Old Bags No More - The Brave Babes & the Battle with the Booze

[MoominMags]

Well, here we go ladies (and MIFLAW)! The new thread to follow on from JWN's 'me and alcohol have ruined my family'. I hope no one minds that I decided to go with 'brave'? I just think that it describes us!

As a quick recap, I am 33 and on day 22 of sobriety (on this occasion!)

Agree about MIFLAW - he sees through the crap, damn him! (You can't kid a kidder and all that!)

It has been a v busy afternoon on here, I have been cross posting all over the place!

Has anything kind of hit home mouse? Or is it all a bit too much at the moment??

I got let off the hook too much myself and, looking back, I could have done without that. I know I'm harsh on others as a result - feel free to ignore me!

70 units is huge - but, if it makes you feel any better, you won't be the worst if you attend AA or something similar.

Let's say that you have made it into the ranks of the professional drinkers and are a country mile ahead of the normals and amateurs - but it's now up to you whether you stay as a Wolves or Crystal Palace or go all out for Man U status ...

I cringe when I calculate my consumption in units. Bottle of wine a day = 63 units a week. And all the rest .

But what did I say last time I had a well-woman appointment? "Oh not much, probably a glass or so too much at the weekends" [liar emoticon]

This has hit home HARD.

Give me a mo.

Take your time mouse. We are all here if you need us.

OK Babes, it's pretty much log-off time for me as usual!

I hope that everyone has a good evening. Will be thinking of you all. Thank you for getting me through another day.

mouse - I really hope that there is more to read from you when I get back tomorrow morning. I also hope that you are not feeling overwhelmed.

Keep safe everyone!

hi all,
Welcome Mouseface! My consumption was around a bottle day, sometimes plus a bit of anything else that was lying round, because my tolerance had obviously increased, so a bottle just wasn't quite enough anymore. It is scary, and like you venus whenever I was asked at the doctors I would be very vague and say "oh I think about 15 units" , makes me cringe just thinking about it. But at least thinking that gives me a bit more momentum to stay away from it.
I can also identify with the all or nothing syndrome, that sums me up pretty well.
Now onto day 8.

wrinkly - fab on day 8! I bet that 8 days seemed impossible at the start. We all need to just keep stringing those days together... one day at a time, ha ha!

Hello.

I have just sat down with DH and told him about this thread. How I clearly don't 'enjoy' (thank you so much MIFLAW, I get what you mean) a drink. About the 70 units per week and the overwhelming urge to fix a drink the second it hits 6pm.

That's as far as we have got. It's feeding time at the zoo.

Be back later.

Wow Mouse. That's good progress. Admitting it to yourself and also telling someone else.

Of course, if your dh also drinks a lot he may not be in exactly the same place as you in terms of wanting to do something about it.

See you on here later.

venus

Ok, what you said about DH is spot on. He's in denail.

He has just given me a million and one excuses to justify my/our drinking. Like a DS with SN, hormonal DD, troublesome building work going on, very difficult house sale (not here, our other house) work, my physical disability, money, life, you name it........

We worked it out, he drinks about 70 units too. I am as thought he was nowhere near my units. He is a beer and red wine man.

I'm a bit lost as to where to start but have told him that the weekly shop is about to change big time.

I really need to take some sort of control. If it's in the house I will drink it.

My first drink tonight was at 18:55. 55 minutes later than yesterday and every day before it since DS was born.

I am pleased but it's an empty victory IYSWIM??? I have now had 2 vodkas.

MIFLAW

Can you please explain what you mean to me when you posted this?

'Let's say that you have made it into the ranks of the professional drinkers and are a country mile ahead of the normals and amateurs - but it's now up to you whether you stay as a Wolves or Crystal Palace or go all out for Man U status ...'

Do you mean if I carry on drinking I'll reach the Premier League? If I stop, I won't?

Sorry. I just want to understand your analogy.

Hi Folks,

Just checking in.

Good day today.

Yes, I drank and bf, in the early days not so much, but since breaking with DP, (christmas) a bottle at weekends, leftovers monday, would have a sober tue, wed, thur, though share a bottle at any opportunity, then bring on the bottles for the weekend.

Would tell myself just one bottle, then send friends to the shop to buy more...have ended one particular friendship.

Good to see the thread moving fast, getting more people on board, what a brilliant thing this is.

Indie, kudos! bf twins!

Newbies, welcome!

