Old Bags No More - The Brave Babes & the Battle with the Booze

[MoominMags]

Well, here we go ladies (and MIFLAW)! The new thread to follow on from JWN's 'me and alcohol have ruined my family'. I hope no one minds that I decided to go with 'brave'? I just think that it describes us!

As a quick recap, I am 33 and on day 22 of sobriety (on this occasion!)

btw -

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

JWN...a window man too??!!

No time for a boyfriend, eh? Time for the window man though?! Ha ha!

umm - he is rather gorg - a bit rough actually, must go!

Happy Birthday to ME, happy birthday to ME.

How lovely to start a birthday without a hangover. In previous years I have loved having a birthday at the weekend because then I could justify starting the day with champagne - the only time I would ever have a drink in the morning (except for other people's birthdays, and Christmas, and anniversarys, and ... [I hadn't got round to any other excuses - yet]). This morning the thought of champagne does not even appeal.

Today I am going to celebrate by going for a lovely swim. Nothing too stenuous, more like the aquatic version of a nice stroll. I will enjoy the freedom, the lack of guilt, the surroundings and be glad that I've admitted my drinking now, before I fucked up totally and lost everything.

This afternoon a friend is coming for coffee. Friend is not a drinker so no risk there, and he has got a young puppy, so we will probably go for a walk by the beach.

This evening we are going out for dinner with dds. I have chosen a place with lovely food and I will try to concentrate on enjoying the flavours (I'm a bit of a foodie). A celebration meal might feel strange without a drink, so any tips from you lot would be good. I know that if I did have a drink, it wouldn't feel like a celebration it would feel as if I'd let myself down (and you lot too) and I am trying to anticipate just how good I will feel at the end of today going to bed sober and proud of myself.

Today, it is my intention not to have a drink.

happy birthday venus

tthankyou to everyone for beng so welcoming

Daaayy Siiix in the Sobriety Hoooose

(hopes everyone gets the big brother joke and doesn't just think I'm insane)

I was wondering if anyone could tell me how many units I should be under (If I start drinking agin)

and how many I was on previously?

2 bottles of 13% wine plus 5 or 6 bottles of becks

or

a bottle of vodka 75cl
and 3 or 4 big glasses of wine and 3 or 4 becks

ugh
that is so so sick and scary

Trinity - I am so glad you mentioned the Big Brother reference! Whenever I think Day 34 or whatever, I hear it in that Geordie accent! (I don't even watch the flaming programme!)

I think that women are meant to have no more than 14 units a week. I have no idea what that equates to though! Anyone?? (It's all academic for me though as there is no way I would be able to stick to that amount per week once I had started!)

Hello and welcome to Cat. Many of us find that early evening time hard (and the late evening, and the lunchtime... ). Until recently it had been a long time since I cooked without a glass in my hand. But you will have seen already how much support everyone on here will give you. We understand 'cos we've been standing in exactly the same place.

I couldn't count the number of times I've woken up in the morning promising that today would be the day I'd control my drinking. I know that wretched feeling that is the combination of being hungover, and feeling crap because I've let myself down - again. Most of us are on here because we've not managed to change our drinking habits easily. We know that we are not in control, and we need some help, maybe from others here, maybe from professionals, maybe from AA.

You can also be pretty sure that nothing you say will shock us. Hiding empty bottles, lying about your drinking, being drunk in public places (there's a load of us who have previously 'enjoyed' a few on the train), being drunk in charge of young children, or even a car. All the things that on other threads would get reactions like this: Here I think you will just find acceptance, and understanding and encouragement not to pick up a drink.

Looking forward to seeing you around.

Hi Trin, nice to see you back this morning (and I feel strangely honoured that the brave and famous Trinity [famous in MN terms] has said happy birthday to me ).

Govenment guidelines are 14 units PER WEEK. That is about one and a half bottles of wine PER WEEK. Spread out over the course of the week, not all in one sitting. That would equate to 728 units in a year. I reckon that at times I could have done my years allocation within 6 weeks .

I am pretty sure that for me, like Moomin, I don't think I could stick to 14 units a week (for f's sake that's like a G&T and shared bottle of wine at dinner on a Friday night, a Saturday night, and nothing else!) and on a day-to-day basis I find it easier not to have anything.

One of the things that MIFLAW and other AA people say, is don't project. i.e. Don't try and look ahead and imagine how you'll cope next Christams, or whenever, or whether you might become the most boring person ever. Just concentrate on today. Don't drink today, that enough. Then tomorrow, if you decide not to drink again tomorrow, then that's OK too.

hmm small chiildren

I have 3 girls who have been though enough and are on the register and I would start at 5 or 6 and then not put them to bed till they dropped because drinking was more important

I feel so ashamed of myself

Hello to all the rest of you too. Wrinkly, glad to see you have just come straight back on here. I was so close to that last week when I'd bought some wine.

