Old Bags No More - The Brave Babes & the Battle with the Booze

[MoominMags]

Well, here we go ladies (and MIFLAW)! The new thread to follow on from JWN's 'me and alcohol have ruined my family'. I hope no one minds that I decided to go with 'brave'? I just think that it describes us!

As a quick recap, I am 33 and on day 22 of sobriety (on this occasion!)

'Leopard'

Trinty

Feck it is scary. Very scary. Today was my wake up call.

MIFLAW told me how many units I consume in a week today. Just an average week. Not even whe it's weddings/birthdays/anniversaies etc.

I was gutted. I knew it was nore than most but not that many.

I did as most do on the 'how many units' question - 'oh, about 15 a week. Spread out'

Hey Trin, it's scary how the habit can grab you so quickly, isn't it.

My tactics are threefold: having an alternative drink; having something to keep my hands occupied; having something to keep my mind occupied.

My alternatives drinks are usually cold and fizzy and sour e.g. lime and soda, or grapefuit juice and tonic. A cup of tea and a kitkat is always good.

I keep my hands occupied cooking, baking sewing and of couse, typing on here.

Being on here also keeps my mind focused on enjoying being sober, and I sometimes do sudoko things.

When all else fails I go and brush my teeth because all alcohol tastes vile for about 30 minutes after you've put toothpaste in your mouth. By then, the moment has usually passed.

Last post for tonight.

When I go to bed tonight I will be 48 years old. When I wake up in the morning I will be a year older.

venus

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR THE MORNING!!!

The kitchen is being ripped out so I may not be here first thing.

I will be back though as I feel I have found a place to just, be.

Night.

PS - 4 drinks. 4 whole drinks and that's it tonight.

I feel good about it. Silly.

Happy birthday Venus!

Mouse

I meant that when I was, say, 20, I was, had I but known it, already an abnormal drinker, drinking practically every day. But it was just a couple of pints of bitter or brown ale in the bar after hall, or perhaps a bottle of wine (more at parties, obviously.)

When I "started stopping", aged about 28, I was probably on somewhere between 100 and 200 units a week. Fair enough, I'm a man and over 6 ft, but I'm not heavy and that's a massive amount however you want to dress it up.

But now i'm in AA and I meet people who came in older, or started younger, and who made me look like what someone in the Big Book describes as a "panty waist". To them, I was a toy drinker. These are men (and even some women) who drank a bottle or more of spirits a night and did it for years (my entire proper drinking career was only 10 years from start to finish.) I instinctively know that they are telling the truth, but sometimes I look at them and think, "you must be lying, or else how comes you're not dead?"

Yet all the signs are that I, too, would have got worse, because that's what had happened up to the point where I stopped. Why wouldn't that carry on? Unless I died, of course.

So there you go. I was a Crystal Palace or Leyton Orient (or maybe an England Under-21s squad - exceptional for my age and build, but still with so much to learn.) My options were to keep getting worse, get locked up, or die. I can't honestly see how it could have gone any other way.

Morning all!
Just typed loads then lost the lot. gah!

Venus...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope that you have a lovely fab day. Reading your posts last night reminded me again what a gigantic help you have been...thank you.

Mouse...it took me 5 weeks of reading the original post before taking the plunge and posting myself. I've been a creepy lurker for years. MN has kep me company, but the point at which I felt compelled to post originally was the point at which I KNEW after 12 years of bonkers drinking (getting gradually worse, and commenced because of shit happening...which made it justifiable in my world) I was admitting that I was out of control, and that I needed help. I have found it in buckets here...I hoper you will keep on posting? No idea of my units, don't want to face that one yet, one thing at a time...

Trinity...as a (ex) lurker, I have sent you counteless well wishes through time. Lame I know, but it's good to see you here. 5 days is great, and I hope that by the time 24th August comes, you will be able to mark Neils anniversary however it is you want to without the cloud of booze muddying and dulling things for you.

JWN...what can I say? Echo venus' sentiment...Joanna T, a threesome, and leopard print pinnies...kind of glad I didn't go to bed with that image! HAve a happy day!

Wrinkley...can hardly believe day 9 for you? Fab. Today is my day 20. 3 weeks tomorrow. Thought that was impossible!

MIFLAW...I love reading your posts, glad not to have seen one addressed to me over the last fewdays, I do find ypou a little scary...like you can see in to my soul or something..!

Chink? You out there? Please post..

Hope to hear from wasindie maybe today? Hope you're sober in you knackeredness!

