Meanwhile, tea is ideal, because not only does it quench thirst, but it's quite hard to drink alcoholic drinks after a cup of tea so it acts as an "appetite" suppresant too.

gettingwrinkly · 20/07/2010 14:37

Mommy2BubbanHun - I've tried really hard to conceal my drinking from my family i.e. brotheres sisters, mum. I have failed a couple of times, but I think my family on the whole think that I like a drink rather than "she can't stop drinking". At family parties I don't drink anything until it's almost time to go home, as I know I will still be reasonably sober and then I can "reward" myself with the bottle of wine I've got waiting. It's a grubby little secret that I've worked hard to keep secret.

Miflaw, you are talking a lot of common sense, I guess I'll have to see what works for me.

I'm visiting a friend tonight, so won't be home thinking about drinking until 9ish, I feel like a clock is ticking in my head.

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 14:53

Well, I didn't manage to stay away for long, did I?!

wrinkly - I recognise the 'reward' when no one else is about for getting through the evening/ event. Also, don't worry about 9pm tonight, focus on what's happening in the here and now. Tonight, when you get in, log on to here, catch up with everyone and post how you are feeling. You will be fine.

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Mommy2BubbanHun · 20/07/2010 14:57

wrinkly What about the things you can't hide? Your skin, your teeth, your breath, the state of your clothes, the shakes?

I had lunch with my mum and 2 sisters last week. Alcoholic sister stuck to water as 'she had to get back to work'. The previous night's binge was seeping out of her pores and she smelt like a pub carpet. Her hands were shaking so badly, she could barely hold her cutlery.

When she left us, tears were running down my mum's face.

And yes, we did see her go into the pub on the corner even though she walked past it then doubled back.

There is loads of help and support out there for you if you look for it. This is a really tough thing to do alone. Whether it's AA, counselling or family and friends, people do want to help.

Mommy2BubbanHun · 20/07/2010 15:00

Sorry. This is probably the wrong thread for my witterings. I just wanted to congratulate you all for facing your problems and doing so well.

I'm off to search for a thread for friends and families of alcoholics now.

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 15:02

Argh to Mommy2. Sometimes I think I need a reminder of how I have affected other people and your post did just that. Your poor mum.

Have you or your family thought of Al-Anon? They provide support for the families of problem drinkers. (God, sounds like I am trying to boss everyone into AA or Al-Anon today!)

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Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 15:03

Don't feel like you can't post here Mommy2! We are just trying to support each other and it's great to hear the other side.

Thank you for your congratulations too. I hope that your sister can find the way some day x

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gettingwrinkly · 20/07/2010 15:05

ok. have to do the school & making tea stuff now. Will log on tonight, big thank you to everyone, although I'm feeling quite, no make that very scared.

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 15:06

You can do it wrinkly. We are all rooting for you.

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MIFLAW · 20/07/2010 15:32

mommy

Snorbs is a good person to stalk if you want a thread from the point of view of the "other side"!

algee · 20/07/2010 15:56

A bit self indulgent I'm afraid. Struggling like crazy at this very moment. Hoping that typing it will help. I'm not going to. But I think I might. aaaarrrrgggghhhhh. Actually, call that very self indulgent. Virtual slaps and batterings arounfd the head needed. God all of those times I wanted to over the weekend weren't like this.

Bit surprised. Very basic feeling. Bollocks. keep saying one won't hurt can't shake those words. won't now i've posted

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 16:05

That's great that you have posted instead of keeping quiet and sloping off to get boozed up.

This too shall pass. You can get through this algee. You know that it won't stop at one drink, watch the film right to the end.

Can you maybe get to a meeting tonight?

Won't slap you round the head just yet! Keep 'talking' to us...

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Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 16:12

Talk to me algee...

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algee · 20/07/2010 16:15

it's not passing, i don't understand. totally out of the blue, i've felt quite chipper today. child here playing who i don't like, lots of removals people calling, hot, but NOTHING that should be making me feel like this. it's very strong,

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 16:18

It will pass, I promise. Just keep away from it one minute at a time if that's how it has to be. Keep putting it off! We have all gone through this recently - and fortunately, this time, come out the other side.

Maybe you have let your guard down a bit and that's why it has crept back up on you? For me, feeling good or happy can sometimes be as dangerous as feeling down or pissed off.

You can do this algee. You know it's not worth it.

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algee · 20/07/2010 16:24

fizzy water

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 16:26

Yes, fizzy water is a fab idea! (If that's what you mean!)

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algee · 20/07/2010 16:32

I think guard down figures...sorry to witter. don't want the graesy swaeting, shaking hands headache nausea eye ache dark bags do want a drink though. going to fold some washing.

algee · 20/07/2010 16:33

meeting out for tonight. dh in town until late. sorry.

Original poster
MoominMags · 20/07/2010 16:34

Hey everyone, my time on here is drawing to an end for another day!

JWN, venus, kate, chinkof, algee, MIFLAW, wasindie, wrinkly, ido and curry - I hope that you all have a good evening. (If I have forgotten anyone I do apologise.)

algee - I hope that you are able to get past the urge that's hunting you at the moment. You can do this.

wrinkly - hope to hear more from you when I log back on tomorrow.

Take care everyone x

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