Because I'm a man on a "women's" site.
Christ I'm dull and predictable without a drink.
But at least I am no longer "the wrong kind of exciting".
I used to see a guy at meetings (I assume he still goes, it's me that's left the area) who said that his ambition in life was to be the most boring man he knew, because of what he used to be like when life was "exciting" - he had been sober then for several years and said that people still cross the street to avoid him in his home town!
Cat - I don't mean to attack you, but when people say, "I can't do this," it is usually because they have not thoroughly considered the alternative - getting drunk every single day until you die and waking up the following morning feeling like shit.
During my first year in recovery I had lots of slips. Each time there was a different reason. Looking back, I now realise that it was the same reason every time - I was not taking it seriously enough. A part of me believed that somehow, by some miracle, it would sort itself out and just "get better" of its own accord. It was when I realised that this was not the case and that, if anything, it was going to get worse and worse and worse, that my current unbroken period of sobriety began.
All of you can do this - and, as I said to Trinity, I know this, because I did.
You are all miracles - every day you go without a drink is a day of laughing in the face of destiny. Your illness wants you dead and every day you don't drink you are saying "no". Keep saying "no" and keep living (not just existing, and certainly not dying.)