Old Bags No More - The Brave Babes & the Battle with the Booze

[MoominMags]

Well, here we go ladies (and MIFLAW)! The new thread to follow on from JWN's 'me and alcohol have ruined my family'. I hope no one minds that I decided to go with 'brave'? I just think that it describes us!

As a quick recap, I am 33 and on day 22 of sobriety (on this occasion!)

JWN - your daughter sounds so glam! And you sound so proud of her, it's lovely.

trinity - what a lot you have been through. But you are a survivor. You're here and you are looking for a way to improve your life and the lives of your daughters. Brilliant. (Am laughing about your girls watching the poor bird!)

Hiya mouse! Good to hear from you.

venus - enjoy your birthday girl swim!!

moomin - yep - i am a very proud mother - i cant help it

trinity - your household sounds full! theres nothing like having a baby in the house for bringing you down to earth is there! (i bet your dil will love having a bit of sober help!)

must go and do a few jobs now, back later!xxx

btw - good luck with the garage, i simply hate that type of job.

Trinity

I love your last but one post. Feeling 'safe' enough to pick up your grandaughter and change her.

And that life has so much more to offer than drunkeness............

"I do find ypou a little scary...like you can see in to my soul or something..!"

Only because it's disturbingly similar to mine ...

Cat. YOU ARE NOT WEAK. You appear to have a drink problem. If you do, then it is a recognised mental illness. I am afraid willpower is no more or less useful in this respect than it is in dealing with diaorrhea.

Trinity

Will try to work out your units later on today but, in the mean time, will you be happy to use "absolutely fucking shit-loads" as a working definition?

MIFLAW -

"drinking became too too easy" - I don't believe you. I drank probably less than you and it was fucking hard work!

It's the way I tell 'em.

Hello, am wondering if I should join. Haven't been on Mumsnet for a while, I have had some tricky times, DH made redundant, and a friend of mine and her DD (we were in hospital together having our baby girls) were killed two months ago.

I recognise a few of your names and I hope I'm in the right place. I know you have all suffered a lot so tell me if I should go elsewhere!

I've always drunk too much, ever since I was a student, except when I was pregnant, and I think that's why I love being pregnant so much. But I have two DDs and not having any more. I've always used anything as an excuse - it's the holidays, it's sunny, anything, I've made a delicious dinner (I'm a real foodie) it would be such a shame not to have a good glass of wine with this... Anyway, over last two months my consumption has rocketed, and my tolerance too, so a bottle of wine feels like nothing.

DH also drinks a lot.

In last week I've decided not to drink at home any more, so had no alcohol on 4 out of seven days last week and haven't had anything since Saturday, and today is Wednesday. I am going out tomorrow night, so not sure what I will do, I am thinking I won't drink. Just to get a clear week.

I've got an interview next week, and I don't want to cloud my head with booze. I haven't worked for three years while having children. I'm really scared of the interview even though I've made it through to the third round. I have had PND, in fact I'm still on ADs.

I have put on weight with drinking too, am currently doing the 30 day shred and a bit of running too to keep my spirits up as exercise helps.

Trinity

If you want to work it out yourself, try this

Hi christi,

Sounds like you are probably in the right place. I was definitely in the situation that a bottle of wine hardly touched the sides! So the intake goes up and up (and up...)

I am so sorry that you have had so much crap to go through. What I can say is that the shit stuff still happens when you are not drinking but it's a hell of a lot easier to deal with.

I am also on ADs - have been depressed on and off for years. Alcohol makes it worse! (I am sure you know all this!)

Just try to stay off it one day at a time. Welcome!

i too have problems with depression and reading these posts it seems to be be a problem with nearly all of us - i have been on fluxotine for the last 3 years, the thing is, since i stopped drinking i now feel able to think about weaning myself of this aswell.

i am getting used to the idea that my 'body is a temple' kind of thing - stop filling it with crap, ie booze, and it will look after me so much more effectivly.

to all the recent joiners, all i can say is - i have NEVER felt better, i feel calm, serene, happy, bordering on joyful i seem to have so much more 'time' i am picking up long forgotton hobbies, my house is a haven, not a battle-ground, i can think clearly and i can look forward to tommorrow without worrying about what i havent done, who i have upset, (where i have parked the car ) i can concentrate long enough to enjoy reading a book, i have lost weight, saved money, revamped my beauty regieme, reconnected with my daughter and my husband, ican cope with my mother better (no mean feat! ) my professional life is back on track (i was plainly going to loose credibility because i was always pissed) my garden looks lovley and my nails are growing!

none of the above is in any order of importance, it all just came to me as i was typing, i cannot think of ANY negative points in giving up the booze (the only thing i can say that has not improved is my spelling! )

Thank you moomin. I am sure that I have used booze (and other things too ) to numb the pain of death, miscarriages, PND, and moves abroad etc. In fact it's my stock reaction to almost anything.

I have never really thought about it like that. I am pretty sure I would be in a more stable place though if I had never drunk.

so -

TODAY WE ARE NOT DRINKING!

its nice to have a few pals to NOT drink with!

christi - it only numbs the pain for a while though, sooner or later you have to deal with it or you can never move forward.

(im not saying that not drinking means you 'get over it', you just find a way to live calmly with the pain, because you can think rationally about it and its cause, and move forward with life, iyswim?)

JWN - what a lovely positive post!! I hope that it gives a boost to all those at the start of this journey. It certainly puts a smile on my face.

christi - yes, alcohol (or whatever) becomes the default reaction to anything. I think it was venus who was saying the same thing earlier - happy, sad, angry, hot, cold, depressed, celebrating, new job, losing job, promotion, being in the bad books and so on...

But we are all here - and have admitted that there is a problem. At least we are no longer in denial.

Cross posted JWN - I hope everyone knows which of your posts I was referring to!

Hi Christi,

I am just passing through while waiting for the kettle to boil. My friend is arriving with birthday cake in a few minutes.

Have I reminded everyone that it is my birthday [self-absorbed alcoholic emoticon]

And I've just made up a new song...

It's my birthday and I'll be sober if I want to, sober if I want to. You would be sober too, if it happened to you.

Doesn't scan very well, but who cares

I love your song!

hello all - I've been away for a week or so and this thread has rocketed to 22 pages!!! 22 pages of really amazing effort from all of you.

For the new ones who won't know me - I'm one of a merry band of cheerleaders and I wish you all so well. I continue to be in awe of the bravery and courage shown by people here.
xxx

Hello EMS - nice to 'meet' you.

Hello everyone. I've just got back from the gym and taking DS2 (20wks) swimming. DS1 (10) is staying at the GPs for a few days and I've got a job interview on Monday so I should be preparing for that!!
Normally I would go to the shop now and buy a bottle of wine. But today I'm not going to..
Reading some of your stories fills me with both sadness and admiration. I am going to read this entire thread and the previous one this afternoon. With a nice cup of tea!

Hi EMS, nice to hear from you again and so good to know that all the cheerleaders are still about!

cat - well done, you are changing your habits already.

Hello mouse, how are you this afternoon?

Venus Happy Birthday!

Very very good to celebrate with tea and cake. Really impressed. Very serene.

I am just back from seeing therapist for my PND and anxiety, she is trying to help me through my nerves for my interview next week. I am holding on to those positive vibes and the good vibes I get from hearing from all of you.

Jesuswhatnext the advantages of not drinking seem countless!

venus - not sure if kylie needs to worry! you banana!