Algee, put on your brave coat for that meeting. Sometimes when I'm in uncomfortable situations, I just concentrate on observing, imagining how I'll tell other people about it afterwards. I find that I sometimes get absorbed in what others are saying, and it stops me from focussing on my own feelings.

Mouse, looking forward to seeing you around later when you get a chance.

JWN, in my head I am now building a whole sit-com around your life Thank you.

We haven't seen gloup around for a few days. Come back and tell us how you are.

There's stuff that we are all ashamed of trinity. Christ, I can blush just thinking about it now! Just remember that you can't change the past, what's done is done. Just focus on what can be changed and that's not drinking just for today.

I hope that does not sound too trite trinity in light of the awful stuff you have had to deal with in the past year. I am just referring to booze x

no it doesn't sound anything but supportive
thankyou

hi trinity - i have sooo many things to be ashamed of its not true - try not to beat yourself up!, it wont help, just make you feel even lower - you wont ever forget the things you did, but you can start to make amends. i dont know your story, have picked up enough to realise that you have been bereved(sp) - if we can help you to move forward then thats lovley - stick with us, if you pick up, dont worry, just keep coming back, its nice to have you here!

hi jesus thanks

dh died in a high impact car crash on the 24th aug 2009
we have 3 girls together and were married for almost 10 years

drinking became too too easy

ohh darling!! no wonder you are struggling!! - no one could claim to know how they would cope in such awful circumstances - you just do what you think is best! - i bet you have been very strong for a very long time! fwiw, i think that a woman who has held everything together like you do will have the strength to kick the booze!, you will surprise yourself again, im willing to bet!

(btw - i have an uncanny knack for coming out with what looks like insensitive rubbish, please forgive me if i do, its not meant to be!)

Hi trinity, I know that you've been doing lots to sort things out in your life recently. What you're doing now is great, for you and for your dcs.

What else are you up to today? Your dcs will be half way through their school holidays, I guess.

Now I am really, really going swimming. See you all later?

Hello.

MIFLAW - Thank you for taking the time to explain what you meant. I had an idea that's what it was but wanted to be sure.

You really shocked me yesterday. I felt like a naughty school girl. My stomach dropped when I read your words. But I need that. It needs to be black and white with me, not fluffy and pink.

algee - Lurking may have just saved me from a lot of heart ache and more health issues.

MoominMags - I am going to read all of the OP from JWN over the next few days. I hid it so will find it on another PC as I'm not sure how to unhide threads.

I feel fecking dreadful this morning. My head hurts, I had so little sleep. Really fretfull. I feel sick and sluggish.

I had 120mls less vodka last night. My normal gluggs are around 50/60mls a glass.

Hello Trinity and Cat and Kate.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY again Venus. You are the reason I'm here.

we have 28 days laeft of the holidays

today we are going to sort the garage as best we can

we have been forgetting to put the bin out and there is rubbish in there
my mate is coming over and we are fgoing to take it to the tip

dd1 is baking a traybake
dd2 and 3 are fighting over playing with a baby

we found a bird outside the front door today on its last legs and they were thrilled to watch it die

trinity - how old are your girls? i have just the one dd, she is 18 and fabulous! she is away 'glamping' right now in a yurt up near york! she is very arty and a bit off the wall - her prefered dress style atm is a sort of 'elsie tanner cum war time evacuee' vintage look

over the years she has put up with a lot of old shit from me - the fact is, now that she can see me really trying to not drink she looks so much happier - i think she felt almost responsible for me at times - soo unfair on her, i am the parent, not the other way round, an active alcholic parent its a huge burden for a child to have.

oh and dss2 and his gf live with us (for those who dint already know)

they have just had a baby

I'm meema, she is my moonpie

this morning I went into their room to see them and rachael (his gf) was in the loo and the baby was waking up

and for the first time I felt able to and safe to pick her up and change her for them and have a wee cuddle without feeling sick, wobbly, hungover and like I shouldn't be in charge of a small baby

she is only 3 months old

it was lovely

life has so much more to offer than drunkeness

they are 10, 5 and 3

all there lives I have been a depressive
they dont need me to be a fucking alcoholic aswell

I would just like too say that I DIDN'T change the baby or take charge of her before because I felt like I shouldn't

mouse - if you read the previous thread you will see that we all felt fucking awful for the first week or so! it must be our bodies getting rid of the poison!