Everyone else, all doing so well, lets keep it going ( rah rah rah! )

Hello Katerum

hi all! dont worry if i disappear - a tree has come down in the road and it is messing up all our connections! - i am hoping not to have go into the office tommorrow, so i may not be about for a couple of days - bugger it!

mouse - i have a feeling that you may create soem real tension in your house if you try and make your dh stop drinking - for now, i think you should worry about you - you have shown him how his units are mounting up each week, all you can do now is wait and see how it affects him, he has at least been honest with you about the amount he drinks.

i have been to meeting today, sat with an old lag who told me all about how they do prison tattoos! he was a nice old guy who didnt look like he could puff his way out of a paper bag, but he had done a 'stretch' for armed robbery while pissed - now 15 years sober and living a good life! we walked into town together afterwards, must have looked a funny old sight, i htink i looked like a gangsters moll! me all blonde hair and him all tattoos and gold bling! - he liked my 'motor' too!

anyway, having a good day and evening, bought a pattern to make some (now, don't laugh!, i am going to use leopard print fabric!) pinnies - i am going to make one for my bf and one for mum, simple, easy things to make to get used to my new sewing machine.

btw - my unit consumption was proberbly into double figures , i sometimes wonder how i am still here, i really was killing myself

ps - i used to trot out the old 'oh, about 10 units a week' to the doctor, they must dispair!!

Hi mouse, so glad you came back and posted. Can you alternate your vodka with another non alcoholic drink for the rest of the evening, and perhaps end up just drinking a little less?

It sounds as though you have had a tough day coming to understand the amounts that you drink and how much you rely on it. It is quite a shock isn't it? Whatever happens comes back tomorrow and talk to us again. You know we have all been where you are.

It is interesting about the excuses. If you have a chance to read any of this thread and JWN's original one you will see that we all have lots of excuses for having a drink:- celebrating or being depressed; good news or bad news; being tired or wired; a sunny lunchtime or a rainy evening. I could find an excuse in any situation. It sounds as though you heard that tonight in what your dh said, and it probably echoed what you say to yourself in your own head. Sounds as though you have a lot going on in your life, but maybe drinking so much is not helping you to cope in a practical way.

I am sure that MIFLAW will come and explain his post, but I know that he has been around alcoholics for a long time and many people just keep on drinking more and more until they reach rock bottom. JWN first posted when she thought that she had lost everything. My wake up call came before that (although that is probably only luck), perhaps this is the case for you too?

I am sure that others will come with other thoughts, but you and your drinking are the important things for you. You cannot stop your dh drinking, he will have to want that for himself. So whatever strategies you decide on you will have to take into account that he may continue drinking.

Hope you manage to have a good rest tonight. Take care.

Chinkof, are you around? Did you pluck up courage to go to a meeting?

Hope all you other lovelies are having a good evening.

venus

I read the very first page of JWN's OP 'me and drink have ruined my family' I think??

I hid the thread

It was all too close to the bone.

DH has said he will try to cut down but it has to be him that does that, not me. He subscribes to a wine club.

I have to concentrate on me and not let this come between us. That won't be easy.

He sounded resentful earlier. I can't get into his desire to drink. He is an adult.

I want to reduce my booze and my dependancy because, let's face it. This is what this is............ for whatever reason.

Vodka number four with oj in bewteen the last 2. I have a pint of water before bed each night and take water with me. Red flag or what. Stave off the enevitable hangover.

So. For now it's just me.

I want to say thank you for posting in reply to me. I'll be back tomorrow.

BTW - if I stop at this drink that will be 2 less than normal.

I think I'll stop.

Night.

good evening all

Hope you dont mind me popping in

venus invited me over from a thread I started

I haven't read the whole thread, sorry

I dont know what everyone is doing

I'm not sure if I should be here, not sure if I'm barging in when everyone else has so much more need for help

but I'm about to go to bed and thats will be 5 whole days without a single drink

sorry maybe I should say I used to be drinking 2 bottles of wine plus beer

or a bottle of vodka plus wine plus beer

each night

there would be one or two days a week when it was oonly beer but alot

never drank vodka till neil died

Trinty

Looks like your thread has given these lovely folks 2 new recruits!!

Hello.

IIRC - you are staying sober until 24 August? Raising a glass to Neil?

Hi Trinity, anyone is welcome to barge in, and you are doing well on your 5 days. You're doing a great thing for yourself and for your dcs.

Everyine on here has been so lovely and supportive. Some of us have found it tough to stop drinking, and there have been some relapses. I know you have a clear target for Neil's anniversary but most of us are only looking one day ahead.

Have a good sleep. And however you feel in the morning, it won't be as crap as being truly hungover.

hi mouse and venus

thankyou

yes i am setting a clear target so I can prove to myself that I can do a month

when I woke up thinking this has got to stop it was just coincidental that it was a month thr
ereabuts till the anniversary of neils death

which when I realised that made it all the more important to me that I dont enter the second year without him in a big fucking mess

I had to show myself that I was in control of the alcohol

so I've decided I'm allowed to have a drink
to neil but not before then.end of

scarily though it has been a little harder than I thought

JWN, yeah my units were probably up there too .

Now I'm getting some really confusing pictures of you, the combination of a Joanna Trollope novel and a gangstgers moll in a leapord print pinny is making me laugh. And to top it off, everytime you type 'bf' I think you mean boyfriend! (I assume you mean best friend). The image of your dh at home by the aga while your boyfriend wear a leapord print pinny is just too mind bogling.