Moomin expect I'll see you shortly... to any and all I've not remembered, sorry, and good morning.

Later fairies, I'm off to walk the dog!

Stupid stupid stupid woman. Back to day 1. Went out and bought a bottle of wine last night, promised myself I'd just have one glass, had the whole bottle. Oh God why did I buy it? Hadn't had a bad day, just felt in one those bored moods where you're bored but can't be bothered to go and do anything.I am so stupid and I feel like I've let you all down after you've been so supportive. Well here we go again day 1.

Wrinkly I feel like I'm going to be the one doing that almost every day. Good thing is you've come back though! One of the things I typed in the post I lost was how good it was to know I could be honest with you lot...you haven't let us down you banana! Onwards...

...came back to say taht I'm going to a meeting today at midday

Good luck algee ,let us know how it goes .
gettingwrinkly - good on you for posting !
Just keep going ,you'll get there .

Good morning all,

algee - hope you enjoy your meeting a little more this time! Let us know how it goes. I went to a really good meeting last night - the main share has been sober 27 years, yikes! And I would guess she's in her 40's. And... she's happy!

wrinkly - you haven't let us down. The best thing is you're being honest and you're back.

JWN - sounds like you had a good chin-wag with the ex-con!! Also having weird images of the whole gangster's moll thing!

trinity - it's great to have you on here. I know a little of what has happened to you in the past year. I have no comprehension of what you have been through. Welcome to you and I hope that you find this thread useful.

mouseface - you are making great progress by talking to your dh but - as the others have said - you can only change your own drinking. Concentrate on yourself.

venus - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope that you are having a good, sober morning!

And a big good morning to MIFLAW, chinkof, wasindie, kate, curry, ido, ginger and gloup. I hope I have not forgotten anyone.

Well, I am good and happy to be sober!

Happy Birthday Venus! how are you celebrating?

Algee, thats great news.
my AA chum is fab, everyone i have met through her is fab, you are fab!

Wrinkly, been there, done that!
just get back on it (you banana )

Wishing everyone else a sober and productive day.

hello all.

Can I come and join you all??

Every morning I wake up and vow that this will be the day i stop drinking. Every day I fail.

Morning kate, you sound bright and breezy today! Hope you have a lovely day.

Hello cat, of course you can join us! Welcome to you. Have you considered any outside support? GP, counselling, AA, whatever?

no not yet. I wanted to try alone first. I drink between 1 and 2 bottles of wine a day. I start each day with the best of intentions, but always seem to give in. I am very weak and use the alcohol to counteract stress and anxiety

Have you read all of this thread? (And the original - if you have a spare few hours!!)

Alcoholism is not about being weak or weak-willed, I promise. How do you feel about AA? (Apart from being horrified that it has come to this!! That is certainly how I felt!) You have made a huge step in coming on here and talking about your problem. We have all felt weak and pathetic in the face of alcohol but (and this is something that AA teaches) it's an illness or a disease - nothing to do with willpower.

We really need MIFLAW over here - he's always got some great pearls of wisdom for the newcomer!

Hi MM

Welcome Cat.

Did you know alcohol is probably causing that stress and anxiety?

You can stop, just dont buy any! tip all you have away! sit on your hands! do the hoovering! have a bath! a cup of tea!
You can do this!

Hi Cat,
Welcome!I know exactly where you're coming from, it sounds just like me! but I have managed a week and despite last night's blip I will be trying again today. Good luck!
Venus, Happy Birthday! (Forgot to say earlier in my throes of self-pity!)

I agree with kate, the booze will actually be causing the stress and anxiety. For me it causes paranoia too. I cannot tell you how much better life feels without all that!

thankyou all - this has given me a boost already. Today i WILL NOT DRINK. The early evening is the hardest. I will be here looking for you all xx

Get through it one hour at a time (one minute if needs be). You can do it and you have all our support! We are all just the same here.

you are there Cat!

this is exactly how becoming sober starts, you have taken the first steps!

a very good morning to you all!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, SQUASHED TOMATOS ANS STEW!!! VENUS - YOU LOVLEY OLD BANANA!!

there are so many of us now i cant believe it! (just goes to show how common this problem is!)

wrinkly - pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start again!, dont brood, just do!

cat - nice to meet you, tell us all about you, we are incredibly nosy!

trinity - nice to have you here too!

btw - i just told my mum about how you imagine me - she says it is uncannily accurate! (bf is best friend, have no time for a boyfriend )

see you later i hope - window man just arrived.

bum I forgot loads sorry. welcome cat!